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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

BIL plays rough with newborn (throwing in air!) - How do I tell Sis she needs to stop him??

48 replies

jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:05

That's it really. My niece is 6 weeks and he throws her in the air like you would a 2 yr old for fun! He also doesn't support her head when holding her.
I know that i need to get him to stop but how can i do it without really offending my sis?

OP posts:

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NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/02/2008 16:06

If she is your sister than surely you can talk to her? Just ask her how she feels about him doing that and make it clear it is a dangerous thing to do.

colditz · 17/02/2008 16:07

You need to catch him at it and shriek "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, i KNOW SOMEONE WHO KILLED THEIR BABY DOING THAT! SHE'S NOT "STRONG ENOUGH TO BE THROWN AROUND LIKE THAT!

posieflump · 17/02/2008 16:08

you need to tell him it's a no no before your baby gets seriously hurt (that's if this post is for real)

BroccoliSpears · 17/02/2008 16:08

I really can't do better than what Colditz said.

hecate · 17/02/2008 16:09

Do you mean he throws her into the air so that he has let go of her and then catches her again? Bugger offending your sis. Tell her that her baby could DIE if her husband keeps rattling her brain against her skull by throwing her around.

2 or 3 seconds of shaking can be enough to kill a baby. Repeatedly lobbing them into the air with the resulting whiplash-like effect isn't going to do them a great deal of good, is it?

Lulumama · 17/02/2008 16:09

am not a neurotic parent by any means, and babies are more robust than we sometimes think, but a tiny baby with no head control cannot be played with in such a rough and tumble way

could cause brain injury?

he absolultey must stop this

jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:10

NAb - I think she thinks that it's Ok too I've senn her do it. I think BIL is quite bossy with her about the baby

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Lulumama · 17/02/2008 16:10

you have to tell them both it is dangerous. and could harm or even kill their baby, why would anyone think that would be ok,or fun for a 6 week old baby??? fucking hell

edam · 17/02/2008 16:11

Tell her to read the bit in the Red Book (you know, the booklet the HV gives you where they write down all the weights and vaccinations) about how dangerous it is to shake a small baby.

jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:12

I've already been ther when he' sdoen it but didin't want to criticise there parenting. Now I know i shoud've done exactly what colditz said at the time

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stepfordwife · 17/02/2008 16:12

colditz is so right

actually, don't wait to catch him at it again, para-phrase colditz's words to him and your sister NOW..

'GOT TO SAY THIS...JESUS CHRIST, CAN'T BELIEVE HAVE SEEN YOU THROWING BABY IN AIR.."..

he needs a swift lesson you can't do this to a newborn baby, before your neice gets hurt. so what if somone gets offended, the baby's safety comes first.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/02/2008 16:13

If you do tell them and they don't listen you need to tell someone else who they will listen too. In theory there is plenty of time for games like that but there won't be if they carry on now at 6 weeks!

stepfordwife · 17/02/2008 16:13

how old are you sister and BIL, btw?

jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:13

You are all right. I'm off to ring sis now...

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LyraSilvertongue · 17/02/2008 16:14

OMG is he nuts? A six-week-old? You must tell your sis NOW before he seriously damages that baby.

jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:14

my sis is 25 and BIL is about 35 I think.

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hunkermunker · 17/02/2008 16:14

Phew!

Hope she listens.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/02/2008 16:15

Be prepared for them to tell you where to go!

hercules1 · 17/02/2008 16:15

The thought of this makes me feel ill.

edam · 17/02/2008 16:16

Also hoping they listen - pair of silly chuffs who are both older enough to know a LOT better. If they give you a hard time, I think you really need to alert their health visitor. This is a very serious issue and they need pulling up on it.

LyraSilvertongue · 17/02/2008 16:17

What's the baby's reaction when he does this? Does she cry? Smile? Scream in agony?

stepfordwife · 17/02/2008 16:17

you're doing the right thing
good luck
don't panic if your sisters gets angry with you - it'll just be her being defensive.
let us know how you get on

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jaclynb · 17/02/2008 16:17

The're not in. I've left a message to ring me when they get back home.

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stepfordwife · 17/02/2008 16:19

agree with edam
only asked their ages becuase presumed they were teeangers with an appalling lack of education (not that that would make it all right, of course).
really hope she listens and, more importantly, they STOP

colditz · 17/02/2008 16:20

Do make it clear, won't you, that if the HV notices any symptom of shaken baby syndrome, Social Services will be informed and they may well lose that baby.

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