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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Parents of 3 + children - please reassure me

27 replies

PetitFilou1 · 05/02/2008 11:54

that life doesn't end. I have an almost 4 year old ds, 2.5 dd and am nearly 3 months pg with no3. I have worked part time since having both previous children.

I am happy to be having a third but slightly terrified (I am 36 this year). Will I still be able to have a life (eventually)?
My friend has just written to me about how she is moving on with her life/doing a diploma/going to teach etc I think she is slightly jealous of me but I have to admit to feeling a bit envious of her too!

OP posts:

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madness · 05/02/2008 11:54

life? what life?

scorpio1 · 05/02/2008 11:56

i have 2 of my own and a dss, and am 30 weeks.

You can still do the same stuff as your friend y'know i'm in the porcess of finishing my degree.

Of course we will get our lives back - dss and myy ds1 are at school - FT - the change is amazing.

madness · 05/02/2008 11:57

although i do remember some days where we went to a soft play, 2 older ones playing the whole day (10 am till 5pm...) and dc 3 sleeping and me reading a novel and drinking capucinos.

hana · 05/02/2008 11:58

when dd3 was born, dd1 was 5 and dd2 was 18months. Fast forward 16 months and I am v v tired, some nights I go to bed at 830 but the girls are fab! Love having 3. I do have a life, went back to work (have always worked ) 2 days a week. Have to say social life is mostly outside of dh's - it just works out that way (going out during week with girlfriends) Good days and bad days of course. Had dd3 when I was 36.

it will be fine!

madness · 05/02/2008 12:00

dc does just tagg along. and yes, of course you can work with 3 dc. but am jalous of childless friends who are travelling around the world...

PeatBog · 05/02/2008 12:01

have dds 5, 3 and 1. have just got life back, with much juggling. it will be fine. you will live by lists.

TheHonEnid · 05/02/2008 12:02

dd3 is nearly 2

have a fab fulfilled busy life but hairy legs and chipped toenails

c'est la vie

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 05/02/2008 12:04

I am a SAHM and have no life that doesn't involve anything to do with the house and/or kids. I am hoping the hard years we are having now will be worth it in the future and they had better give me loads of Grand Children! Mine are almost 7, 4 and a half and 2 and a half.

pukkapatch · 05/02/2008 12:06

you can have a life. depending on your family circumstances. the support structure around you.
but, quite frankly, with three under five, its easier to stay in for a few years.

hana · 05/02/2008 12:12

enid, I shaved my legs on the weekend for first time in ages. feels v slinky (go do it.....!)

PetitFilou1 · 05/02/2008 12:16

Thanks for the quick replies, you've (SOME of you!) made me feel better!

Have never had much of a support structure (my mum is a high flying career woman) so I suspect you are right pukkapatch especially as dh is an RAF doctor and likely to be deployed for six weeks a year in the next couple of years.

HonEnid can cope with hairy legs (usually have those) but the make up has to stay!

Peatbog aarrgh lists I HATE lists. Needless to say my dh loves them.

I am not jealous of childless friends travelling round the world, as been there done that met my dh!

OP posts:

Nbg · 05/02/2008 12:18

Since having my ds2 9 weeks ago, lists have become my best friend!

Having 3 is hard work at times but its lovely too.

Flum · 05/02/2008 12:24

Ammm vvvvvvery interested in this as we are just embarking on project #3, not sure if we will be lucky though, no joy last month.

Am v. scared though will not have the lung strength to yell at 3 kids.

DH very relaxed about it, but then he always said - have as many as you like my darling, 'as long as you look after them'.

mrbojangles · 05/02/2008 12:33

Hi Petit, Ive got 4ds and I remember well the panic of expecting my third and fourth and wondering if I'd cope or have any time to myself.......... and I did cope even if it did mean cutting loads of corners-which is a must! You are at the most demanding time at the moment being pregnant will v.small children but all of that improves as they get a little older and more independant (regular nursery and school). Enjoy it! where possible and hang in there with the rest. I have always made a point of going out with my girlfriends and other than the hangover the following day with small screaming children it always does me the world of good. Congrats on your pregnancy!

madness · 05/02/2008 12:34

but "been there done that", would you not want to see more and more??? Travelling used to be my favotite thing, but find it too much of a hassle nowadays. Also dh is not that keen but whenever I have a chance to go abroad work wise I love it (but had to decline some trips as dh couldn't cope with 3 dc for too long....)

PetitFilou1 · 05/02/2008 12:37

Madness no - I am looking forward to going with dh in our 50s though when the children are older and off doing their own thing - and staying in more deluxe accommodation. I never was a natural backpacker

OP posts:

PetitFilou1 · 05/02/2008 12:38

Flum
I am afraid I know I DO have the lung strength - that's the trouble!

OP posts:

TheHonEnid · 05/02/2008 12:42

I still manage make up every day thank the lord

and I occasionally smile when not peering anxiously for dd3

hana · 05/02/2008 12:42

dh is in his 50s and dd3 will only be 9
sigh
will have to wait for our 60s to get back to our prechildren travels...

hana · 05/02/2008 12:42

dh is in his 50s and dd3 will only be 9
sigh
will have to wait for our 60s to get back to our prechildren travels...

madness · 05/02/2008 12:44

well, my dad who is now 80 y old travels around quite a bit (China, South Africa etc), certainly not the back packer style. He had 4 children...

Fennel · 05/02/2008 12:45

I think the moving on/taking up exciting new interests/stunning career progression/enviable exotic holidays which aren't utterly dominated by shrieking and screeching does take a lot longer, the more children you have.

I think I DO have a good life with 3 small children - and not all child-dominated, I love my job, I go out a lot socially - but there are many times when I ache with envy for the dynamic lives of my less fettered friends with no children or one child.

which is unreasonable and unfair of me as I chose 3 and would choose it again.

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madness · 05/02/2008 12:46

dh and I are in our 40s...with dc 1 y old, sigh

Nemoandthefishes · 05/02/2008 12:46

I have a ds 4.4yrs,dd1 2.2yrs and dd2 13mths[today] it is hard but wouldnt say we particularly miss out. I think it would have been just as hard with one as three. We dont have any family who look after them which can be a strain if like at the minute they and you are all sick at the same time. However in the general day to day its quite lovely.

madness · 05/02/2008 12:48

and childless friends don't have this dilemma: I've got to go to work in 10 min time, dc is sleeping in my arms, she has got dh (washed) pants around her neck..and got to drop her of at the nursery.

Flip

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