Does anyone else get bored?

[jay9]

I have a 15 month old DD who is pretty settled now and mostly in a sensible routine so there's time most days where she's just happy playing. And I get so bored being around the house all day. There's only so much i can do while she's awake really and i don't want to spend my days doing housework so I find myself sitting in the lounge with the TV on feeling brain-dead and fed up. I've started doing knitting again which helps but I feel so limited and bored a lot of the time. There's only so many times you can go to the shops etc. I don't want to go back to work as I want to stay at home with her and I go to a toddler group twice a week.

Any inspiration or words of wisdom out there.

thanks

[LoveMyGirls]

Have you got any friends who can come round for the odd cuppa or come with you to places? it's always much more fun when you're not alone.

Plan to go out at least once a day even if it is a wlak to the park to feed the ducks or to town to window shop or a trip on a bus or swimming, I bet your dd would love swimming and getting her used to water is always a good idea.

[webchick]

Yes I know what you mean and daytime TV is awful. I actually find going to the park dreadfully boring, so instead take my LO on trips out in the buggy/on bus/train; the change of scene is better than staying indoors. I have to stay away from lots of shops otherwise I spend too much. I do a baby group once a week and see a few friends on other days and generally go about my adult life but with him along-side...library, checking out local places on interest, I took him for a walk around the local cemetary just for some fresh air. I find too many specific and planned baby activities stifling. This is not a great time of year to venture out given the weather and short afternoons but nothing ventured nothing gained.

[inthegutter]

Without wishing to say anything controversial or starting the old WOHM/SAHM debate.... why are you so against going out to work when you're clearly bored and understimulated at home? I know I would have been the same as you... loved my babies to bits but needed a life outside the home as well. The fact that you're succumbing to mind numbing daytime telly is a sure sign that you need more going on! It's also easy to slip into thinking that you 'have' to do toddler centred stuff - playgroups/toddler gym/coffee mornings etc when for many people these are hellish! I much preferred a brisk walk in the fresh air than sitting through mums and toddler group! It strikes me that you mention your toddler is very happy playing,and she sounds a contended child who copes with routines, so maybe she would benefit from nursery or whatever while you work too?

[moondog]

Gutter has a point.I found being home so tedious that couldn't muster energy to do (or even enjoy) all the stuff i said i would do.
However,now that I work, I treasure our time together and plan accordingly. Am taking a half day next week to take my 3 year old to a playgroup and am really looking forward to it,which I didn't when a sahm.

[oneplusone]

Yep, I get very very very bored too...search for some of my previous threads on this topic.

No answers, i just get through one day at a time, always go out every day and meet friends but I still find it very very boring.

I want to stay at home as even though I'm bored stiff my kids don't know that and they are so happy and secure and are growing and developing amazingly and I don't want them to put them in childcare because I can't handle a bit of boredom. Their needs come first and I get some 'me' time at the weekends and that keeps me going. Once they're both at school/playgroup (11 months to go!) I'll have some real time to myself and plan on starting a course in interior design, something I've always wanted to do.

It's tough but my children are all the happier for being with me pretty much 24/7 for their first few years of life and for me that is all the reason i need to stick with it.

I do moan to DH a lot but somehow manage to carry on!

[BroccoliSpears]

I would find being at home with a toddler and the tv very boring too, so I don't do it. We have the option of an activity of some sort every morning (toddler group, swimming, gym minis, music group - all either free or very cheap) and we often see friends in the afternoon, either meeting in town or at a museum cafe or park cafe for a walk and a bun, or go to people's houses, or invite everyone back here. We also do stuff together, just the two of us, sometimes boring (supermarket shop) and sometimes more fun (zoo).

I'm aware that this is not the most intellectually stimulating existance and wouldn't suit everyone, but for me, for now, it works.

[Acinonyx]

I'm envious that your dd plays on her own. Mine is 2.4 and never has really - always needs me to 'join in' ie. pay close attention. Can't really get away with anything else without much wailing and tugging. If I could, I'd read - but dd takes the book off me to 'read like mummy' and that's the end of that.

Not a SAHM now but was and still do 2 days/week. Always done as broccoli does - home or outing in the am, friends with tots in the afternoon, sometimes at softplay. I love wildlife parks and zoos so we go there as often as I can afford - about twice a month. Totally cannot sit and watch dd play in the house all day (and she wants to go out too). Sometimes feel guilty when it is boring - but it really is sometimes.

[ceebee74]

Oh I so agree - I work 3 days a week and I struggle to not to get bored and think of different things to do with DS on the 2 days I don't work (I don't count weekends as SH is there to help with the 'entertaining'!).

I really resisted going back to work at first but had to go back when DS was 7 months old and, now he is 16 months, I realise that I could not be a SAHM as I would have felt exactly as you do. When he was younger and before I went back to work, it was so much easier as I could read a book, surf MN etc while he led on his gym/bouncy chair plus he slept more during the day aswell but now, as another poster has said, he wants me to 'join in' with him at all times, read him books constantly, so I can't really do anything of my own. (I also think DH might have been teaching him to stop me MN'ing during the day as the minute I set foot in the office where the PC is, DS will stand at the door and cry until I stop )

But on the flip side, I also want him to realise that some days you do just stay at home and don't go out so that he doesn't expect to be 'entertained' with soft play, playgrounds etc every single day - if that makes sense.

[LoveAngelGabriel]

Hi jay9.
(I haven't read all the replies, so sorry if I'm repetitive).

Firstly, are you going back to work any time soon? If so, you won't be bored for much longer!

If not, I think now would be a good time for you to really make an effort to start getting a bit of a social scene going on for you and your LO. Toddler groups, playgroups, baby singing, storytime at the library etc -all organised activities are great ways to get out of the house and meet other mums. I resisted the whole toddler group thing for ages because I thought it 'wasn't me' but have finally done it and it has improved our daily life so much. Also, on days when I'm feeling knackered, if I get my little one out in the morning to a toddler rgoup, I don't feel so guilty about watching a bit of Tv or reading the papers in the afternoon - and I really appreciate that time.

[Acinonyx]

Ceebee - I sometimes think about that too - that dd should get used to being home all day. Trouble is - I can't stand it!

[Yorky]

This is really reassuring, I am SAHM with 10month old and there are days when I can't wait for his Dad to get in so I get a break. We have just found out we're moving in three weeks so am planning to start lots of activities after Christmas, but atm life is pretty quiet and slow.

[mrsgboring]

I'm SAHM with my 2 year old and it is the best thing for him. Most of the time I love it, but am going through a mind-numbingly bored patch right now. DS used to need me so much, I couldn't get anything done. Now he wants me to hang around while he plays independently and what I should be doing is the dishes, tidying, cleaning etc. but I didn't take time off work to be a housewife so I really resent feeling guilty about household chores. I think I need another baby.....

What keeps me sane most of the time is activities - I have something structured to do every day except Fridays, and I find it really helps to have a routine of activities so you're not constantly thinking "What can I do today?" It's more, it's Tuesday, so it's soft play day etc.

Good music classes are good for the mummy brain drain as you get to learn all sorts of new songs and the ones I go to the learning curve is actually quite a challenge - 3 repetitions and you're expected to be word and tune perfect LOL. I'm also doing bits and bobs of Open University, supposedly on some committees for church and charity, but sometimes I find these dispiriting because I'm not doing them properly.

Sometimes try to make myself recite DS's books from memory, to keep brain alive and it means I always have story at the bus stop. Am thinking of trying to learn the art of storytelling, as I think it would be a fab thing to do and quite a challenge for me. I also try and play the oboe and DS doesn't mind me honking along to a piece of music for 20 mins or so once in a blue moon.

Find it hardest when I'm trying to give DS a peaceful day. He'd love to stay in 24/7 and play with his toys, but I go bonkers after half a day and have to get out.

Inviting and visiting other mummy friends is great too, but beware you don't get someone latching onto you who is using your house as a place for toddlers to trash AND you have to make tedious conversation with her too. Sad to have to write this as all my friends are lovely bar one who is very persistent and quite shameless about inviting herself round.

[Tapster]

What age do they do more independent play - is there light at the end of the tunnel? My DD turned one and currently needs me to be at least staring at her while she plays but I often have to join in. My trousers get pulled when I try and do any housework I would actually like to do some!

[millie865]

Spending all day alone with a toddler can be boring. I love the days I spend with my DD but would go out of my mind if we didn't have different activities to do each day. Like a lot of the other posters I try to make sure we get out to something (play group/singing/swimming/meeting friends at the park) every day. I mainly do things where I can talk to other adults while she plays

At the moment it is dark by the time my daughter wakes up from her nap so our afternoons are usually spent at home. I'm probably a bit sad but I tend to plan out what we are going to do then too - one day it might be cooking, the next painting or sticking. If she prefers something else then my plan isn't stuck in stone, but at least I have an idea of what I am aiming for. In the summer we go for long walks, play in the garden stuff like that.

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

see i am a SAHM of 2 (dd age 3 now does preschool 2 afternoons a week) and i find it so boring.

but at the same time i love it and wouldnt want to go back to work.

i think the problem i have is im fighting PND so when i cant be arsed i cant be arsed and it jsut seems awful!! but when iv got the energy to do stuff with them its great.

as said before its compounded by not being able to drive (also learning) and im a single mum on benefits so have very little spare cash to do clubs (mini gym, tumbletots, etc etc. that the kids would enjoy)

i think everything is made even worse by the fact iv only spent a month on my own so far and there is no let up like i used to get, oh its so depressing!

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

oh and no garden, so if we want to play out it involves a military operation!

[foxythesnowman]

Good God Yes! No-one tell you before, do they? 6 years and 4 children later, its still frequently boring. I spent a good couple of years 'networking' and now have a core group of really good friends who have also had more children, so all our siblings are friends too. My social life is now predominately (actually, totally) during the day, going to each others house for lunch or a brew. The children get on, we can hang-out.
It makes a big difference.

Its boring, I am frequently totally submerged under laundry, there's another nappy to change/bottom to wipe and I can't face anymore meal planning.

Wouldn't change it though!

[foxythesnowman]

'tells'. my brain has obviously suffered too!

[Othersideofthechannel]

I haven't known what you are experiencing Jay9 because my DS was like Tapster's DD, wanted me to watch or join in all the time. But I got bored of that on many occasions. It's the repetitiveness.

I am envious that your DD is so independent (would love to sit down and read the paper or my novel personally). Obv you can't knit all the time, can you find another hobby that you can do at home as well, preferably one you can't do while watching TV. That way you could alternate. Or as someone else said, have another baby.

Tapster, DS got much better at playing by himself somewhere between 3 and 4. He always had to be in the same room as me before so I usually got him involved in the housework so it was an activity for him. Give child a duster, clothes pegs to pass to you etc.

[scouserabroad]

I agree with the people who said have another baby... DD1 is 17 months, DD2 6 weeks, there's just no time to be bored!

Seriously, it was a bit boring being at home, so I started an accounting course (online). OK so accounting isn't that exciting either, but at least it's a challenge, which was what I wanted. Plus it will help when I go back to work, whenever that is.