Baby crying...does anyone feel guilty ever?

[Nessamommy]

It really bothers me when my 5 month old cries. I have gotten better I think since he was born, but it makes me feel uneasy inside when he is crying. Does anyone have any kind words to make me not feel so bad about this? I often feel like it's me that is doing something wrong.

[cherryredretrochick]

You arre programmed to feel that way, It comes from a time when a baby had to cry to get it's needs met, as long as you are meeting all your babies needs you do not need to feel guilty.
That said I could never leave mine to cryu for a second.

[LyraSilvertongue]

It's just a natural maternal reaction, and perfectly notmal. I couldn't bear to hear my babies crying. I would have to pick them up. This is why i could never follow a Claire Verity/Gina Ford type sleep training programme.

[hecate]

Congrats, you're a mother!

Yes, we feel guilty. And like cherry and lyra say, that's because you are designed to respond to your baby's cries. It used to be such a physical pull and, well, almost a pain in me, when my babies cried.

There were times, however, when the crying also made me feel so stressed that I had to put them somewhere safe and go away to calm myself, and that's normal too.

I tell you something else. They are now 7 & 8 years old and I still feel that pull and pain if they cry!!

my mum used to say that the day you have a baby, you get a guilt & worry stamp on you that lasts for the rest of your life. She's a mad old bat in many ways, but by eck she was right on that one!

[GerrardWinstanley]

some just cry more than others too. Doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything wrong.

I've just noticed the time of your post - did you and the lo have a bad night last night or are you an overseas mummy?

[BumperliciousIsOneHotMother]

It's like a red mist descending upon you, and you can't concentrate on anything else or listen to anything anyone is saying!

[Poppychick]

I feel downright anxious when DS cries sometimes want to rock if I have try and ignore him. When he was a few months old I felt myself try to avoid doing anything with / to him that would make him cry as it made me feel so upset eg. nappy, putting in cot, trying to feed him when he didn't want it, trying to put him down ...

[dosydot]

ds is nearly 2 and everytime he cries i feel physically sick- I am an odd old bat.
I don't like my dd crying either and get that familiar tug but not the exteme version i get with my son.
I think not likeing them crying is normal and part of bonding/ attatchment -no other childs cires ever effect me.
Hecate I like your mothers guilt bearing for life theory, one I can definately agree with

[Nessamommy]

It's nice to hear that this is normal. I tend to go to him right away when he cries but family members (older) always say I'm spoiling him. But I just can't bear to hear him carry on. GerrardwinStanley..yup, I'm an overseas mom. Nights are great..it's during the day crying. With that, how often do you have to switch your baby's toys (attention span). It seems like my guy doesn't play with the same toys for long...but I don't know what's normal for 5 months.

[LyraSilvertongue]

I wouldn't expect him to want to play with toys much at 5 months.
DS2 was always more interested in people than toys.

[needmorecoffee]

I can get all het up inside. dd cries a great deal. For the first 2 years it was 18 hours a day! Now she's 4 it has lessesned but as she can't speak or move, crying is the only way she communicates. And she yells and yells when she is tired rather than go to sleep.
I feel all anxious and upset and irritable.
And forget driving. DD cries in the car so I can only ever go 3 miles max without wanting to kill everyone!