What does everyone do all day???

[Zeeky]

I've got an 8mth old DS who is my first. One of the hardest things I've found getting used to is not getting stuff done in the daytime. DH gets home from work and asks what we did today, and I struggle to find anything that I have actually done other than change nappies, feed, play etc with DS. DS is very good most of the time and happily plays by himself with his toys as long as I am close by. I'm not planning on going back to work, but some days I do get a bit bored, despite loving ds to bits and enjoying watching him develop so much. I can't wait until the weather gets warmer so that I can at least sit DS in the garden and do a bit of gardening.

What do other full-time mums do with their time, and do you get things done around the house. DH gets fed up sometimes with having to spend every weekend trying to catch-up with gardening/DIY/cleaning etc.

[Tommy]

what I would suggest you do first, is go out for the whole day and leave your DH at home with the baby so he has a bit more of an idea what it's all about.
Apart from that, I go to parent and baby groups, swimming, library, park, hopping with baby as he seems to like sitting in the trolley and "helping" etc etc.
Most importantly - meet some other Mummy friends and get together for coffee so you can share ideas

[fiodyl]

i just find ways of doing the houseworky stuff around the kids or getting them to join in and make it a game eg helping to load/unload washing machine, chasing them around with the hoover, put them in the bath while i clean the bathroom.
other than that we go to the park, toddler groups etc. nothing too exciting but it helps break up the boring sameyness of everyday iyswim

[Zeeky]

I currently meet up once a week with my antenatal group for coffee, go to a baby development class once a week, meet other friend who has toddlers once a week, so I do have a few things that I regularly do. I also go to the supermarket once a week and DS seems to enjoy that, and also pop to the shops once a week. I'm very lucky in that I have cleaner who comes once a week and also does most of the ironing.

I sound like a right whinger! It's the other things that I struggle to get done that I want to do, like gardening & cooking. I know that as DS gets older he will be able to join in more, and also when he starts crawling/walking I will probably have my work cut out for me looking after him.

I think the problem lies in the fact that I had quite a senior position at work, so was used to a very structured day & getting a lot of work done, then would come home and do loads of stuff round the house/garden too, and feel like I'd achieved loads. Now I have to keep telling myself that my job is to look after my son.

I've tried making my days more structured, but then ds will not want his nap/have a cold/wake up earlier tha normal etc which then throws my day out!

[Tommy]

It is hard to start with isn't it? If it's any help, since my older DSs have started school, it had got me into a much better routine with DS3 - there are jobs that need to be done and days that we do them but it has taken me 5 years to get there!

Don't forget that taking care of a young baby is a full time job and, although not difficult in the usual sense of the word, it is relentless and unpredictable (especially with naps etc) You are your own boss but no-one has given you a job description or any training so it's not surprising that we find it a bit of a shock!

Have you tried actively planning your week and filling it if you feel you need to be kept busy - making time for naps etc (these will probaly get more structured as he starts walking etc as well).

Otherwise - just stick him in front of telly and come on MN all day like the rest of us do

[3kidsisquiteenuff]

zeeky a cleaner!!!! oh how the other half live!!!!!!!!

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Playgroups, playgroups and more playgroups!

[willali]

my children are a lot older now but i do remember a day whem my first was about 4 months old and my DH came home, found no clean mugs in the cupboard and said "what the ####have you being doing all day - you haven't even emptied the dishwasher". I had to be physically restrained from phoning the divorce lawyer!! Seriously, you have to accept that looking after the baby is time consuming, you may have to accept a lower level of tidiness / organisation than you /DH would ideally like, and DH needs to pull his weight too and be understanding. IME it gets better with the second as you are not having to learn it all from scratch as you are with the first. It is a reality though that being a SAHM is very boring a lot of the time, and sometimes lonely. I found when mine were babies that forcing myself to go to toddler groups etc and meeting people for coffee was worth it and broke up the monotony. The housework just got done as and when.. HTH

[Zeeky]

Thanks for your replies everyone. Most of the time I enjoy being at home with DS, but then some days time just seems to go by really slowly. It's not helped by the fact that DS only naps for half hour at a time, so I don't get much time to do anything or just have time to myself when he is asleep.

DH works long hours, so I feel bad if he has to do mundane tasks at the weekend. He's usually pretty good at spending some time with DS looking after him at weekends (he doesn't really see him in the week) while I get on with the things I can't do in the week (gardening, hair cut, clothes shopping etc).

I think maybe I will start going to some playgroups in the week as well, now that DS is big enough to play properly.

[PengTheMerciless]

Have you read What Mothers Do?

You might find it useful, or at least comforting.

[eidsvold]

I go to parent and toddler groups, I go to swimming with my dds - I have three girls. One who is at school and the other two are still at home. We also visit the library, park, do the shopping, meet up with friends.

I am active in parent groups and then somewhere in amongst it manage to sort out the house.

[thelittlestbadger]

My DD isn't much bigger than your DS and I tend to sit her in a room which I'm tidying or sorting out and let her bang things or play with toys on the floor while I explain what we're doing. If I need to get stuff done outside, I'll either put her in the sling and carry her along too or take out a rug and make sure she has lots of layers on and then leave her playing happily on the rug.

I;ve found she will generally be happy playing like that for around 20-30 mins which will give me a chance to get meals and purees prepared or some tidying/ DIY done. IKWYM though, I still feel I have to go out every day or I get a bit stir crazy.

[Zeeky]

Peng - just had a look at it - looks good. Thanks for the recommendation

[zuzkah]

zeeky - I feel exactly the same. My ds is 20 weeks old and naps only 30-40 min. which gives you no real time to do/not do anything. Last week we had this silly argument with dh who cleaned the bath sink...'Can't you do that during the day?' Hard to explain that you don't have time... I cut down my hosework cos I felt like Im only placing my ds to different places so I could do the work only to get dirty the next day. So I'd rather spend time playing with my ds. The housework won't run away as in my country say.

[zuzkah]

tommy - Im glad it gets easier. My dh keeps saying how can we have more children if you don't have time for anything with one.