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DD (7) doesn't like school, I'm finding it upsetting - any ideas how to help her?

8 replies

Scanner · 04/06/2007 20:45

So tonight we've had yet again a total meltdown from dd1 (7) - yr3 about going back to school in the morning (inset day today). This has been happening since she started at this school when we moved here at the beginning of yr2. The school is great, everything you'd want, but's the standards are a lot higher than her previous school and she lost confidence when she moved. I thought she was feeling better as her teacher this year is great and she's become best friends with one of the girls.

During half term she said that her 'best friend' wasn't being nice all the time and often playing with other girls and not letting her join in. She also says that sometimes she doesn't understand what the others are talking about for example one girl was talking about Punks and dd didn't know what a Punk was. A lot of the children in her class have older sibling and I think dd may be seen as a bit babyish.

I just don't know what to say anymore, she is getting very very upset and really hates going in. I don't think a week has gone by without her saying she hates school. I have talked to her teacher on and off, but there is only so much she can do.

Any advice, for her or me?

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Scanner · 04/06/2007 20:55

bump - have already slipped off active convos!

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spudmasher · 04/06/2007 20:59

I woulld spend quite a lotof time trying to unpick what is making her unhappy. List the ones you can do something about and explain to her that some of them, she might have to live with.
Take the list to her teacher and see if she has any strategies for dealing with the things that can be dealt with.

Vague I know, but I found talking and talking and taliknig helped my DD when she was struggling at the beginnig of the year.

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Scanner · 04/06/2007 21:41

Anyone else?

I wondered if there were any books that might tackle this sort of thing as part of a story, she's into reading.

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Scanner · 04/06/2007 22:02

Stress levels are high on this one ladies, please anyone offer some help?

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MorocconOil · 04/06/2007 22:27

Hello Scanner, sorry to hear about the problems your DD is having at school. It sounds from your posting that the problems are more on the socialising aspects of school than the academic.

Does she see any of her classmates out of school? If not could you arrange for one of them to come and play or take them out somewhere? Perhaps if you discuss the problem with her classteacher she may be able to suggest a girl to encourage friendship with.

It also seems common for girls of this age to be falling in and out of friendship and can be pretty mean to eachother.

My DS 7 often says he hates school and sometimes I think he's just saying it for my reaction.

Sorry can't think of any other suggestions really. Good luck!

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elasticbandstand · 04/06/2007 22:30

there aresome girls mean to my dd, 7, i thought, invite them for tea, that should build bridges... havent done yet. i am sre she will be fine once she goes back.. ... your's that is..

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Hermit · 05/06/2007 09:31

Does she have any out-of-school activities that she enjoys? It sounds as though your dd could perhaps do with a general confidence/self-esteem/morale boost so that she can cope with the playground and friendship problems. My dd, also 7 , has an imaginary friend she talks to in her head when she is having a bad day at school, who says all sorts of positive things like - 'they'll be sorry you're not their friends one day' etc.
She also loves the Magic kitten books - a bit formulaic but there is always a 'nice, but shy' girl who encounters a 'mean' girl and ends up winning through! Also the Mermaid Wishes series.
If you think there is more to it, I would go and see the teacher again.
Good Luck - it's horrible when they're unhappy isn't it?

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Scanner · 06/06/2007 16:25

Thank you for your responses. She has friends over for tea and vice versa often, we live in a small village where everyone knows everyone. She goes to Brownies, drama and one after school club a week and gets on well with everyone.

The educational bit is this, both dh and I were worried about her she was soooo upset. Do I need to tell you how she was when we collected her the next day? totally happy no problems at all. So I have learnt now that this is all normal stuff and she will have days like this, but they don't last. Hopefully I won't be so effected next time.