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Has anyone exp of taking thier child to a psychologist/counselling either thru national health or privately?

10 replies

piratecat · 05/03/2008 11:21

My dd5, is suffering since her dad left, and his subsequent lack of commital, understanding.

Since I suffered depression as a child, and still do, I am very aware that she is struggling with her feelings. I say this becuase she is very knowing and sensitive, and alot like me.

I wondered if it would help her at al to talk to someone else, but I would not want it to make her feel more pressured by having to talk about him, nor do I want to just go and see my gp, and be put in the 'system' without some knowledge of what to expect.

As an adult I know how hard it is to accept situations, to accept that you cannot change people. Having worked on these issues myslef thru my life, I know that some of the answers you seek come with time and experience. So would there realy be any point in trying to sort something for her, when as she puts it 'he's never coming home mummy, so I am always going to feel this sad'

I am just at the end of my tether with weight in her mind she seems to carry, this grief and anger. She has also been weting herself daily for a month now, and the gp has said this is behavioural rather than physical??

help gratefully recieved here, thanks.

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piratecat · 05/03/2008 11:28

.

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LittleBella · 05/03/2008 11:47

My DS is currently going to his school counselling service, but has only been doing it for a couple of weeks so can't tell you anything.

I also phoned the charity Young Minds, which gave me an hour's free telephone consultation and some tips to help me help him which were very helpful. Why don't you give them a call, they would talk you through what to expect if the one hour consultation doesn't cover your needs. I totally understand why you don't want to get caught up in teh "system", that's exactly how I felt which is why I got in touch with them.

Hold on will google and find you a link

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LittleBella · 05/03/2008 11:49

HERE it is

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piratecat · 05/03/2008 11:56

thankyou littlebella, thats very helpful.

how old is your ds?

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LittleBella · 05/03/2008 12:00

He's 8.

He's got a very negative approach to life which I think is the result of his early life experiences (alcoholic neglectful father, mother too busy at work and in denial to be fully there for him). His father had depression for many years and I thinik now with hindsight may have still been suffering from it when we were together, but I didn't realise/ know anything about it. I do know that DS has the personality traits which are associated with depression so I just want to give him the best chance I can of him not developing it when he's older.

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piratecat · 05/03/2008 12:18

thanks, for that insight. I just tried the number but they aren't open till 1 today.

You are indeed doing the best for him, by realising the need to reachout. I hope that my efforts will hepl my dd too. She is a bouyant, happy, funny little girl but this is hindering her confidence.

I just want to be more 'armed' so to speak.

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piratecat · 07/03/2008 12:24

anyone else haev any exp?

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piratecat · 08/03/2008 08:38

..

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buzzybee · 08/03/2008 09:00

Not directly but I know myself I was deeply affected by my parents separation at age 6 and I think maybe it would have helped if I could have talked to someone at the time. I felt very responsible for my mother's happiness and desperately unhappy about my father's attitude etc (I'm no longer in contact with him BTW).

I have also been thinking about taking my DD (almost 6) to see a child psychologist for completely different reasons - she is very shy. But am currently trying a positive affirmation approach where every night before bed we think of three things she is "good at", complemented by 3 things mummy is good at (I start the ball rolling - today it was going on the flying fox on her own at the local playground which was a minor milestone for her today).

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marmadukescarlet · 08/03/2008 09:11

buzzy that is good advice.

I second Young Minds, they were great for my DD/me.

My GP has just referred me/DD(8) to a parenting/counselling service.

(DD has mild dyspraxia and has started to have some consanant confusion and GP thinks it is an emotional response to the fact my
DS(5) has serious SN and I spend too much time looking after him not giving DD my attention. How good do I now feel about my parenting skills?)

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