A shocking story I've just heard from my friend -holding a baby upside down to get it to sleep!?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Advice for my friend really, and opinions. She is thinking of calling the health visiting team to let them know but is worried about it in case she misinterpreted.

She just called me to tell me this and I am stunned and very sad. She went to baby clinic this morning and a group of them tend to go for coffee together afterwards. One of the women suggested they go for lunch so my friend went with her. They got onto the topic of getting babies to sleep and this woman said she had the best tip. When her DD (14 months) won't settle and is crying she holds her upside down by her legs for up to 10 minutes. Friend said she was laughing and said things like 'she cries at first but then goes quiet, it must shock her into just settling, but if it means i get peace and quiet' etc.

When she realised she was serious my friend confronted her and the woman packed up and started to leave saying 'at least I'd never hit her, this doesn't harm her'. My friend protested that and she said 'I knew you were a snooty bitch'.
Needless to say my friend is really worried. I feel so sorry for this baby but at the end of the day it is just hearsay and I wonder what the health visitor can and will do?

The woman by all accounts seems like a perfectly normal caring mother and the baby is happy and healthy. It's scary what things go on, and how she'd so brazenly say this lmost as a 'parenting tip'

[tiredemma]

what a strange thing to do.

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Is this for real?

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Is the child starting to lose consciousness and that is why she goes quiet??

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

NAB it's so shocking I can barely believe it but my friend seems really upset about it.

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

I really don't know what to suggest. A word to the GP?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Am I right in my first reaction which is call the HV immediately then at least it is off her conscience. Hopefully they can do something.

[yurt1]

SOunds like bollocks to me- a 14 month old would be pretty heavy to hold upside down for 10 minutes and very wriggly.

[mountaingirl]

I do hope this is not for real...If it is then I'd mention it to the HV, think of the child.

[AngharadGoldenhand]

What did the other women in the group think - were they all comfortable with the idea?

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

It is cruelty!

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I suspected as much. No one will take this seriously.
Why would a close friend lie about something like this? And why would a mother make it up as a 'funny story'?

[MAMAZON]

I would imagine that the babies blood rushes to her head,it gives her a headache and she cries herself to sleep.



it is certainly not something i think advisable and yes i would contact the HV and maybe ask them to have a discussion with the woman over teh safety implications.

I do wonder why on earth she tried such a method in the firstplace to realise that it sent her to sleep?

[tiredemma]

Its not healthy surely?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

It was just the two of them by then.

[Psychomum5]

this does sound awful granted, but try not to judge too quickly.

when my DS1 was born, he literally spent his first 5wks screaming and holding himself tense ALL THE TIME.

I had had a car accident when I was 28wks pregnant with him, and hit the steering wheel with my bump, and he was at that point lying with his bum and back at the front of my bump, so in effect he also hit the steering wheel with his bum/back. it was with force too, as I broke my ribs!!!!

like I say, he was born scrunched and screaming, so when he was 5wks I took him to the chiropractic college for treatment.

part of this treatment was to lie him on the table and slowly lift him, holding his ankles, until he was upside down........it was to stretch his spine and help his neck manover (sp?) as he was 'stuck' in places.

IT WORKED WONDERFULLY........and he slept after for the first time ever thro simply needing sleep rather than exhaustion.

and I was told to do it at home for him too at least once a day, to help keep the stretch.

I did it thro medical advice, and with the right training too, and for me and my son it was what he needed and it helped. SO.....please don't instantly assume that this mum is doing something wrong.....she may be, also she may not be and is fed up with having to always explain why so now turns it into a joke!!!

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Gosh psychomum that would never have occured to me.
It would seem a little odd though that she would say this without even beginning to explain, especially when my friend got upset over it.

[Psychomum5]

oooh.....just read the age of the baby.

not that it changes what I wrote previously, but with y son we only needed to do it up until he was 11kws old as older than that his weight may have caused problem with his hips undoing the good work on his spine.

maybe this mum also did the same to start with and has found it a habit????

does sound odd at that age tho!!!

[babyinarms]

very sad and i'm sure very dangerous, would tell health visitor to chat with mum.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I have just called her back. She's already spoken to her health visitor and basically relayed what she'd heard, adding that she was sure she wasn't joking but maybe didn't know the full story. They thanked her and that was that. I guess she won't hear any more about it now so hopefully it was a huge misunderstanding or the mother will be told what shocking behaviour it is and stop.

I feel so sad for that baby, we hold ours upside down when playing but never for more than a few seconds.

[Megglevache]

Message withdrawn

[Psychomum5]

well lets hope it gets sorted, or that it was all said in jest and all a misunderstanding.

I guess you will never find out, but at least an appropriate person does know now so if it is anything sinister something can be done.

you never know, maybe it started as something she was advised, but was never advised when to stop, or even she over-heard some-one else talking about it as a treatment (someone like me and my son...), and took it upon herself without any medical advice?!

I will say, I have never ever done this with any other baby, or even with DS2, as it was given as med advise only with DS1....it would never either occur to me to have done it when DS1 was older either.....but then I was told how, for how long minute wise (and it was a short time only cos of the head-rush aspect.......only for 1/2 minutes IIRC), and was also told when I could and should stop doing it.

Oh, and I never really spoke about it except with very close friends at home as and when they asked how thing were with him, as theye knew that I was having issues with him from the accident.

and I certainly never remember joking about it, altho my memory fails me somewhat at times!!

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

I just hope the mother isn't nasty to the friend is anything is said as it will be obvious it has come from her. Let's hope the HV has enough tact to not let on.

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

if anything is said...