Not sure what is right by my ds anymore and I feel like a crap parent

[lostittoday]

Hi
Sometimes I feel like the most awful parent in the world.
My ds is an only and is 7 years old.
He has always been quite demanding on me wanting me to play games with him, etc.

Part of the problem also is that there is never anybody for him to play with, no cousins etc of his own age in the family.

I am also very shy and find it difficult to get out there and make friends of my own, and to even try and talk to people.
As a consequence of this I have no friends with dc,s of the same age for him to play with.
I long for my ds to have some mates to play with but I really don,t know how to go about getting him any.
He is quite popular at school and does have friends there and sometimes has them back for tea after school.
However me being so shy I find it difficult to try and arrange this all of the time.
I hate school holidays as I hate seeing him on his own all of the time.
I honestly don,t know what I can do about it.
He does rely on me quite a bit to do things with him when alot of the time I just cannot be bothered and then I feel guilty so end up trying to play with him.
I try suggesting going to the park, thinking that he will at least maybe find somebody to play with but he never wants to go.
I have tried beavers but he got fed up of that.
He never wants to go anywhere where he doesn,t know other children.
I also beat myself up daily about him being an only as I feel that things may of been different if there had of been a brother or sister.
I think he would have been more willling to do stuff.
It also makes me feel awful if I do go anywhere and see other moms together with friends and their dc's.
I wish so much I had that.
Is there anybody else who feels like me or am I the only one.

[DoodleToYou]

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[DoodleToYou]

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[lostittoday]

Hi
DoodleToYou

I stuck it out with him for about 4 months.
It became a battle getting him to go.

Maybe your right I just get ready and go to the park whether he like it or not.
He can be such a awkward little devil.

[edam]

Maybe he's picking up on your shyness? I don't mean that you should feel bad, but maybe you need to act confident about going to the park/meeting other mums. Even if it feels horrible, pretend to yourself that it will be fine. Brisk and breezy in front of ds 'today we are going to the park, we'll have LOTS of fun' etc. etc.

[edam]

Try other places as well as the park - soft play? Or other activities apart from Beavers - something where there is an activity so he gets drawn in despite himself. What does he like doing? Music/crafts/football etc. etc.

Sorry but I do think you just have to gird your loins about having kids over to play - could you cope with it if you make it once a week or something?

[lostittoday]

I have thought about that edam.
I am not sure if he is or not tbh.

I know that if one of his mates was coming from school he would be off like a shot.

[michie40]

Just wanted to say their ar other Mums out there who feel exactly the same as you. A lot of us are quite shy but perhapes we just hide it well.

I am not very good at talking to people and dont really enjoy the whole mother an dtoddler bit or socialising at the school gate but force myself to do it and the more you do it the less scary it gets.

Just remeber a lot of people feel exactly the same as you.

[lostittoday]

edam I have tried softplay.
I feel terrible at these things as we are always on our own.
My ds as to rely on finding a nice kind child willing to play with him.
Tbh there as been many occasions that he has but it doesn,t stop me feeling any less like crap.
My dp thinks I worry for nothing as he seems happy enough.

[collision]

why not arrange for a school friend to come over to play?

I agree that your ds is picking up on your shyness which you want to avoid.

Where do you live? Maybe we could arrange a meet up with some Mnetters with children the same age.

[edam]

there you go, there have been plenty of occasions when he's found another child to play with. So stop beating yourself up! Just keep going out and inviting kids round to play - it might be torture for you but it's worth it for ds.

I do sympathise, btw, ds is an only so I have to make a conscious effort to have playdates once or twice every week and take him to places where he can play with other children.

[lostittoday]

I do have school friends over.
Although not as much as I would like.
My ds doesn,t really seem to get that many invites and I feel sad about that.

[DoodleToYou]

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