bit embarrassing (sorry poss TMI)... explaining periods or period paraphenalia to a 2+8yr old

[mankymummy]

so... obviously cannot go to the loo in peace with a toddler.. have my period at the mo and using a towel. sat on loo, DS comes in and asks whats that? why are you wearing a nappy mummy?

didnt want to say yes mummy is wearing a nappy because i've been trying to tell him big boys and girls dont wear nappies (trying to warm him up for potty training).

totally flumoxed and ended up telling him it was a cushion for mummys bottom. obviously will try to conceal in future but what on earth can i say to him when he brings it up tomorrow, which he certainly will because he is an encyclopedia when it comes to memory!

[Yabbadabbadooo]

Will watch this with interest as have the same problem with my two and have already used the nappy option which opened up a whole can of worms.

[FrannyandZooey]

each month a woman's body gets ready in case a baby starts to grow
it makes a soft lining for the baby
if no baby grows that month, the lining comes out to make way for a new one the next month
it would make a mess of my clothes so I use this pad (or whatever san pro you use) to catch it

it happens to all women each month and you don't need to worry - mummy isn't hurt or cut anything - it is just the old lining that I didn't need, coming out

[IdrisTheDragon]

I've always gone with the basics of what it is with DS and DD (now 4.4 and 2.6). They know that older girls and grown up women sometimes have blood coming out of them and that the sanitary towel stops it going on my pants.

[scorpio1]

Agree with Franny; its becuase there is no baby.

[IdrisTheDragon]

They don't seem concerned about it being blood, although DS was wondering if boys and men had blood at all, or if it was only girls who had it .

[Spatz]

I tell them it's my period.

[Yabbadabbadooo]

OK I get the whole idea of the explanation and agree with it in principle but my kids totally associate blood with pain and plasters. Surely this is just going to completely confuse them?

I'm working on trying to achieve privacy whilst in the loo. With limted success.

[3kidsisquiteenuff]

good advice franny thats what i told my two kids that it just means that mummy isnt having a baby and that it doesnt hurt they where quite happy with that

[FrannyandZooey]

well, they'll associate blood with pain and plasters unless you tell them otherwise
that this is what a normal and healthy woman's body does
that it doesn't hurt or mean that mummy is ill
that is why you need to speak to them and explain, because they will worry otherwise

[Spatz]

My dd (almost 7) asked yesterday if it hurt and I explained it didn't. Perhaps they lack imagination? They seem pretty unfazed - I also find it very hard to get privacy - especially this time when we were on holiday so often going to the loo together.

[HairyToe]

My DD1 is 4 now and from the moment she noticed my sanotary protection/period blood in the loo I told her the truth. Started with women bleed each month but it doesn't hurt at all its just part of being a grown-up woman and being able to have babies. She knows what sanitary towels and tampons are (in fact has had to rescue them from DD2 attempting to eat them before ). To be honest I don't think she has ever asked for any more information than that so I haven't gone into it any more. When she does I'll try and be honest but simple.

I have also talked to her about eggs and sperms (as a result of her questions, not out of the blue) although she insists on calling them slerrrrmmss. DH was a bit shocked but I'd rather treat her questions as somthinhg normal than make something up.

To be honest I found (and still find)explaining the concept of death much much harder than anything to do with periods, sex, making babies.

[ellideb]

This is something I wonder about myself when I have children. I do intend on being as honest as is possible about bodily functions and sex because i think it's the best way.

My mam was totally open about her body when we were children. I remember my sister and I i used to follow her everywhere when we were little (as you do) and clearly remember her changing her pads when she went to the toilet and asking what the blood was. She just explained matter-of-factly that it was called a period and all women had them, that we would get them when we were older too. We accepted it and it was just left at that.

Just explain it in their terms, if they are old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to hear the answer.

[3kidsisquiteenuff]

my best mates kids stuck a whole packet of sanitary towels to her bedroom window in full veiw of the puplic walkway CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!

[Divastrop]

i can recall having to get pregnancy books out to show dd1 the diagrams when she asked about this(aged 3.5)

ds2 is 4.9 and only just starting to ask about it,so this thread has given me some good ideas.

dd2(2.4)doesnt seem to question anything(yet),when i go to the loo when i have my af she says 'tampon?' and gets me one from the box

[HairyToe]

When I was pregnant with my first I had a real panic worrying about when I would be able to go for a poo. I remember Dh and I were in a pub and I was stressing about having to wait all day to go for a number 2 till he came home from work. Seems bizarre now but seriously seemed to think I
1.) couldn't leave the baby alone for even a second and
2.) couln't possibly let a newborn baby see its mother straininhg on the toilet

how little did I know?!

[HairyToe]

divastrop - my dd goes and gets my tampons for me as well

[Divastrop]

'Just explain it in their terms, if they are old enough to ask the question, they're old enough to hear the answer.'

totally agree with this.wish my mum had been like that.she used to say in an irate tone 'i have my things' and growl at me to get out of the bathroom.it was my sister who told me about periods.

[cockles]

And the mooncup? what do i say about the mooncup? really do not like putting it in (never mind rinsing it out) under beady eye of two year old!

[keevamum]

F and Z what lovely advice and way of putting it. I agree with you.

[mankymummy]

totally want to be open about it but he's only 2+8, i dont even think he really grasps that babies come from mummys tummy let alone if there is no baby mummy bleeds a bit.

am i being overprotective? or underestimating what he will understand?

maybe i should just say "its called a period, but its not like when you bleed because of a "baddie" though..." (because otherwise i will have to lay on the couch for hours whilst he plays the doctor and "fixes" me)! bless!

what do you think?

[noonar]

in a moment of madness i coined a phrase...tampons in our hose are now 'ladies' cotton wool'. tink there's a little britain sketch in there somewhere.

[OverMyDeadBody]

mankymummy I think you are underestimating what he can inderstnad, children can grasp quite complex things if they are explained to them matter-of-factly, think of all the things he has already grasped in his short life!

Go with Franny's advice, that's what I did (and do for everything). Seriously, the truth is no more baffling than telling a child his mummy needs a cushion for her bottom!

[OverMyDeadBody]

That whole 'babies come from mummy's tummy' thing must be bloody confusing to a toddler as well, I always told D babies grow in a woman's womb, not her tummy. Children make sense of the world from what we tell them, so we reall owe it to them to tell them facts, even if they are very simplified, from the start.

[terramum]

With DSs questions re mooncups, blood, towels etc I've simply answered simply and honestly. When he asked "what's that?" pointing to the towel I simply said it was a sanitary towel and he wandered off happy to know what it was called...later he asked why there was blood on it..& I said that was my period, which is something all women get once a month. He was really fascinated by the mooncup when I first got it - was really interested in watching me empty it, clean it & crouches down trying to see where I'm putting it & asks where it's gone...I simply say it in my vagina. He is happy with these simple explanations and I will add more detail when he asks for more. I'm of the opinion that if he grows up happy & comfortable with "women's" things like this it is a good thing. How many boys/men have you known or gone out with that are quite frankly scared or totally ignorant about periods etc? I think boys deserve to grow up knowing all about it just as all women do.

...the only issue I've struggled with so far is cervical mucus/fluid. DS said very loudly in a pulic loo the other day upon seeing my panty liner "Mummy you've wet yourself!" and tbh I had no idea what to say that I was hapypy for stranger to overhear ...somehow that just seems a little too private iykwim LOL

[mankymummy]

am very about the mummys bottom cushion thing. how ridiculous!

oh the spur of the moment i just didnt want to talk about blood or bleeding as he's completely freaked by it because of hospital, blood tests etc.

i will sit down and have proper chat with him when he next asks, and i totally agree about being particular about explanations...