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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Is it 'too much' to expect a nearly 5yo to...

35 replies

MascaraOHara · 28/04/2007 20:02

I was thinking of giving my dd (5 in summer) the responsibility of keeping her bedroom tidy.. I have no idea if this is the done thing and was thinking of maybe saying she gets 50p on a saturday if she tidies her room or something?

Not sure if this is acceptible or not?? I normally end up tidying her room on a Saturday and just feel a bit fed up that she always refuses to help.

Any opinions?

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LynetteScavo · 28/04/2007 20:04

Ha ha ha ha, ho ho ho, ha ho ho 5 yo , tidy bed room ha ha hoho.

Someone will be along in a minute with some sensible advice.. ha ha...

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misdee · 28/04/2007 20:05

mine refuse to help till i get the black bag out....

50p for a tidy room on saturdays seems fine to me

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MascaraOHara · 28/04/2007 20:06

she'll go up with me then sort of play, whilst I tidy around her.. got a bit fed up with it today lol

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Porpoise · 28/04/2007 20:08

Misdee
I once did a 90-second phone interview with Madonna (long story) and asked her for her top parenting tip: she said get the black bag out if they won't tidy their room!

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lostinfrance · 28/04/2007 20:10

This reply has been deleted

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RedLorryYellowLorry · 28/04/2007 20:16

Oh yes the black bag - works EVERY time

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FioFio · 28/04/2007 20:17

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popsycal · 28/04/2007 20:19

ds1 will be 5 in august
when his room is a mess i give him 5/10/15 mins - whatever is appropriate that he can easily get it done in. set the timer and anything still out on the floor goes in the black bin bag. i do go inwith reminders and occasionally help a bit
he is a timer boy though and loves a 'challenge'

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JustUsTwo · 28/04/2007 20:19

This reply has been deleted

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popsycal · 28/04/2007 20:21

i don't give rewards for tidying the room though as it is something that is expected - dont do it for every day stuff iyswim

its like the naughty kids at school getting merits for behaving normally rather than acting up.......never do that either

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LadyTophamHatt · 28/04/2007 20:24

ds1 +2 are responsilble for their rooms.

It does take a fair bit of nagging but they do it well enough.

I do a massive big tidy in there every few months but day to day they have to do it.

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amess · 28/04/2007 20:33

Let the battle commence! 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 as long as still at home it will be a battle!

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MascaraOHara · 29/04/2007 20:51

I went to bed last night as am poorly but this morning... Oh my god.. sent dd to get dressed and she came out of her room fully dressed and announced...

"mummy, I've tidied my room and made my bed, come and see!"

so in I went and it was perfect! bless her, she was very pleased with her 50pence I'm very happy! and so was she actually.. wonder how long it will last

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fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 20:55

Dd was 5 in Dec & has been tidying her room since before that.

She has a basket for her dirty laundry which she uses & brings to the machine when full [or I will lift it if I see it needs doing]

She has 2 huge baskets/buckets in her room for her toys so really it's just a matter of lifting the toys & putting them in the bucket. She also has 2 shelves for her dolls & jewellery boxes so they are out of ds's reach!

Her books all go on a bookcase, so everything has a place & she knows their places. She doesn't make her bed though, as it's a double bed & full of cushions & teddies, I make that for her

Never too young to accept a bit of responsibility if you ask me

I don't reward her for it though... no-one rewards me for tidying the rest of the house!

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MascaraOHara · 29/04/2007 21:06

hmmm interesting FF2, dd has a wash bin which she uses and two big toy boxes, her books go her book shelf and dressing up clothes in draws under the bed.

I think if/when she gets into the swing of it I will add some little extras to that request to tidy her room.

I think I am concerned as my mother never made me tidy my room and I think I have a tendency now for it not to be natural for me (my bedroom is a state). Want it to be normaly for her to have to tidy iykwim??

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fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 21:12

Hah.. my older sister always tidied our room! On a Saturday we were banished & when we came back our clothes were magically in our drawers & the dressers always polished etc.. She was 10 years older than me though & 5 of us shared a room!

I am the same now MOH, my bedroom is a kip! There are fluffbunnies under my bed who may have been breeding I take my clothes off & hang them over the top of the step maching. Or roll them in a ball & set them on the dresser Oh I am slovenly.

So I guess that dd is just the little girl I should have been!!! I still maintain that if someone had made me take responsibility when I was younger my house would be tidier now

And in fairness to me, the rest of my house is always clean & sort of tidy, just my bedroom looks like that of a rebellious teenager!!

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MascaraOHara · 29/04/2007 21:13

lol snap!

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fizzylemonade · 29/04/2007 21:20

My son is almost 4, he has 3 chores already, to put his clothes into a laundry basket, to help tidy his room every night (he has a play room where he can leave half done projects out) and to turn the nightlight off on the landing each morning.

There is no money involved, just my wrath Start them young I say. The playroom is generally messy but I refuse to trip over anything left on the floor in a darkened bedroom should I need to stumble in to see to him.

He does sometimes set the table too, maybe I am just a tyrant

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MascaraOHara · 29/04/2007 21:23

I guess dd does a lot that I don't think about e.g. always turns the nightlight off in morning, always lays the table (enjoys this) helps with bits of cooking that she can help with etc puts her knickers and socks in her draw when I pass them to her from the airing cupboard etc so I guess she is pretty good

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MrsWho · 29/04/2007 22:23

My 2 both tidy their own room , though dd2 is particularly messy and empties everything every night,by Thurs last week I had ad enough and said right anything you don't keep tidy goes, so I took a basket in filled it up and off it went and dd2 says'thats good you took the stuff I don't want ' [ARGHHH!]

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Jackaroo · 30/04/2007 10:59

Oh dear, I htink maybe I'm a tyrant too - DS is 19 months and he has to pick up toys and put clothes in linen bin! Obviously I do it all with him, but coming from a home that was a tip, and being good at not tidying myself, I'm determined that no child of mine will end up like that. I don't know if it's common to be driven demented by untidyness and yet be incredibly untidy...?

The time I waste looking for stuff... and money. I'm going to lose my deposit on the trek stuff I hired for a charity walk last month, because my desert stuff is still scattered all over the house (how?) .. but I think that might be the wake up call I needed

DS is very organised so far

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haggisaggis · 30/04/2007 11:06

We have a cleaner who comes in 3 times a week. The house has to be tidy or she doesn't clean. Also, if she does find any toys lying about she just chucks them in the first toy box she finds - so small bits of lego can end up muddled in with big stuff. Because the kids know this - and know taht they will never find anything again if teh cleaner puts their stuff away - their rooms are generally quite tidy!

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purpleduck · 30/04/2007 11:12

LOL!! I thought i was being mean with the black bag trick, but now I feel much better with Madonna, in all her elevated awareness doing the same thing!!!! I do a good tidy out every now and again, but my 2 (ages 5 and 7) have to make sure their room is tidy before they go to bed - I think its easier to sleep when the room is tidy. They also have to put their clothes in the laundry basket, put their shoes and coat away when we get in, and I am working on them emptying their lunch boxes after school. Oh and they normally make their bed as well. A few weeks ago they were argueing over who could fill the washing machine for me sadly they lost interest ...damn!!

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TenaLady · 30/04/2007 11:17

my ds has been making his bed since he was three! (not how I would like it though)!

He has always attempted to tidy although under protest and you know what, it is exhausting having to keep cajoling him, so I ask him to do it occasionally.

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seeker · 30/04/2007 11:21

You are not BU at all. It's important though to make the room easy to tidy - toy boxes, book shelf and laundry basket. We do a "family 15 minutes" We decide on the job that needs to be done then set the time and do whatever it is as quickly as possible. The children tidy their rooms, I do something I hate doing - like ironing. Works really well.

I wouldn't do the 50p for a tidy room though - I would do the 50p because it was pocket money. Tidying rooms and other basic jobs are IMHO things you do because you are part of the family community.