How can i convice DP that DD's evening grumpiness is nothing personal?!

[RGPargy]

Now - I know it. You know it. But DP (and probably other men out there) cant get it into his head that babies are big grumpy-pants babies normally from around 4pm til bed time because they're tired!

He is convinced that DD hates him because she doesn't settle with him and he cant seem to make her smile or laugh etc lately.

I have told him that babies get grumpy from around 4pm and that it's really nothing personal but his argument is that as soon as i pick her up and cuddle her, she stops crying. I've told him it's because i'm more used to pacifying her and know the magic holds and tricks in order to stop her grumping and also it's simply because i'm her mum! His reply was "Well she obviously doesn't feel comfortable with me and i'm supposed to be her dad!".

He gives her a bath every night and also a bottle of EBM after i've given her a massage so he is involved with her as much as possible in the evenings. Obviously if he's coming home from work during the grumpy hours, she's just not going to play ball is she!

Any tips on what i could say/do to convince him he is actually loved and does have a huge influence on DD would be greatly appreciated as it seems to be getting him down!

TIA!

[RGPargy]

Oh and DD is 14 weeks.

[notnowbernard]

That by the time she is 18m old she will want nothing from you and everything from her Father

Only Daddy will do in our house

He'll be sick of cleaning teeth, bathing, and reading Upsy-Daisy books

[RGPargy]

Oh i know!! It's always the way isn't it!! I do feel for him tho, he looks forward to coming home and seeing her beautiful smile (see profile ), so when she's grumpy he really doesn't like it!

[notnowbernard]

She is gorge!!

Lovely photos

Both my dds are total Daddy's girls. It really is lovely to watch

[ara]

Hi RG ,

Ellie is looking beautiful!

Phoebe also does this - i think the way her sleep patterns work mean she's much more of a morning girl (ha! doesn't take after her mother then...) and she gets a little bit crotchety in the late afternoon and early evening as tiredness creeps up on her.

DP also does the bath etc and we have the same thing with the crying - i think sometimes tiny babies just want their mum - after all we are the ones at home with them all day!

i have wondered whether the extra noise/stimulation when DP comes home (cooking - noisily- tv/radio, chatting) after a normally pretty quiet day might make her a bit narky too.

Tell your DP it's not just him!!

[ara]

Just scrolled down your profile a bit - she is the image of him!! very sweet.

[RGPargy]

NNB - thanx. It's normally Daddy's Girl and Mummy's Boy isn't it!

Ara - hiya! Long time no see! How are you? Ellie's the same as Phoebe as far as happiness during the day goes. I know for a fact that when it gets to around 3 or 4 she will start to get tetchy and then by the time DP comes home at 5ish she's really got the hump and just wants to get to bed!

She does look like him, doesn't she!

[EffiePerine]

maybe point him here:

www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html

very normal - can he spend time with her at the weekend when she's in a good mood?

[RGPargy]

Thanx for the link Effie. Yes, he will spend time with her at the weekend and then loves it when she smiles at him and gurgles to him. I think to top it all off, he's been having a bad week at work, which doesn't help matters!

[ara]

I'm good RG, just frantically ebaying off all our possessions in a vain attempt to stay off work a bit longer, can't bear the thought of leaving her with someone so soon . Just gone on to the statutory pay so things are tighter than tight - we just had to get a new car to top it off which is really putting the squeeze on us.

Is Ellie teething yet? Phoebe was vvv upset this evening -pained crying and lots of dribbling. i bought some 'teethas' yesterday and tried one of them during a particularly bad patch and seemed to work extremely well! Might be worth a try if Ellie's gums are hurting her in the evenings??

[RGPargy]

I know that feeling very well, ara!! You're not ebaying an electric pump are you? Think i need to step up to an electric one as i cant get the performance from my manual. Your company must be very generous if you're only just going on to SMP! I've been on SMP since December! My company are really tight with secretarial stuff - such a bummer!

You've reminded me - I must put my stuff up on ebay too.......

[RGPargy]

Oh and yes, Ellie seems to be teething now too. She had some teething gel last night which seemed to really sort her out. She's been a grumpy pants most evenings this week and the gel seemed to cheer her up a little.

[RGPargy]

It's annoying isn't it!! At the same time tho i feel sad for him.