telling your child about sex and how would you feel if another child told yours about sex?

[Pollyanna]

I am pregnant and ds (8) has asked about how I got pregnant. dh told him and was very open and non-euphemistic about it. BUT he has told him that he can't talk about it at school.

Is this right? I wonder whether this would make ds think that there is something secretive/improper about sex. dh says that other parents would not want their children to discusss sex at school, particularly if they haven't told them themselves.

[Blandmum]

I told dd when she was a tad younger than 8, as she asked me. I made it clear to her that this was something that you discussed with your mum and dad, and not with friends in the playground. Not because it was rude, but just because it was something that parents would want to discuss first

She was fine about it, and we still have a very open relationship about sex!

[screaminghousewife]

Yes totally agree with MB, ds first asked at around 5 when one of my friends got pg. He was so untraumatised by the experience that he forgot and I had to explain again a couple of years later.
He's now 14 and totally unembarrassed about the subject of sex, just tell him the truth, that other peoples' mums and dads would probably prefer to tell their dcs themselves.

[Moomin]

Am I being naive or do most 8 year olds have a basic knowledge of this anyway? If they don't I think they should! (the biology part of it at any rate)

[Pollyanna]

moomin, that's what I thought - ds hasn't shown an interest before now, but I thought other children would already know by 8. (my 6 year old also knows now!)

[MorticiasMother]

All kids talk about sex at school, didn't you?

I think if you tell kids something and then ask them not to tell anyone else, you are making that thing almost something to be ashamed of, like a dirty secret. Sex is an act of love and should be discussed openly and appropriately with children. My dd is now 7 and she knows where babies come from and how they are made. She asked and I answered honestly. If she hadn't asked I wouldn't have told her, only by their questions do you know that they are ready for the answers.

If she tells other children at school then so what? She's also told them about Jesus! I can't stop her from talking about issues that are important to her and neither would I want to. Likewise she comes back with things like "xxx says there is no God and the world was made with a big bang!" or "xxx says babies come out of bellybuttons!" Parents expect their kids to come back with playground tales, it's all part of being at school!

[perpetualworrier]

How times have changed!

I remember being told what "having it off" meant, by another child when I was about 9. I didn't believe him - it just seemed like such a stupid thing to do.

Shows children have always talked about it in the playground though, even if they don't always get it right :

[RosaTransylvania]

I worked on the assumption with mine that if I didn't tell them the facts quite young they would get a distorted version in the playground anyway. I didn't specifically tell them not to tell their friends but I was a bit nervous about irate mums - DD2 can be particularly frank about stuff.
Actually Sunday school was pretty funny a couple of weeks ago.
The leader asked if the children could name people who helped them. Various children said doctor, dentist, firefighter, nurse and were asked to explain what these people do to help.
DD2 said Midwife, at which the leader snurked and closed the topic quickly.