The girl from next door has jsut knocked and said that DS1 kicked her

[saltire]

She says he did a "rolling kick from karate". I have no idea what a rollling kick is, but she says he did it. I got him in and he has had a major strop and says he didn't , that he just roared at her in a "I'm trying to scare you way". I told him to go to his room, for 10 minutes because he was screaming at me that he didn't kick her, he's gone out, just opened the door and gone out, and has gone up to next door girl and said to her that he didn't kick her.
SP what do i do? DH has been away 7hours nad I feel like I'm losing control already. I'm tempted to ignore his behaviour, which is atrocious, but part of me says I should ground him

[pointydog]

Does he go to karate lessons?

If so, they are dead against using karate out of lesson so could you not say you will have to speak to instructor if it happens agaon?

[nell12]

He is testing you because dh is away... plus he is pissed off because his dad has gone and this is how he is sharing those lovely emotions.

Nip it in the bud asap (ie be a complete bitch) or he will be like this whenever his dad goes and then when things have calmed a bit have a quiet chat with him about how he needs to be the man of the house now and how does he think he could do that


Been there... its crap

Have a gin tonight

[roisin]

Have I got this right? You told him to go to his room and he ignored you and went out?

You need to assert yourself now - go out there and tell him to get back inside immediately, and in future not to disobey your instructions. Say it like you mean it, and he will believe you.

How old is he by the way?

[NorthernRockCod]

noaughty boy

go and get him in again
and no tv

[Blandmum]

Don't ignore it!

Or if you do, be prepared for his behaviour to get worse and worse and worse!

It is hard when the dh's are away, but he is pressing to test on this one, and needs to have a shart reminder that you are OC Yourhouse!

ground him/ fine him, and make it hurt. then draw a line under it an move on

[saltire]

pointy - no he doesn't go to karate lessons at all, thats why i don't know what a rolling kick is!
He has come back in again and is in his room. I can tell its going to be a l9ong three weeks, thank goodness DH gets home at weekends.
He is 9, going on 19, attitude soemthing hellish, which has only really developed since we moved down here,

[saltire]

Oh and he is still denying that he did it

[Blandmum]

then ask him why she said this. tell him that you will support him and that you both need to go roud to the girls house and to find out what happened. Wait for an answer. Wait for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg time. Point out that if you find out that he did kick her, he gets a double punishment, once for doing it, and once for lying.

Wait a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggg time again (can you tell I work with teens? )

If you need to take him round, and find out what happened.

If he did it, descend upon him like the wrath of god. No TV, No goodies etc.

nip it in the bud, or things will go from bad to worse.

[WendyWeber]

Well if he doesn't do karate, does she? I mean he wouldn't know what a rolling kick is, presumably?

It is possible that she's just trying to get him into trouble. Does he usually own up when he's done something? If he didn't do it and you're not believing him that would make him mad.

Sit down with him calmly (if you can ) and ask him again what really happened. When I got in a deadlock like this with one of mine I used to have to promise that if they told me the truth I would not shout or punish for it. (It worked sometimes...) mb's thing about waiting quietly for him to answer is very good psychology

Unless there are independent witnesses you're not going to know either way, but he needs to feel he can trust you to support him when he isn't lying - iyswim. (Girls can be very devious.)

[saltire]

She does karate, and the witness was her sister. He wasn't playing with them as far as I'm aware. he was playing foootie up the street with the boy from teh end of the street. This girl hasn't ever come and knocked and said he has done x,y or z before. I've agreed to elt him go out until 6pm as he promises me he hasn't done it,a dn her mother hasn't been round - some of you may recall my threads about the constant shouting and thumpiong and banging thats always emanating from next door,a nd TBH she seems the kind of mother that if her child was crying because someone had hit or kicked her she would be round there like a shot

[WendyWeber]

What does the other boy say? Was he there?

Maybe they wanted DS to play and he wouldn't, or maybe she aimed a kick at him and was afraid she'd get into trouble so this was a pre-emptive strike, or he was rude to them or something so they've done this to get back at him - any of those is possible.

[popsycal]

wendy - i am looking for you

[WendyWeber]

Hi popsy - what for???

[popsycal]

thread in active convs to see which pudding your ds2 made