maybe this shoudl be in teenagers, but he is only ten, and has been a right little f***er today.

[pukkapatch]

watched tv all morning whilst i was out, (getting my hair coloured. what a wonderful mummy i am) dh was working from home, so was perfectly content to have them glued to telly.
when i came home, i asked them to stop watching tv. he is having an op on monday, so i reminded him he will be at home allll next week when he wont be allowed out the house, and will be able to watch telly 24/7 then. to please either go out and play with neighbour down the road, or play in garden with siblings.
little sod through a tantrum, which became progressivley worse. at the end he was locked in the toilet, and coming out to either unplug the vacuum cleaner, i was trying to clean the car, or chuck thigns at me. dh was being a right git i felt and not backing me up enough. eventually the little sod walked out the door, having spent more than an hour locked in a tiny little toilet, went out walkies on his. own. grrr... thats what i wanted him to do in the first place. he might actually have ejoyed himself.
i amnow studiously ignoring him. as not reallyl sure what else to do. oh, and i have hidden his psp.

[MaureenMLove]

I have no words of advise, since I have a dd of a similar age and similar tantrums! I am simply going to sigh with you! Life was so much simpler when they were having 2 year old tamtrums eh?

[pukkapatch]

exactly! when i would tell him then that he wasnt ot hit mummy, i could forgive him so easily......but today he actually succeeded in hurting me. i was actually worried that i would be hurt rather badly and bleed,and would then need treating. if htat happened i really wouldnt want him to have to deal with the fact that he hurt his mummy so badly. he is a good little soul inside, but just behave slike a vicious little monster now....

dont know what to do. he has actually come in and apologised. but i am still ignoring him. am i being the childish one now?

[MaureenMLove]

Its a bloody minefield. I try really hard to understand that its an age which is full on angst and hormones raging in their little heads, but it doesn;t make it any easier. If an adult spoke to me, like dd does sometimes I would tell them firmly to F off and knock them out!

Maybe a chat, now that he's calm and he has apologied, to explain why is behaviour wasn't acceptable. Tell him you understand that he's got lots going on in his little mind, but everything you say is because you love him and you don't deserve to be treated like this. Do you think maybe, he's worried about the op?

[pukkapatch]

no, i dont think he is thingkin gabout the op to o much. but he has recentlybeen incredibly stressed by the eleven plus exams he has taken, particularly by dh stress. so i think that is now ociming out.
okie, i will go talk to him now. dh has banished him to his room, having told him off, but not wiht the righ temphasis, iyswim.

[MaureenMLove]

Year 6 was a complete nightmare for us too. She's 12 now (oldest in the year, so only year 7) Just imagine how much he must be thinking about. He's done the 11+, but he doesn't know the result yet and he knows its getting ever closer to March. He knows that by the end of the year he won't be with some of his mates at school. He's thinking about being a small fish in a big pond again. It all adds up to not being very happy. I know if I had that much going on, I'd be pretty miserable. However, that does not excuse bad behaviour towards the people that love you the most. It is a sad fact though, that they'll take it out on you! Good luck. It'll all end happy, I'm sure!

[pukkapatch]

than k you for you r advice.
i had a calm chat with him. told im exactly what we discussed. he seems to be fine now. and apologetic, but dh has grounded him. so no idea how that iwll work.

[rantinghousewife]

It sounds like a normal 10 year old boy growth spurt, ds always used to get like this just before he grew.
Apparently it's quite common for boys to get like this due to surge of hormones and it can happen from an early age too.

[pukkapatch]

you guys ar emaking me feel so normal. i thought we were just incredibly dysfunctional family. and that i would get flamed for allowing this violence to happen in my home.

[rantinghousewife]

It IS totally normal, although I never knew this until a nurse friend of mine explained it to me.
I naively assumed that only girls got hormone surges but, after she told me that I started noticing that it always happened just before he shot up another inch or so. And now I can spot the signs and I do tend to handle it better now because I know what it is.

[Divastrop]

i didnt know that either!

my 10 year old son has been going through phases for about 18 onths where he will be great for a while then start being a little git again,having hissy fits and speaking to me like im a piece of shit,as well as being aggressive towards the others.

i ahve been invited to do a course of 'play therapy' with him,though,as he has been to a child psychologist etc about his behaviour and anxiety problems-which are mainly down to my crappy parenting of him.

its a shame that you never believe people who tell you to make the most of baby/toddlerhood 'cos they get worse as they get older' untill its too late!

[WideWebWitch]

Sympathy, my 10yo is hard work atm

[pukkapatch]

this is what we need more discussions about on mn. not sodding baby lead weaning etc.