kids only want DH NEVER mummy :(

[2tots]

I am concerned I'm doing something wrong. I'm a full-time mum and my husband who works full time is ultra patient with the kids (more than most people. When he's there I'm not allowed to do anything for them, they want dad. When he's not there and they're sick or hurt, they still want dad. It seems I can't even be the comfoter in the family. Am I too firm on them maybe or am I doing something really wrong. How can I fix this. It is very sad when your kids don't want you. They're only 1 and 2 and a half.

[woodstock]

I stay at home part-time and dh works from home so is there full time although the sitter comes in for half a day. DS definitely prefers dh at the moment. Sometimes it is really hard on me but I have heard from others that they go through stages like this so am trying not to take it personally.

[throckenholt]

my kids all go through phases of wanting only one other parent (they are 3 and 1.5)

My mum also says that when we were kids we only wanted to one who went out to work - whoever stayed at home was pretty much taken for granted . Not sure if that was all the time or just sometimes.

Make sure that you are sharing the discipline side of things (otherwise it feels like you are the one who always says no, and the other one gets to do all the fun things).

[lulupop]

It's perfectly normal, don't worry about it too much. I think a lot of children get a bit bored with whoever they're with most of the time and so when the other one's around, naturally they prefer that person. Also, they all go through stages of being clingy to one parent in particular.

My DS was very attached to me up to about 22 months. Then Daddy was flavour of the month, till he was about 2 and a half. Now he tells both of us that he wants the other one!

[bunny2]

Ds has always been a mummys boy until last week, now all he wants is dh. I am quite glad to have a break TBH. Dont worry too much, children can be fickle. And of course they want you, it is becasue you are such a reliable and constant prescence in their little lives that they seem to take you for granted.

[golds]

I have this too, they are happy with me when its just us, and they always want me when they are ill, but the moment Daddy walks through the door I'm not needed.

I'm the one that is with them all day, I'm the one that says 'no' to things, I'm the one that tells them off, Daddy is the one that comes home with a hug ready, he is also the one that takes them to the shop on a Saturday for sweets and a magazine, Daddy is the one that doesn't have to shout and tell them off because youve already done it.

My ds even likes to sit behind dh in the car, so they are on the same side, they fight over bedtime because they both want Daddy, it does make me feel useless sometimes, but I know this is normal so I just make the most of the time not being hassled.

Don't worry

[welshmum]

2tots - I've got this at the moment with dd (2.5) and I try to tell myself that it's just a phase and that I'm the grown up here and I shouldn't be too bothered by it. Most of the time it works but if I'm knackered I do get quite upset by it. I do sympathise with you, sometimes all I want is a cuddle. Big hug to you from me anyway!x

[coppertop]

It's always much easier to be ultra patient when you haven't spent the day listening to the tantrums, whining etc. Don't beat yourself up about that one.

My two have gone through various phases of only wanting one of us. The chosen one varies from time to time but tbh it's a bit of a relief when it's dh's turn for a while.