Do you find the word "naughty" offensive.....

(126 Posts)
j3 Tue 27-Mar-07 09:13:42

???

cazzybabs Tue 27-Mar-07 09:17:45

ummm - yes (although I do use it with my own children)...but my teacher head says label a child naughty and they will be. What you should say is "you have chosen to do something naughty/wrong", rather than the "you are a naughty girl/boy".

adath Tue 27-Mar-07 09:20:14

I have always tried my best not to use naughty and bad at all as like cazzy said they can be labels that children then live up to. I have tried to avoid them because me personally feels that I might slip up and say you are rather than that was.
Not particularly offensive just not a word i choose to use.

I tell my kids that they are doing something that is naughty, but I don't think I have ever called them naughty (iykwim).

Tortington Tue 27-Mar-07 09:21:26

more hippy shite. jesus.

cazzybabs Tue 27-Mar-07 09:23:05

I am not sure it is hippy more scientifically researched facts - at school somewhere (i am not the best organsied) I do have the research that supports this.

southeastastra Tue 27-Mar-07 09:23:53

no

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Mar-07 09:26:05

not bothered by the word at all

but in brigning up cildren it's not much practical use

don't be so naughty is a fairly weak and pathetic thing to say

much better to think about the particular behaviour and tackle that

my naughty little sister great books!

and the naughtiest girl in the school

a child with some challenging behaviours but who at times surprises us with her imaginative cintribution to school life

just doesn't have the same ring

wulfricsmummy Tue 27-Mar-07 09:26:10

Message withdrawn

Nope - it takes more than telling a child they aer naughty to set up a self fullfilling prophecy - it is about an attitude and approach - it goes beyond the mere word (and avoiding the word does not avoid this happening) someone somewhere has got the big fat wrong end of a stick.

vimfuego Tue 27-Mar-07 09:29:38

cazzy has it, say "that was a very naughty thing to do", not "you're a naughty boy".

It's not hippy shite, the point is that if you paint a child in a certain role they will act towards that role.

mm22bys Tue 27-Mar-07 09:30:22

We try really hard not to call DS2.10 "naughty", but that the BEHAVIOUR is naughty, iyswim?

I once heard a really sad story about a four old boy who could not speak, other than the words "bad boy". I could almost cry!

j3 Tue 27-Mar-07 09:31:44

zippi-there is horrid henry too

FioFio Tue 27-Mar-07 09:32:44

Message deleted

Twiglett Tue 27-Mar-07 09:37:07

there are these issues that one gets obsessed with early on in ones transition into a parent .. they all seem to come complete with their documented research (from newspaper articles / internet trawls)

most of the 'issues' are not truly backed up with robust methodology but are statistical conclusions that are about as accurate as me saying my arse fits in size 6 knickers ... it doesn't in case there's any doubt

as one continues on the path of being a parent, having subsequent children and their entering the school system one tends to relax into the whole parenting lark and realise that calling your child 'naughty' will not kill them .. it might not be effective in behaviour modification .. but it isn't going to scar them for life

because in general we're all fairly good non-abusive parents .. and this is directed at lowest-common denominator of abusive shits


or as custy said more succintly 'hippy shite'

Carmenere Tue 27-Mar-07 09:40:16

No, ridiculous paranoia imo.

GibbonInARibbon Tue 27-Mar-07 09:41:29

pmsl twig....perfect post

NotReadThread Tue 27-Mar-07 09:42:08

My children are now too old to be 'naughty'.
They are 'irritating', 'annoying' or 'deliberately obtuse'.
I don't object to the word 'naughty'.
I don't like the use of the word 'bad' in relation to the behaviour of a child.

Children are naughty sometimes.
I don't think it is emotionally damaging to tell them when they are.

vimfuego Tue 27-Mar-07 09:42:20

Right so do the thing which is most effective in behaviour modification. Which is to say "that was very naughty" not "you are very naughty". A very small change in wording but it has a lot significance for the child.

cazzybabs Tue 27-Mar-07 09:42:50

Would you call a child thick or stupid? No. or fat or ugly... What is the difference?

HuwEdwards Tue 27-Mar-07 09:43:53

I appear to have stumbled into the twilight zone.....

GibbonInARibbon Tue 27-Mar-07 09:45:18

You cannot compare calling a child naughty to calling it fat, ugly or thick.

GibbonInARibbon Tue 27-Mar-07 09:46:24

I must make a note to never call my DD 'wrong'
God forbid I damage her self esteem.

<<rolls eyes>>

Twiglett Tue 27-Mar-07 09:47:56

"it has a lot significance for the child"

I'd dispute that actually ... show me the proof .. or is it one of those things that one has accepted as fact because one hears it repeated left, right and centre .. its lowest common denominator parenting advice AGAIN

IME it doesn't really make so much difference ... it is the way you treat your children, whether you respect them, love them and whether you are a real parent who is not afraid to set parameters of behavioru that makes the difference. Your total life together is what counts not the semantic use of words

I think too many people have bought into the black and white school of parenting

I think once you relax you start to use your common sense

cazzybabs Tue 27-Mar-07 09:48:15

Why? (I am just trying to thnk in my head too). But they are all neagative attributes...we don't wish a child to be any of those things...

you see I think it depends upon the degree of naughtness...it is fine to call your chilkd it when she takes her sister's toy but not when she burns the schoolk down. They are both "naughty" behaviour..one is worse thn the other, but I don't want my child to do any of thse things.

this probably makes no sense...I am trying to help dd1 with her hamma beads...

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