Afficionados of How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk HELP please

[unknownrebelbang]

Ok, the thread's too long for me to something similar has been covered, but you seem quite impressed with it, so.......

DS2+3, 10 and 8, can sometimes be a pita at bedtime. (Sometimes aided and abetted by DS1).

They're loud and boisterous lads, and tbh most of the time they're only sitting talking, but they're soooo loud.

The problem is DH sometimes has vvv early starts and often goes to bed before them, and then is kept awake by their nattering.


What should we be saying to them to get them to show some consideration, be quieter, and ultimately go to blardy sleep?

[unknownrebelbang]

Must learn to preview, lol.

Ok, the thread's too long for me to SEE IF something similar has been covered, but you seem quite impressed with the book/logic, so.......

[unknownrebelbang]

anyone?

[climbingwalls]

Tell them to blardy be quiet or the dwarves will get them?

[unknownrebelbang]

lol.

[climbingwalls]

Sorry...

(note to self, be more serious)


Tell them what you expect of them (to talk quietly if they are going to talk at all) and give them clear consequences of what will happen if they don't be quiet (something directly related preferably, like earlier bedtime? ...)


Ask on the main thread and Cod might give a better answer...

[unknownrebelbang]

We do climbingwalls, and they say yes ok mum, and then "forget" (Don't think they know HOW to be quiet though, lol). I do follow through with sanctions, but they just think "it's not fair" rather than reconsidering their actions.

Might get them to come up with solutions, see if that works.

cheers.

[unknownrebelbang]

Any other ideas please?

[juuule]

Earplugs for dh?
What time do they go to bed? Send them up later? Send them up seperately? Keep explaining to them why it's important they be quiet when they go to bed.

[ahundredtimes]

climbingwalls, you're good!

Truth is can't think we've really covered such a proper problem - it's all been about how to give praise and how we must never say 'no'.
If you were to follow this book, I think you'd say something like this (but only if everything else has failed and every night has become a slanging match):

Wouldn't it be great if you could party all night long and never have to go to sleep. You could talk and lark about for ever and ever and it wouldn't matter. The thing is dh can't sleep when you talk. And then he can't get up in the morning and go to work and make some money. And this makes us both sad. How if you do all your talking downstairs, and then at bedtime we agree everyone keeps quiet.

Will this work? Do let us know.

[unknownrebelbang]

lol at earplugs - it may come to that!

What time do they go to bed? depends on other activities (cubs, cello, karate, etc) which I know doesn't help. If there's no activity, 8ish, if there's an activity about 9.

Send them up later? Think this may have to be an option, but tbh, I want a bit of space (purely selfish I know).

Send them up seperately? Have tried this, DS3 usually settles, but as soon as DS2 goes up, he gets up again.

Keep explaining to them why it's important they be quiet when they go to bed. We do, we do, and have done for years.....it just doesn't seem to get through. We do have the "yes mum" but then as soon as they're in their rooms.....

[unknownrebelbang]

xposts 1hundredtimes.

slanging match chez rebels, perish the thought

Will have to try that, cheers.

[ahundredtimes]

Not sure it will work rebel, seems a bit flakey when faced with noisy boys.
How about staggered bedtimes and death threats?

[unknownrebelbang]

Have tried staggered bedtimes.

Death threats - hmmmmmmmm

[juuule]

Send ds2 up first? Ask him to settle down as you can't send ds3 up until he has. Settle ds3 on a settee. He might fall asleep. If they don't like this arrangement let them know it's the best you can think of because dh needs to sleep and he can't do that if they are chatting .
Otherwise get them up one morning when dh gets up and keep them awake all day. Just so they understand how tired it makes your dh. Bit extreme but it might help.

[unknownrebelbang]

Has to be worth considering, although I know DS3 won't go asleep downstairs unless it got ridiculously late.

I am seriously considering getting them up the next time he's working a vv early weekend. Couldn't do it in the week because his vv early starts can be 4 am or even earlier - and the teacher doesn't deserve the fallout from that.

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

omg a hole thread of it
fab

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

omg theres a chapter on problems
hold on

[Gobbledigook]

Dunno but I LOVE the advice from the book and the fish!

Last night, ds2 having major meltdown:

ds2: waaaaaah, I wanted my scooby doo pyjamas!!

me: oh no, you wanted your scooby doo ones?

ds2: yeeeeeees

me: oh, I bet you are really upset that mummy has put them in the wash aren't you?

ds2: yeeeeees

me: hey, wouldn't it be great if we never had to wash our pyjamas and we could just wear our favourite ones the whole time?

ds2: yeees.....but mummy, when we are in bed our pyjamas get dirty and when I have breakfast I sometimes spill the milk on them, so we have to put all our clothes and pyjamas in the washing machine to get clean again.

And off he ran to see dh.

It's blardy magic I tell yoU! Dh was ROFL when I told him - he is going to try it! Ha ha!

[Gobbledigook]

My normal response would be like this:


ds: waaaaaah, I wanted my scooby doo pyjamas!!

me: well tough, they're in the wash so you'll just have to wear cars ones

ds2: waaaaaah, waaaaaah, waaaaaah

me: oh fgs, get a grip

Am very impatient at going to bed time. My poor kids!!

But hye, have a new strategy now and it's great. Even if I do feel a complete knob buying into the whole 'pyjama catastrophe'

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

aha! it d be great if the dfish coudl find hte book!
haev been around hosu enad foudn a tesco direct catalogue
an old copy of red
todays paper
last weeks local rag

socks
malteser wrappers

NOT THE bible

[Gobbledigook]

dfish? are you going all puff diddy on us?

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

lol dfish is still dfish from the block

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

[Gobbledigook]

hehe!