Music Club Dilemna (complicated, sorry)

[lljkk]

DS is 8yo, y3.
His school just started an after-school music club, trying to form a band DS to play guitar. 20 minute lesson included in the £3/week fee, but inconvenient for me if he goes running back & forth to school all afternoon.

DS came out one day saying he didn't want to go with music club to the evening carol concert (for all ks2, attendance not compulsory, at least I think not).
So I dropped a note thru to music club teacher to say we wouldn't pay for 2 sessions because he didn't want to do the evening concert.
But he still had to rehearse with all KS2. One rehearsal he sat with the other guitarists, playing Jingle Bells (which he likes and was competent enough at). The next rehearsal the music club teacher said "Well if you aren't coming tonight, go sit over there" -- with the kids singing "12 Days of Christmas" which I realise now is what he found really tedious.

DS did as he was told but came home cross, says that he was "butted out" of music club, he doesn't want to go again. DH & I feel the teacher was unfair, no harm in DS rehearsing with other guitarists. DS says he's embarrassed at the idea of me speaking to music club teacher, though.

DS doesn't do any other regular after school activities, I feel bad if he's quitting over something so petty... then again, he rarely sustains interest in anything so probably he would find another reason to quit soon.

Do I forget about it or do something to get DS to go back to the club?

[lljkk]

Y'all think I'm being a bit precious, don't you ?

[snorkle]

You think he should have sat with the music club for a rehearsal when he wasn't going to be at the performance and presumably hadn't been practising for either (as he'd not been to the two practise sessions)? It sounds form what you've written that rather than being butted out he butted himself out when he said he didn't want to do it. He probably just didn't realise the consequences of saying he wouldn't do it at the time (ie he'd still have to do the rehearsals but wouldn't have a proper role) I'm sure if he goes back now it will be back to normal, so I'd encourage him to do that. If he won't then maybe he wanted to leave anyway & is using the concert as an excuse.

[lljkk]

Oh that would be fair enough, Snorkle, but when he was told to go sit with the carol singers he hadn't actually missed any practis sessions yet (I think). Or maybe 1 at most; which was supposed to be the same day as the after-school Xmas fair so I don't think it was on at all, but I didn't try to find out, either. And one other day a few weeks earlier when he had been ill.

Thanks for reading it all, anyway. I think I have so many other things to worry about I'll let it go.

[UniS]

The kids who WERE playing guitar in the concert needed to know what it was going to be like for them on the night. They needed to reherse with out an extra player who wouldn't be there for the concert. They needed to know how far apart they would be and what they would sound like. rehersals are for performers.
Its a tough leson to learn but at 8 hes going to have to start learning it. he's not always teh most important person in a group, sometimes the needs of others will take precedence over his pleasure. If he wants to takle part in a music group that perform he will have to get used to submitting to teh displine of rehersals.
I've just spent the last week providing technical suport to a seris of school gym and dance shows. There were some pretty small primary kids performing in same show as olympic gymnasts, all needed self displine and rehersal.

[lljkk]

I take your points, UniS.
It'll never happen, though, lol DS is naturally talented at lots of things like he could easily join the swimming club and start competing later this year, for instance, another children swimming at technically a much more advanced level has commented how fast a swimmer DS is -- but self-discipline he's very weak on. Shame, and annoying to me because I'm naturally very self-disciplined, but I guess most people aren't so I have to just let DS be whatever he is.