I'm on a roll tonight. Mothers of boys, how do you feel you rate as 'gender role model?' Are they (if straight) going to be attracted in later years to a woman with your qualities?

[Bubble99]

I've often wondered about this.

I married a man very similar to my dad in temperament (sp?)

My two brothers married women the total opposite to my mum.

Do we have a big effect in the parenting years? This is a question, of course, for any mnet dads, too.

[LittleMouseWithCLogsOn]

i do take it very seriously tbh( cod in seriosu shock)
id o htinkt hat a boys attitude to hei mum is HIUGELy formative oBV to all toher women he meets
ditto i am very nice to MIL( not hard tbh) so they can see how a realtiosn hsip wiht a mIL Shoudl be

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

I think if we have a good relationship with & admire our parents we're likely to seek those qualities out in a life partner & vice versa

[Ladymuck]

Both of mine seem to be definitely "boobs" men. Does that count?

[WideWebWitch]

Interesting q and we are in the middle of watching a film (dh gone to make us some food) so will post int he morning on this.

[southeastastra]

i alot of similarities with myself and my mil!

[NotanOtter]

my boys seem to like me!
is that what you mean?

[unknownrebelbang]

TBH, I've not really thought about my own rating, but I think that my DH is a fantastic role-model for the lads.

Hmm, need to go away and think about that one...

[christywhisty]

My sisters and I all married very different men, none of them anything alike but all very different from out dad.
DH SIL is nothing like me (I hope!)and I am nothing like my MIL, although we do get on really well.

[Bubble99]

Kind of...I think...NAO.

But I think it goes beyond 'liking.' IYSWIM.

I'm aware that, as my boys don't have any sisters, I am the only female that they spend a lot of intimate time with.

Hence, their view of 'womanhood' is formed by their experience of me.

< bloody hell. Where did this thread come from on a Saturday night >

If (when) I rant and shout, they will take this as being 'how women are.' I don't think they consciously think this, BTW. But it must form an impression and affect their future relationships?

[Bubble99]

Good forward planning, cod.

I'm very aware that my future relationship with my sons is only going to be as good as my relationship with their partners/wives.

[booge]

Gosh, I've not really thought about how I'm a role model for DS but I don't think he will necessarily find a man or woman with my qualities attractive, I am certainly not like my MIL and DH is nothing like my father.

I hope he grows up to be a kind, considerate man who knows his own mind and that I can be a positive role model in this respect.

[foxcub]

..you mean grumpy women with bags under their eyes who shout a lot?

[rantinghousewife]

Well, mine's 13 and yes, I guess his girlfiend (freudian slip, anyone) does have similiar qualities to good ole mum. Poor sod!!

[edam]

Agree it probably has something to do with later choice of partner. Like Cod, I try very hard to be nice to my MIL (and she's generally lovely so not really that difficult).

Don't think dh went for anyone like his mother though. Although she did have a career... and somehow I ended up doing 9/10 of the DIY on our last house (she did all the carpentry on theirs).

[franca70]

2/10 that is how I rate as a gender role model.

[Nightynight]

hmm
I consciously married a man as unlike my father as could possibly be. I think this was sealed when I was about 15 and he let me down, big time.
So I guess maybe if my sons have a good relationship with me, they will be attracted to women like me but if they dont like me and feel that I failed them, they will go for someone different.

[MarsLady]

Absolutely. I am consummate woman! Why on earth would my sons want something/one different!


lol

[Gobbledigook]

Hmmm, I am nothing like dh's mother at all.\

Dh is not remotely like my dad either.

What does that mean?!

I think dh adn I are good role models for our boys. We are hard working, nice people with lots of friends and we are very demonstrative about our feelings.

I mean, what else can you do except give them a lovely, stable, happy upbringing?

Who knows the secret?

[expatinscotland]

I'm not like DH's mum, no.

In any way.

DH is not like my father at all.

In any way.

I wasn't like my ex's H, either, she was a miserable doormat.

Not like any of my ex-boyfriends' mums, either.

[gemmiegoatlegs]

i am aware that me and my sil and dh's brother's wife have a similar look. and we are all very dark haired and domineering , just like dhs mum. i think a strong woman was a role model in dh and bils lives so they have naturslly followed suit as they are used to being bossed around. I would be really chuffed if ds settled with a woman like me as i consider it a sign of a jb well done. But dd is never leaving me. EVER.

[MaPickle]

Ooh this is interesting ... I am very similar to my MIL we get on very well (does that mean I love myself a bit too much ha ha)... both blonde too though as a rule DH prefers brunettes tho that probably means bugger all

I hope that i am a positive role model in the future ... i think it is something I will now look with an extra dimension