How do we get DS to want to go swimming - he is terrified???

[Twinkie1]

Right Girls and Boys - DS will not go swimming - he has just turned 3 and we have never really taken him because when he was young the chlorine used to irritate his excema - now that is somewhat under control we feel that we should start him with some lessons - I don't know where to start though - should I get him private one on one lessons or join a class where he can see other kids enjoying it but probably go beserk and be able to embarrass me greatly?

I have to tackle this sooner rather than later - normally we go on holidays where there is a pool but not this year and next year he will start school where they do swimming as part of the curriculum once a week!

Many thanks in anticipation.

[MamaG]

I'd take him myself, to "fun" sessions to get him used to the water befroe I considered any type of formal lesson

[jellybeans]

Mine were terrified too. I started taking them when they were 3 in the local pool just for splashing around etc. They also went on holidays etc. They started group lessons at 4 and screamed the place down for about 3 weeks. I had to lower them in one week but there are people in the water teaching them who comforted them (although once DT1 cried the whole lesson!) I have seen many screamers since and all seem to settle within a couple of weeks. For me, not swimming was not an option (I know some don't believe in 'making them go' ) They cried at playgroup too but soon settled. Mine like it now (although are not keen on the deep end) and go to lessons no probs. Good luck.

[mistlethrush]

With ds we go to swimming lessons, so can't help you from that point of view - however, the baby pool at the local centre is now just OK for him to touch the bottom. If we get in early at the beginning of a session it is also nice and quiet - you might find a similar situation near you?

If you havn't really done much swimming with him, how do you know he is terrified? Also, be careful that you're not passing on your expectation of him being terrifed on to him - its amazing how they fulfil our expectations for them!

Ds does love swimming, although he went through a spell of not wanting to go as he thought I'd make him go under the water. We got round this by me promising that I wouldn't make him go under - instead, he dipped himself under - for him, giving him the control over what he did helped.

I don't know whether any of this will help - but good luck anyway!

[witchandchips]

don't do lessons, just take him to your local pool and just get him used to being in the water. If all he does the first time is sit on the side and splash then thats okay. He will do more next time. - don't worry about arm bands or anything at this stage, just get him used to walking in and out of the pool

[suzywong]

why does he have to want to go swimming?

He's' got 9 months to get to grips with it if he starts at school in September. Cut him, and yourselves some slack and don't sweat it.

[ChippyMinton]

I took my DC in the pool from a very early age, and they love the water. Two of them hate lessons though.
I'd check out the local pools first and find one that has a warm, shallow training pool, that shelves or has borad steps, so your DS can get into the water at his own pace. Maybe buy some armbands with a favourite character on? (some here with free p&P)
Agree that you need to be calm and encouraging, and be prepared to have short sessions to start with.
Good luck.

[ChippyMinton]

broad steps

[Twinkie1]

Thanks guys - the few times we have gone he has just screamed as soon as we put hi in the wate - mind you that it at our gym and the water is not terribly warm - maybe I will get the armbands for him and find a local pool that has a small teaching pool that is warmer and shallower for him.

Will update you on our progress - not swimming is not an option not only for school but for his own safety, I think all children should be able to swim.

DH is not the greatest swimmer in the world and his resounding memory of swimming lessons at school was being the last one to be able to swim the width of the pool - he still feels a let down about it now! He even looks out of place in the bath!

I am part fish I think it comes natuarlly to me as it does DD and I hope one day DS can come swimming with us and find it fun and not a trial!

[PrettyCandles]

If you go for lessons, go for one-to-one, with a teacher you feel will be sympathetic. Children will do things for others that they will not do for their parents, and the novelty may well over-ride the fear.

Find a pool with, if possible, a beach pool (broad, shallow steps are the next best option) so that he doesn't actually have to get all the way into the water to play with it. Baby pools are good, because they are warmer than ordinary pools. Take a couple of bath toys with you and just sit in or by the water with him - taking your lead from him - and play with the toys. Don't make him go in for at least the first 2 or 3 visits. Also go middle of the day, when it is quietest.

Take your time with him. The cause of the fear may not necessarily be the water. Ds1 loved swimming, then suddenly took against it at about 18m. Eventually we realised that the noisy environment upset him dreadfully, and he was extending that fear to the whole activity of swimming.

[mistlethrush]

I've had another thought too - try to get as ready as possible for swimming before you go - you at least changed under clothes - the whole changing process can take so long that if he's worried about what is coming he'll have even more time to get anxious...

[slng]

Agree with PrettyCandles: I took DS1 along to the local swimming pool three times before he would dip his toes in the shallow end. I think it's the noise that bothered him. After a few weeks though, he is happy to try to blow bubbles in the water and paddle a bit if I held onto him. (A bribe of going to the cafe after swimming has nothing to do with anything, I'm sure!) Still it's usually a lovely outing and the only thing that I don't like is all that changing which takes a few trips to perfect. (During potty-training I even managed to pack a potty ...)

[emmaagain]

Gym pool quite likely a good idea because it'll be quiet.

Take him with no expectation of going in the water. Look at the waves, and the rainbow colours of the light falling on them. Dip your toes in. Paint the floor tiles with water.

Maybe Mum go in for a bit, and just chat to him from in the water.

Rubber rings can feel more secure than armbands, or do lots of armband wearing in the bath.

Encourage him to stand by the steps and put his foot on the top one, or even the next one, but without forcing.

Just watch his confidence gradually go, without forcing anything. Maybe take some favourite plastic toys to go for a little swim and he can join in from the edge.

Patience. It will come. But putting a screaming child into the water against their will is a GREAT way to set them up to have a mild phobia of water for the rest of their life.

[emmaagain]

Oh, plus,

there's a Maisy episode with swimming in (on Maisy Splash)

and several Kipper ones, though I can't remember which DVDs - the one where Tiger is all worried because he hasn't got his water wings

the wiggles do plenty of swimming at Wiggle Bay, and there's the bit in Top of the tots where they sing "let's go swimming, swimming at the pool. Let's go swimming, water's Oh so cool".

I watch too many children's programmes (regardless of whether or not there are any children in the room...)