8 year old DS, temper tantrums and playing alone (long)

[lumpychump]

My son is a young 8 (i.e. was born in August so is always one of, if not the youngest in his school year).

I am not with his father anymore (but he sees him every Saturday) but have been with my partner since DS was 1yr old. We also have a 2.5 year old DD.

DS has always been a bit shy, not clingy though just a bit quiet and of few words sometimes. He went to nursery from 6 months so has always had contact with other kids.

We moved areas 6 months ago and DS started a new school this term. Up until his last year (year 3) in his previous school he was a bit of a loner and tended to play by himself a lot. He grew out of this though and had loads of friends but since starting his new school he has fallen back into this and for the past two weeks, when asked how his day has gone, he says "played on my own again". This upsets me so much. I feel so guilty for having taken him away from his friends when he had just started to settle. He has friends near the house his age but none of them go to the same school.

He has also started being a bit negative (i.e. when told off for pushing over DD he says things like "I'm a stupid boy, I don't deserve anything"). He also gets very irate over things so easily like is he loses as a board game he physically punches the wall and growls until he's red in the face!!

So frustrated about it all really. We always make a fuss of the kids, make time for them, take them places whenever we have days off together.

DS took it upon himself to call my DP 'Daddy' since DD has started talking (we neither encouraged nor discouraged this) but has been told by XP's girlfriend that he shouldn't do this as it upsets his father. Think this is probably confusing him.

Any suggestions on how to reassure him he's a good boy and to make friends in his new school.

I feel sick to my stomach at the moment I'm so worried about him.

[ju]

No real advice lumpy but a sympathetic bump

[lumpychump]

Thank you ju!

[lumpychump]

No-one offer advice?

[Nat1H]

Got a bit confused reading this. Is DS now in a new school in Y4?
Maybe he is stressed at the change of school/friends etc? If he finds it hard to mix anyway, then it will probably take him some time to settle into his new school.
Maybe his negative comments are a way of him telling you how he feels at the moment?
My 6 year old son was very unhappy at school last year - so much so that we moved him 6 weeks before the end of the year, because he couldn't take it any more. He began to be very grumpy, angry, screaming and negative. I was convinced it was a stress reaction, and as soon as we moved him, I was proven right, because he turned back into the happy, smiley boy he was, almost overnight.
Have you asked him how he likes school? Could you speak to the teacher and ask if he/she could find a 'buddy' for your son - someone who will take him under their wing and introduce him to their friends etc?
Good luck, and I hope his confidence improves soon.