DS, 12, off school today even though he's not really poorly enough to need to stay at home. Your thoughts please.

[Threadworm]

My ds, aged 12, has a good school attendance record - only one or two days off a year.

This morning he woke up feeling tired and grumpy and said he was unwell. I think he was genuinely feeling a bit grotty but that he would have perked up enough to cope with school.

He's coming into his temper-ridden teens and I was worried that if I became very authoritarian, the issue would have escalated into a row.

So I left it to his judgement and let him stay home. I'm hoping that by being softly softly I will encourage him to take responsibility for continuing good attendance. I'm afraid that if I am too harsh in this respect he will become defiant and it will always be me, rather than his own conscience, that enforces attendance.

THose of you with kids around the same age, what do you think would have been the right thing to do?

[Blandmum]

I run a 'too ill for school? To ill to do anything else' policy.

So far it works

[bran]

My Mum always used to say that if I was sick enough to be off school then I was sick enough to need to stay in bed all day. So no lounging on the sofa watching tv or whatever. It was very dull.

You could always help him to improve his immune system whenever he has a day off school by getting him to take the vilest herbal supplements possible. There are some really revolting teas and tinctures available.

[irises]

I'm the same as MB. Ds has one or two days off sick a year. Last time his dad took psp, ps2, Nintendo and remote for telly and locked them up .

Apparently it was so dh wouldn't get a headache.

Respec' to my dh. DS back at school next day.

[MaryAnnSingleton]

I have a friend whose dcs are off school every so often because they feel 'ill' or are tired or something and I always feel that she is a bit indulgent with them - ds,fortunately is seldom poorly and would have to be half dead before admitting he was feeling unwell - so is always in school.I'm not sure what I'd do if he chose to take a day off, so not especially helpful to you.

[Threadworm]

Good idea. But lying around on the settee doing nothing seems to be his preferred state of being quite a lot of the time these days. This is quite uncharacteristic for him. Perhaps it is to do with approaching puberty.

I've told him he has to do his homework and read his current English text.

[Threadworm]

Sorry, that last was to MB. Other responses also helpful. I should stop him watching any telly I think. Will turn it off now.

[Lazycow]

Well my mother was always Ok with me if I wanted to stay off school occasionally at this age. Probably because I was pretty concientious generally. I think if your child usually works hard and does well at school the odd suvet day seems fine to me. Us adults do it very occasionally too.

[Lazycow]

I meant duvet not suvet

[juuule]

I don't think it does any harm now and again. I think it can do them good. I wouldn't necessarily ban the tv, etc either as it's part of relaxing.

[claricebeansmum]

Same as MB.
If you are ill then you are in bed. End of story. If you are not in bed then you are at school.

[mmelody]

I think its fine if only occasionally. I have certainly had a few days off work in the past year when I have not been ill but just not felt like going in. My DD who is 12 has had an occasional day out of school with a vague headache that is gone by 10am! Its a rarity and does no harm. Its good to get off the wheel and do nothing now and again.

[roisin]

I think I would have been stricter tbh, and sent him to school. (My ds1 is only 10, but I work in a secondary school.)

DS1 came home from school exhausted today, and said he was not feeling well enough to go to swimming club training session. (He was fine, just tired after a busy week at school. I gave him a choice - pyjamas and bed, or swimming club.)