Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

(590 Posts)
manuka Sun 11-Mar-07 16:06:59

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

sharond101 Thu 04-Jul-13 22:13:39

She came round for dinner, sat on the sofa whilst I cooked it, laid table and entertained bay. Ate dinner then retreated back to sofa shouting, "I'll have a cuppa when your done there." As I was left to clear the table, wash up, entertain baby, bf baby and make tea!

123oap Thu 04-Jul-13 18:24:07

I spent 10 days in hospital, five days prior to DS's birth, with preeclampsia, and five after a horrendous birth that went wrong for me and DS. I was on morphine, and all sorts of medication. Her first question when she came to visit was, " Did you see the final of I'm a celebrity last week...."

foryonisonly Fri 19-Apr-13 22:58:43

mil often comes for tea, invariably turns up as i Am bfeeding. I will say, sorry - you ate welcome to make a cup of tea (hint hint) & she replies "its ok i can wait".

ridiculius things like she will say to ds1 "i like your jeans, much nicer than those normal denim ones" ...... ds2 will be right there on normL denim ones.

foryonisonly Fri 19-Apr-13 22:23:44

My mother in law went through a phase of saying the most ridiculius things. She has calmed it down a but now . A good one and 100'/, true is "I know you vegetarians dont eat dripping so I cooked the yorkshire puddings in lard" (after I had eaten 2). Dh kindly reminds her of this everytime we eat there, poor mil is mortified. She also tells me every time she has a cold sore, that they are not infectious. I have to remind her not to kiss dcs. Every time we see her she asks if ds3 clothes are new or hand me downs. Then follows up with a pitiful "well I suppose he might as well wear them" - you know like ds1 & 2 probably wore some things about 6 times before they outgrew them. She will die when i tell her I have sold them or passed them on to yet a FOURTH user!!!

happyfirsttimemummy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:05:57

My MIL is full of these types of remarks every time she visits!

'Well I'm never allowed to hold the baby for more than 5 minutes' yeah, because when he's hungry and needs changing you don't hand him over...you just let him 'cry it out'!

'Oh, he can have all the sweets and chocolate he likes at our house. He can watch whatever he likes on TV for as long as he likes.' Umm no he can't!

'Wow, I'm really suprised at how healthy he looks!' ...

After listing all of the reasons why I will not be giving my LO dummies: 'well I don't want to seem like I'm teaching you to suck eggs here, but it's much easier if you give them a dummy. Just to shut them up.'

Me: 'I don't want the LO to watch much TV'
MIL: well when he (OH) was a baby, I just used to stick him in front of the TV for hours...never did him any harm'

After explaining why I respond when LO cries: 'Oh sometimes I would just have to put him (OH) in the kitchen and shut the door to get some peace!' He had colic for god's sake!

The thing that winds me up the most is that she treats my OH like an idiot and won't believe that he can do ANYTHING! It drives me mad! He's a fantastic dad and is so hands on with LO. He is amazing, and has a no confidence in himself all because of he constant nitpicking and belittling of him his whole life.

Umm rant over :/

tanyaandflynn Thu 18-Apr-13 21:24:07

My mil is lovely, mental but lovely.
My mother is the one who caused problems. We didn't speak for years just the occasional text that she rarely replied to.
On hearing I'd got married "I'm guessing it wasn't xx(my dh) as that would be terrible) confused
Thanks mother.
She passed away two weeks ago and no one told me for two days apparently she'd known she had terminal cancer for a month but wanted to wait till she felt better to reach out to her kids.
She never saw ds and only ever saw one picture sad she never asked for another or asked to see him.

BellyChancer Mon 15-Apr-13 18:57:00

She's not german? (just checking)

my xmil gave my dd a top and trousers and said 'they match'. my dd said 'what does that mean?' and my xmil said 'oh yes your mummy doesn't do matching'.

:-0

I liek to think my ecclectic choices don't clash though.

BelfastBloke Mon 15-Apr-13 18:52:51

My MIL thought we were at war with the French during WWII.

You know, that war she was alive during.

Mominatrix Mon 15-Apr-13 18:40:14

My MIL told me (after our wedding) that men marry women who look like their mums - I am a petite oriental, she is an obese blond French woman.

andrews81 Mon 15-Apr-13 18:37:37

My MIL asked if I had a bottle of something for my 6 month old as he was unsettled (he was full of cold) when I'm ebf!

GoSuckEggs Sat 13-Apr-13 19:15:41

thank god i dont have a MIL!

Sunshine200 Sat 13-Apr-13 16:16:41

That my baby had acid reflux because I am a vegetarian.

matana Thu 11-Apr-13 14:58:55

When DS was 9 months: "Has he had two packets of raisins?! No wonder he has chubby wrists!"

And at 2 yo: "Matana - were you a naughty baby?"
Me: confused "No..." [wondering how a baby can be 'naughty']
MIL: "Oh, i just wondered who he gets it from because Matana's DH wasn't naughty."

angry

can6342 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:48:29

My god, some of these are awful!
My MIL also comes out with some crap, she really can't help herself.. One of her best was in a phone conversation. I had just made a big purchase and I said to MIL "I had wanted to talk to my Mum about it but..."
(MIL interrupts) "Well that would be a bit difficult seeing as how she's dead... Ha ha!"
shock
My Mum had died suddenly, just three weeks before.
It was the casual, light-hearted laugh at the end that got me. She genuinely thought she was making a funny joke. Silly cow. I've never forgotten that angry

theonewiththenoisychild Tue 09-Apr-13 17:54:16

I have no MIL but SIL used to more than make up for that
me and dp had a row he went to her house for some space she told dp to come home and throw me out and keep dd. still feel a little bitter about that one but then in the next argument she would butt in and defend me she used to be a bit like that but haven't had any problems from her for over 3 years since she fell out with me and dp and we both let rip about how we feel about her grin now we all get on ok since we have set the boundaries. we are not actually married but apart from the big day and bit of paper we are the same as any married couple

TheSlug Tue 09-Apr-13 15:45:00

my favourite... after telling me I was 'a problem' because she didn't know what to feed me (I'm a veggie but have been eating with them occasionally for 2.5 years!) then went on to say she didn't know how being vegetarian was healthy because..

when she changed her dog's food from meat to fish and rice, she had to give the dog loads of supplements!!!

SunsetMojito Tue 09-Apr-13 14:22:32

Another one regularly trotted out is how me and dh's marriage won't last because my parents were divorced so I don't value marriage.

Yep it was my fault that my parents got divorced!

SunsetMojito Tue 09-Apr-13 14:20:19

In the hospital the day I had dd1 'Well you haven't got your figure back', followed by 'you're holding her wrong'.

Subsequently so so frequent including 'dd has a runny nose, oh mummy never bothers to wipe it. At least we care'. Many many 'We're the only ones who care for you' directed at dds.

When I went back to work 'You can't put a price on staying at home with your children.'

MIL is a master of the dig via the grandchild. She is a bitter old cow.

cooper44 Tue 09-Apr-13 13:48:34

After an Emcs. "Oh I'm so glad that they gave you a section." Mmm yes always great to have major surgery!
After having DS1, losing both my parents over one summer and being the bloody sole earner at home. "have you thought about losing some weight yet?"
After each child. "well he's obviously a xxxxxx(Dhs name)!" actually no they both pretty much look like neither of us.

PhyllisDietrichson Tue 09-Apr-13 08:04:08

When I'd just had our second child that week, MIL said to my best mate:

''Gosh she's really got her work cut out to shed all those pounds hasn't she?''

Liara Mon 08-Apr-13 20:09:46

When we announced we were expecting ds2 (ds1 had already been a 'miracle baby' as we were told we would never get pg naturally, we were chuffed to be able to have a second at all):

'Oh dear, Liara, couldn't you have tried for a girl?' Said in front of both her son and mine angry.

Yes, MIL, we know you only love your dd but the rest of us love our sons.

Octopus37 Mon 08-Apr-13 19:57:06

1)The day after I got back from hospital after having DS2, "don't forget that you've got three boys to look after now", meaing my DH as well.
2) When I was pregnant with DS2, you're not going to feed this baby all the time as well are you, I breastfed both of them on demand.
3) Also told me that if I had gone back to work, I would have gone way down in her estimations, alas I now work for myself part time and youngest DS is at nursery part time.
4) Has said several times, I'm glad you've got to bring them up not me, they've both got minds of their own, you're going to have some battles,, They are so determined, they take after you.
Also doesn't understand why I can't just leave the housework and play with the kids and do it all in the evening after they are in bed, yeah right. Opposite to me thinks there's always tomorrow, when to me there isn't even enough time today to get everything done.
Love her really, just harder as I don't have my own Mum.

rachi1990xx Mon 08-Apr-13 10:08:23

My mil felt the need to tell me at 5 months pregnant you will never lose all that weight, bearing in mind i was lighter than before i was pregnant! Now DS is here she came to my house saw my DS asleep in cot (at 6pm which is the tyme he always goes to sleep) said hes always asleep and proceeded to wake him up which she then tried to deny! Does my bloody swede in interfering cow ! Wow i feel lots better now x

Babycino81 Sun 07-Apr-13 20:09:47

Thank you so much everyone! I am of with first baby and having loads of issues with in laws and this thread has made me laugh so much I don't think I'm that badly off!!!

deleted203 Fri 14-Sep-12 17:39:35

OMG, some of these are hysterical! I actually get on quite well with my MIL, but only due to my saintly nature wink. I remember her once saying, 'You're not at all the sort of person I hoped my son would end up with'...hard to take that as a compliment! I said rather weakly, 'well we don't fall out much'. (She wanted him to have someone organised and complains that I'm as laid back and disorganised as he is, lol). Last time we went up there I hadn't closed the door behind me before she had siezed me by the love handles and said in horror, 'Hen! Look at the size of you! What have you been doing?' to which I replied acidly, 'Stuffing my face, obviously!'. grin

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