Anyone with a 4/5 year gap between DC1 and DC2?

[helenelisabeth]

Hi, I am starting to feel concerned re the gap between my DD and my yet to be born DC2. Will they bond? Will they play nicely when DC2 is older? I just cannot imagine how when my DD is 6/7 years old that she will want a 1/2 year old brother or sister pestering them!

[chocolateteapot]

I have 4.8 years between my two. They do get on really really well. There were a few phases where DD wasn't keen on DS and resented the attention. But now they play beautifully (when they aren't arguing !)and do have a very strong bond.

DS is nearly 4 and life is a doddle now in comparison as they keep each other busy.

[drosophila]

My DS is five years older than dd. On the plus side there is no jealousy and a fierce protectivness. He enjoys her company (far more that I imagined)and plays silly chasing games with her now that they are 7 and 2.

The only down side is the summer holidays. Finding activities for both is difficult although when dd is 3 she will be able to play tennis in same place ds does.

I get on best with my sister who is 9 years older than me.

[helenelisabeth]

Thanks girls, given me some hope! Don't know what sex LO is but luckily my DD has absolutely no preference for a boy or a girl. My SIL had 7 years between her DS1 and DS2 and was TERRIFIED that DS2 would be a girl because her DS1 was so against having a sister!

[NotADragonOfSoup]

DS1 and DS2 are 2 years apart but DS2 and DD are 5. They all get on really well (so far - DD is 18 months old). The boys are protective of her, considerate about helping her/playing with her and also completely indifferent

[cedar12]

This thread has cheered me up I am currently having ivf and my dd is 4. I only wanted 2-3 gap really but have lost 2 babies in the last 2 years. It has really made me realise you cant plan everything in life. If it works she will be almost 5 when the baby is born. Good luck Helen with every thing I am sure everything will work out.

[southeastastra]

i have an eight year gap. they're 13 and 6 and they get on (most of the time)

[MamaG]

I have DD and DS, DD oldest by 4 years and 7 months.

DS idolises DD, she loves him to bits.

They play nicely together most of the time, DD really looks after her little bro and they are very close.

They have their moments, but don't all siblings? It was a great gap IMO because DD was old enough to help and not feel pushed out as I could give baby lots of attention whilst she was at school

[helenelisabeth]

Thanks everyone, it has cheered me up as well! DD is quite a demanding child who has had all my attention, I am terrified she will feel pushed out.

Good luck Cedar, I hope all goes well for you. I have been in your position and it is not easy. This pg was a HUGE shock for both myself and DH, we were about to have frozen embryo transfer and discovered we were pregnant naturally. I was told my chances of a natural pg were million to one chance so it was a great surprise.

[LunarSea]

ds1 is 5 years + 7 months older than ds2. He's very protective of ds2, and we've had no jealousy, plus he enjoys amusing the baby. ds1's life hasn't been disrupted that much as he has his own "life" at school, and ds2 has had plenty of 1:1 attention because of it.

[charmkin]

yes
at times like having 2 only children
is diff sex then is more weird cos is like doing it all again for first time and all different stuff, clothes etc so it feels like they have nothing in common.
but it evens out
and they don't really have that competitive thing that a 2 year gap can bring
( which i still have with my 31 year old silbign)

[seeker]

I have a 5 year 2 month gap and so far it's great. One thing I do think though, is that I work really hard on building their relationship - I feel that there are bound to to be times when they don't get on - (they are 11 and 6 atm and I seriously doubt whether a 14 year o0ld girl will have much in common with a 9 year old boy!) and I am hoping that if they have a strong relationship and lots of happy memories it will help them get over any bad patches. Does this make sense?

[Fimbo]

I have a 5 1/2 year age gap between dd and ds. They have their squabbles like any siblings but on the whole play very well together. As someone else said it is almost like having 2 onlys as dd was at school when ds was born, so he had me all to himself during the day. They also like to gang up against dh & I!!

[Beauregard]

There is 4 years and 6 weeks between dd1 and dd2 and i was quite worried about the age gap but they get on really well and adore each other.
Mind you dd2 is still only 19 months ,i guess there is still time

[fircone]

Five years between ds and dd. I blithely assumed that I'd just have a two year gap between dcs, but best laid plans and all that... But - they get on brilliantly. They really love each other, it's so cute. I think that even when they have less in common at certain points in the future, they will still have that bond. And I have had the benefit of being able to devote time to two babies, and after five years I don't mind doing the same jigsaws etc etc I did with ds. I'm sure if they'd been 2 years apart I couldn't have been bothered to do anything with the second one.

[drosophila]

Also DS tends to join in our admiration of anything dd achieves. The other morning he shouted at us to come downstairs straight away and eventually when we did we found dd had completed a floor puzzle 'all by herself with nooooo help from me' and he was as proud as we were.

[moljam]

my dd is 7
ds1 6
ds2 20 months

they all get on great mostly but as someone else said its finding stuff to do suitable for all!dd and ds1 love to do baby stuff and ds2 would love to do as his big brother and sister do and gets frustrated when he cant.

[Susianna]

My two


My youngest kid
needs me
he calls, tuneful airs of baby vowels
I lift
and hide
his fingers like snail stalks, grimbling, feeling
while we consummate our affair
in the laundry cupboard

My eldest kid
comes crying
his tears like hot big raindrops
as I lay my palm on his small head
then to the sofa
asleep, unguarded
clumsy, long as a ten year old
a deer in the forest
he dreams of robots

Whilst I try to fathom
my love of these two