How do you deal with stealing ??

[getmeouttahere]

My 8 yr DS stole a pice of Lego from his after-school club today.

When I arrived to pick him up he was playing with the Lego which he is currently MAD about (he has loads of his own at home).

Anyway, in the car on the way home, he said his friend had given him a piece of Lego, an unusual piece (a persons hair, for Lego afficionados). When I asked him where it was he said it was in his shoe. WTF?

Long story short, he eventually admitted he took it. Cried a lot, said he felt very ashamed and that he shouldn't have done it etc etc. However, if I hadn't pushed him I think he would have happily added it to his collection.

How would you handle this ?

[SniffyHock]

I agree - make him hand it back at the club. They should deal with it really well.

Very normal behaviour btw - just nip it in the bud.

[getmeouttahere]

I agree with you riven and sniffy but DH thinks it would be TOO humiliating and we should just let him put it back in his own way. Hmmm, still not sure what to do for the best.

Knowing his luck though, he would be bound to get caught putting it BACK lol.

Bloody kids.

BTW, he is now happily scoffing a fish finger butty and when DH came home from work and asked him if anything happened today he said "nope..."

[SniffyHock]

It doesn't need to be humiliating at all for him. I would go to staff with him and explain, not in front of other children. They will have dealt with this before and will know how to handle it.

IMO if you let him put him back his own way then it's almost condoning it. I know you're not but do you know what I mean?? Next time he's tempted he might think "mmn, i didn't get in too much trouble last time..."

I honestly think that all children steal something at some time but I would hope my DS would get caught early on so I could scare the pants off him!!

Love how he's forgotten about it already! Typical - we worry but they're not bothered

[getmeouttahere]

Thanks sniffy.

I have talked to him again and we have decided between us that we will pick his favourite "lady" at breakfast club tomorrow, take her to one side and he will say he is sorry he stole the piece of lego and he would like to give it back.

Thats what I thought too, that if we let him "sneak" it back then he gets off too lightly. I think DH was also worried he would be upset in front of the other children(he cries VERY easily, loudly and for a prolonged time LOL)

I think he won't steal again in a hurry.

[SniffyHock]

Good luck - it really won't be traumatic for him but it will put him off.

I used to teach and two (lovely) yr 6 boys stole some cakes from our cake sale once (talk about placing temptation in front of them!)

I told them off, scariest teacher in the school told them off but they really didn't seem bothered. This was until our lovely visiting nun had a chat with them, told them that everyone makes mistakes, she knew they were sorry and that God, of course, still loves them. She was so gentle and they cried like babies.....!

[getmeouttahere]

thanks