Putting 2 to bed without your partner

[Lisa229]

I know loads of parents must do this but so far I have been luck enough that DH is always home for bath and bedtime. DD2 is now 12 wks old and DD1 is 3. DH is starting a job where sometimes he won't be back and I am dreading trying to put them both to sleep. DD2 has always been quie demanding and she is still very unsettled particularly at this time that it has always been easier for one of us to do one each.

So wanted some advice or your experiences of putting both to bed by 7.30pm. We normally give them a bath together at 6.15ish and then I give dd2 her milk in her darkened room and put to sleep and DH reads to DD1 in her room and puts her to bed.

[Carbonel]

When my ds was a baby and dd about 18 mths old we started on bedtime videos when dh was away. I had a TV and DVD player in our bedroom so would curl up on the bed (curtains drawn to darken it a bit) with ds on one arm being fed and dd the other side watching the video with her bottle of milk.

Probably not the best but I found it impossible to read and feed at the same time

We were careful with which videos - Bagpuss and Ivor the engine are gentle, plus Little Miss, Tractor tom, captain pugwash etc

I would then pop ds into his cot and dd into hers in thier dark bedroms and it worked fine. Still tricky now they are older (4 & 6) as they both seem to demand my time first but I just try and take it in turns!

[IndulgeMePlease]

With our 2 and a half year old DD and our 8m old DS I have so far tried the following when DH works late...

1: Feed DS on DDs bed while I read her a story, then kiss her and say goodnight then put DS down

2: Leave DD downstairs watching 'In the NIght Garden' (having thoroughly toddlerproofed the lounge) while I settle DS, then put DD to bed

3: Move them in together to share a room, then read aloud to DD whilst feeding DS, and settle them both at the same time.

All 3 have worked but I prefer having them in the same room. It took a couple of weeks to get the hang of settling them both if one/both were upset, but now they are used to each other being there they seem to sleep better.

Good luck

[TheNappyNipper]

I have a 5 year old DS and an 18 week old DD. My DH woirks away through the week so I hve to do the bedtime routine solo most nights. I usually get them both ready for bed, then we sit on the sofa in DSs room and they both get a story, and DS goes off to bed, usus about 7:30. I then feed DD and put her down just after 8.

That's the theory anyway It doesn't always go smoothly!

[Othersideofthechannel]

I relied on DVDs to keep eldest busy while settling youngest.

[2Happy]

In the early days, I found it easiest keeping ds2 with me while reading ds1's story then putting ds1 to bed, and then settling ds2 while I had my hands free easiest. Nowadays, normally I can just put ds2 in the cot and he self settles, leaving me free to settle ds1.

If dd2 is harder to settle, I'd say do the first - bring dd2 with you to settle dd1, then concentrate on settling dd2. Good luck, it is daunting, and a PITA if ds1's bedtime coincides with ds2's wanting milke/scratting, but you manage. Somehow!

[jaspersslave]

i get both bathed and into jamas together then send ds age 3 down to tv while putting dd 9mnt to bed
seems to work well

[NappiesLaGore]

ahhh, i rememeber that feeling so well... thinking 'how on earth am i going to manage???' and then feeling coz i realised millions of other mothers do it, so why couldnt i??

tbperfectlyh, i dont remember how i got thru those early weeks and months...(amazing how you remember some things, but great swathes of actual detail go right out the window the second you dont need it and move onto a different set of 'issues'!)

suffice to say, i can now confidently bath all 3 little boys (my eldest was 2.5 when my youngest was born so theyre all pretty close in age[understatement]) and put them all to bed pretty smoothly...

sorry not to have more concrete advice for you! but wanted you to know i have every sympathy for your anxiety- been there!

[fatslag]

ds1 4, ds2 14 wks, dh working abroad most of the time at the moment.

1. Bath both of them together, ds2 in a frog thing that supports him and leaves my hands free.
   
2. DS2 out of bath onto changing mat in bathroom for pjs and nappy.
   
3. ds1 out of bath into pjs and off to his room to play "because you're a big boy, you go to bed later"
   
4. feed ds2, kiss, into cot, mobile on, run away
   
5. put toys away with ds1, ds1 into bed, read 2 books, recite "Owl and the Pussy Cat", say good-night.
   
6. Pour large glass of wine, watch crappy TV, eat unsuitable snacks
   
7. MN until eyes glaze over
   
8. Bed
   
   Works every time!

[Highlander]

at this age I would bath them together and get DS2 down slightly ahead of DS1. As I fed DS2 to sleep, DS1 would either stay in the room snuggled beside me or would quietly "read" a book in the hall. I would then take DS1 downstairs for a bit of supper then put him to bed.

I tried TV, it was too stimulating.

[cornflakemummie]

Night Garden works wonders in our house too. DS2 gets bottle and bed (14mths) while DS1 (3) watches TV, then has story time and milkshake while DS2 settles goes up.

However when DS2 was still in a moses basket I would do usual routine for DS1 and just carried DS2 around from room to room with me.

Then used to do story time together and bed together. You just have to change it as they change.

DS3 is due in Feb - Haven't a clue how I'll do it then!!!!

[SpookyBearistheSpookyBear]

My DDs are 9 months and 3.2 years.

I start bathtime at 6pm and then come downstairs with them both in their jammies at about 6.30.

I make them both milk, and DD1 drinks hers in front of Night Garden (volume on fairly low) while I give DD2 her bottle in her sleeping bag. She usually falls asleep and I can just put her down in her cot at about 6.45.

They share a room, so after Night Garden we have books on the living room sofa then teeth and bed by about 7.15.

The key thing has been making sure DD2 doesn't nap too much in the day, to make sure she's tired enough to go to asleep and stay asleep at bedtime. At one point putting DD1 to bed was waking her up.

[Sidge]

I have 3, aged 8, 3 and 12 mths. DH is in the military so I often put them to bed on my own.

I do this:

Take 2 younger ones up with me and run bath etc.

Bath DD2 and DD3 together, DD3 out first and dried and dressed on bathroom floor so I can watch DD2. Then DD2 out, dried and dressed, then into DD2s room for story time.

Stories, then DD2 into bed first as she settles easily.

Then into DD3s room to feed her and put her down.

Then I sort out DD1, tidy up, hoover and dust downstairs then collapse with a snack, drink and the laptop and TV!

[SpawnChorus]

First of all, NappiesLaGore - RESPECT

I've only had to do this once, but it worked fine (much to my surprise). DD is 2.7 and DS is 14 months.

I gave them both a bath (making sure I had nappies and PJs in the bathroom with me). Got them out and in their PJs (DD first then DS). Took DD down to watch 'Cinderella' DVD (specially rented for the occasion lol).

Went up and BFed DS and put him in his cot. When he was asleep, I fetched DD and read her a story and put her to bed.

To my amazement they both zonked out beautifully. (DD was/is going through a phase of being a nightmare to put to bed). I was smugtastic when DH got home.

Actually I lie...I have done on my own on a couple of other occasions when DS was a newborn. He didn't have a bedtime routine and I just lugged him around in a sling.

[hana]

this is when we started using story tapes for dd1 when I was busy feeding and putting dd2 to bed - she would listen in her bed waiting for me to come to her and read her a story - sometimes she'd be asleep, sometimes not when I came back to her

3 years later and we have lots of story tapes/cds and the girls alternate on picking one out to listen to after we've had our stories

[hana]

gawd
5/7 nights I put the 3 girls to bed on my own, am sure there are gazillions of us doing this all over the country!!

[omeN666]

I put mine to bed alone fairly often. They are 4 this week, 21mths and 9mths, I put the girls in first, they have a joint story and then I go to ds who will wait in his room or downstairs.

[PillockInThePumpkin]

I do it alone every night, ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 6 months.
I read a story to ds1 whilst bf ds2, then ds1 helps me tuck ds2 into his bed before going to his own bed.
By involving him in what I'm doing I've found he is quite happy to share me

[hana]

I didn't mean to sound flippant there at all.....sorry

I love the break on the weekends when I am 'off duty'!

[TheBlonde]

I bath and feed DD (6mths) while DS (2.5) watches TV
Pop her in cot
Stick more hot in the bath and bath him
Then stories and bed

When DD was smaller and not settling I stuck her in a bouncy chair in the bathroom for his bath or left her yelling if she started and he was already mid-bath

[Judd]

When DS was a baby, I used to get him out of the bath first, dry and dress him, and then sit him in his bouncy chair while I dealt with DD (2.5 yrs). Then I'd pull DS in his chair into her room and he'd sit there (me rocking chair with foot if he was twitchy) whilst I read DD her bedtime story, bestowed kisses, arranged toys etc. Then I could whizz him off to his room and do his stuff.
Or you could do it the other way round and settle DD2 first. Would DD1 stay downstairs on her own and watch the Bedtime Hour?

[omeN666]

ok will do complete breakfdown of mine

6.20pm reward charts then night garden.
6.50pm all upstairs and into bath for all 3.
7.05pm dd2 comes out first is dried and put in pjs in bathroom, then dd1 comes out take dd2 and dd1 into their room and ds stays in bath for extra 5 mins. I pj dd1 and put them both into bed with milk. Then go to ds get him out dried and pjs on. Back to girls for story while ds either waits in his bed or the past coupld of weeks he has come downstairs to watch transformers cartoon while drinking milk until 7.30pm
7.30pm ds comes to bed, story and thats it.

[Lolabelle]

Haven't read all these so forgive me if i am repeating the others but HAD to respond this is a subjext very close to my heart as my two are the same age as yours and my dh feeds and puts the baby down whilst i deal with the horror of getting my 3 yr old settled off for the night so when my husband threatens to be late i start panicking so what i have recently started doing is feeding the baby with my dd well aware and sort of wandering about her room playing (in her pjs, bathed and ready for bed etc and then when its time to put the baby in the cot i get my 3 yr old to help me by pressing the button on the music & lights projector or i lift her up to help her turn the light off or something small like that an di tip toe out in the manner of a deranged overacting panto extra and we tipote into her bedroom and she has helped mummy and now its her turn for bed and she gets in for a story etc and this is if dh is here or not as the more hands the merrier obviously and he goes down to put the dinner on whilst i finish off with my 3 yr old but it just means that IF he is late i can still follow th e same idea where my 3 yr old helps me - to an extent - and is very quiet and tiptoes everywhere whilst 'we' put abbay to bed and then its her turn. After that I down a bottle of Pinot and fall asleep on the sofa.

[ellitalialea]

not on the subject - anyone need a cleaner? i'm a mom of 2, need extra cash. have an hour and a half free every morning. £7.50/ hour. can cook too if wanted. give me a call on 07976605064.

[ellitalialea]

in bristol by the way!

[pagwatch]

Umm - you might want to get your phone number pulled. this is a public site!
Why don't you get anyone interested to send you a CAB instead