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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

i had to leave DD to go to sleep on her own.............and

32 replies

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:15

SHE DID I have been sitting up with DD since she was born, sometimes up to two hours of a night. Today i was late for work (crap morning) and i had to leave her in her cot whilst my mum childmined, i usually make sure she is asleep. I phoned, expecting DD to be up and irritable - she was asleep, after talking to herself for a bit and then nodding off. Do you think this means i can have my evenings back???? oh pleeease

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lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:15

she is two next month by the way

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PestoMonster · 05/07/2007 16:17

Oh definitely. You need to train them to go to sleep by themselves. 'Tis an invaluable life skill

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:41

fingers crossed eh, im just too soft and the minute she cries.........DP is even worse, but then he isnt the one sitting up there all night

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LoveMyGirls · 05/07/2007 16:46

OMG you have actually amazed me. You have been doing this everynight for how many years, 2, that is madness surely?

Please can i just ask, why?

Congratulations to you for realising you don't have to do this and now you can have your life back.

Ulysees · 05/07/2007 16:48

happy for you lucy, be strong and leave her more if you can. My mate's dd is 9 and still getting in with her.

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:49

i have done this because that has been the only way DD will settle herself. She used to co sleep when BF and it started a cycle. Have tried leaving her to settle before but she has resisted, will see how it goes.

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LoveMyGirls · 05/07/2007 16:52

Ah ok fair enough, i thought you meant she would have always done it happily but you were being a mum with pfn (precious first newborn) issues that just couldn't leave her to sleep on her own.

Now you have explained then i'll have my fingers crossed for you that she continues!

PinkChick · 05/07/2007 16:52

i was the same as you and didnt take action till late on, but i did it gradually, firstly not holding her hand when in bed, then moving further out of door, then coming in computer room incase she started..then either bath or downstairs, then out the door..take it in steps and youll be back to YOU soon enough

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:53

ulyses, yes, my nephew is 10 and still someone has to sleep with him, he is quite good at staying awake for ages too. Always said would never do that with DD, but i always say i wont let her cry herself to sleep, she is now showing signs of being happy to be left so its all good. And no cc - horray!!!

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madamegeorge · 05/07/2007 16:54

My dh and I take it in turns to stay with our 6 and 3 yr olds every night until they go to sleep. My dh started it when they were small and now they create a huge fuss and get out of bed if we come downstairs. It can go on for hours.The 6 yr old gets upset and says he's lonely and scared of monsters if he's left. My advice to anyone else would be don't do it in the first place and break the habit as soon as you can

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 16:59

pinkchick, that is what i was doing, got from bed to cuddling in cot, then hand holding, recently shes been letting go of hand to go to sleep so its time for the tide to turn maybe

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PinkChick · 05/07/2007 17:00

.bless i know exactly how you feel!, we still darent breath if she coughs and we're downstairs its all like SSSSHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!, but i training myself not to have a heart attack about it..im a nightmare, shed have prob settled lots earlier had i took the initiative

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 17:02

pinkchick, are you me??

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madamegeorge · 05/07/2007 17:09

I really regret ever doing it because the older they get the worse they make you feel about it. I've tried a sticker chart with rewards if they settle themselves to sleep but they mostly refuse. They'd rather have me giving up my entire evening than a sticker or even the promise of a treat. Perhaps they're spoilt!

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 17:23

madamegeorge, you have my sympathy , i really dont want to be posting this in four years from now so hopefully we are turning a corner

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madamegeorge · 05/07/2007 17:40

Good luck lucyellensmum. Stick with it and I'm sure you'll have many peaceful evenings. I've given up trying to make it down for the 7.30 eastenders and usually catch the 10pm one!

mad4girls · 05/07/2007 18:10

hope you get it sorted
would definately recomend starting new habits before she goes into a bed much easier to leave them when they cant follow you IYKWIM

PinkChick · 05/07/2007 20:40

LOL..hope it went well tonight??

macdoodle · 05/07/2007 21:37

OMG

lucyellensmum · 05/07/2007 22:00

i put her to bed tonight, we had a bath, read stories as usual, she had her bottle, i did ten green bottles, i have to do that every night, we knock her bottle on the floor - i told her she was a really big girl this afternoon going to sleep all by herself, i came downstairs at half eight, she was calling me, i felt bad cos i didnt go back but made myself not go unless she cried, she didnt, she alternated between calling me and babbling to her toys. She went to sleep

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lucyellensmum · 06/07/2007 08:28

macdoodle, why OMG?? strange post.

It went well last night, she went off to sleep on her own and then slept right through - will do the same today and see how she goes but its looking good so far, she must just be ready hopefull mummy.

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tribpot · 06/07/2007 08:37

Well done - we were the same with ds (just turned two) and then one night he was just absolutely refusing to go to sleep whilst I was there, so I said "mummy will leave you to go to sleep now" - he cried bitterly for four minutes (it was awful) but then slept fine. The next night daddy left him to go to sleep (called out 'bye bye daddy' in a slightly agonised way, fell asleep). The third night he told daddy it was time for him to leave so he could go to sleep and that was that!

We do the tiptoeing thing as well, and then ds slept through the huge thunderstorm two weeks ago and I thought "what on earth am I doing?"

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PinkChick · 06/07/2007 14:27

Brillient..do be prepared for times when shes'not in the mood' or under the weather and give her a little lea way, but on normal evenings keep it up..WELL DONE

lucyellensmum · 06/07/2007 20:51

second night in, its going ok, she is calling me but i think she may have nodded off, i could hear her saying mama mama, ha ha (which is hand hand) its really hard just to sit here ignoring her but i know its for her own good, i think if i stick to the only if she cries rule i'll keep strong. She went off to sleep again this afternoon when nanna was babysitting. So proud of my little girl

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PregnantGrrrl · 06/07/2007 22:15

good news!

i am currently starting to get DS to settle himself gradually - he's 1yr old.

i have learned that DS2, who is on the way, will be getting introduced to settling down much earlier this time round!

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