My DD (2.5) goes to a childminder twice a week. I?ve just had a call from the childminder saying that DD seems to have a perforated ear drum ? there is green pus coming out of the ear. She isn?t distressed and is playing happily, so the childminder is going to keep it clean and keep an eye on her. I?ll make an appointment for the GP to see her and make sure everything is ok.
DD had a slight ear infection a few weeks ago for which she had antibiotics. She told me a couple of days ago that her ear hurt but didn?t pursue it and didn?t mention it again.
For the past month or so (at least) she has been very snotty and slightly off colour. She has been sleeping very badly for a few months and ends up in our bed most nights. On bad nights I get no evening either, as often she won?t settle until I bring her into my bed and cuddle her.
I am pregnant and not sleeping well because of that, so DD?s sleep problems are making me feel much worse. Because of her lack of sleep (and perhaps not feeling well), DD can be very cranky during the day and she generally is a very feisty and strong-willed toddler.
My DH says that it?s my fault and my problem. He is busy and stressed at work and needs his sleep, so most nights he sleeps in our son?s bed and DS sleeps with me and DD. There?s not much room in the bed and I can?t get comfortable. DD sometimes wakes up and kicks so I need to sleep with my back to her. DH refuses to have anything to do with the whole sleep issue and is not talking to me.
So I?m demented with anxiety, hormones and exhaustion. I am being horrible to my other two children and spend a lot of the time crying. And the past two mornings I have lost my temper with her and screamed and screamed at her like a madwoman. And this morning I hit her. I am so ashamed and feel so guilty, and am desperately worried that the perforated ear drum is my fault. I will take her to the GP but if it?s all my fault, what will happen? Will her ear be alright?
She?s not doing anything that a toddler shouldn?t do ? the problem is that I?m not coping with her. The poor little thing is so lovely and deserves a nice mother. After I had stormed downstairs this morning she followed me down and said ?I?ll behave nicely?, which just broke my heart.
I?m a regular mnetter but have changed my name.
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So worried and ashamed that I may have hurt my child
50 replies
Dementia · 18/02/2008 11:54
OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor ·
18/02/2008 11:58
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bigbadwulf ·
18/02/2008 12:39
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