What to do when 2yr old DC prefers daddy to mummy all the time?

[mananny]

Hi
My employers are having real problems at the mo, in that their 30 month old DS says "no mummy" all the time and just wants Daddy. It's been going on for almost 5 months and the Mummy (bless her) is starting to get really very upset about it. She thinks he hates her. I've tried explaining that toddlers naturally go through phases of prefering one parent over another, to no avail. Now she thinks there's something wrong with him, or herself. The lil guy gets lots of (mainly negative at this point) attention for the whining, screaming, crying he does in order to monopolise Daddy. We've tried ignoring, redirecting, putting on step til he speaks nicely. He just wants his Daddy. However, when Daddy's not around, at work, lil fella is fine, loves his mummy and we have no issues. As soon as Daddy walks in all hell breaks loose. Daddy is very busy and tries to placate lil fella by carrying him around all the time. But I feel that's not so great an idea and it's not working anyway. I just want Mummy and Daddy to be happy, they are so frustrated and at each others throats about it. Any advice would be very much appreciated, before I have to start charging for marital therapy and well as nannying.

[fortyplus]

It all sounds completely normal to me. Both mine were only interested in daddy at about that age.

[mananny]

I feel the same 40plus but it's so hard to convince an already hypersensitive Mummy (who is showing signs of PND and also has her own neuroses unrelated to the children).

She was in tears yesterday. I have said over and over again "this is normal, please don't take it personally"

But she does, and she's getting to the end of her tether about it. Now it's causing issues between her and he DH.

[Lazycow]

ds had a stage of preferring his daddy at 2 years old. It lasted for months and I did find it very hard when he would howl for daddy, especially at night when dh was away and there was only me around. Ds would kick and shout that he didn't want me he wanted daddy., it is pretty heartbreaking but normal. Then we had some major issues around childcare which left ds very unhappy and he started wanting only me. We had 6 months of that ( he is 3.5 years old now) where he would say @I don't like you daddy but I do like mummy'. Thankfully he seems to be growing out of this stage though and is generally happy to be looked after by either of us again.

This will pass honestly. The key thing (and I know this is really hard) is to not take it personally.

[poodlepusher]

It will swing in roundabouts throughout the child's development. The mother I'm sure will have times when she is favoured instead. Can you tell her this and that she has to try very hard manage it better, emotionally - for the sake of the child? There are so many things you just have to "go with" rather than make your own issue out of, as a parent.