Things that dh still doesn't get after nearly six years of parenting

(95 Posts)
wrinklytum Fri 02-Mar-07 22:04:21

That a turquoise jumper two sizes to small and purple trousers two sizes too big are not a happening thing on a girl.

That giving the dcs chocolate mid morning results in them strangely enough not wanting to eat a healthy dinner.

That sitting them in front of a dvd is not the best way to stimulate and entertain a 3 and 1 year old whilst you bugger about playing games on the computer.

That having the kids for the day while mummy is at work also involves washing up,making beds,cooking meals and putting the washing through the machine.

That actually getting out of the house for a healthy walk is a GOOD THING.

The belief that that tinned hotdog sausages (shudder) aka processed bits of meat that not even a dog would eat are a great snack food for a three year old.("Oh but he really likes them he ate the whole tin" )

I could go on......

adath Fri 02-Mar-07 21:46:32

Lol Muminbrum I was thinking the same thing there is so many things here dp does, but if he is the same man he must be exhausted

MuminBrum Fri 02-Mar-07 20:53:02

Bloody hell, I'm beginning to wonder if we are all married to/living with the same man.

toadstool Fri 02-Mar-07 19:53:47

That leaving DD in the bath while checking email/ looking at scooters on eBay isn't clever, esp when she's learning to dive in her swimming classes.

That the Bedtime Routine wasn't invented by me to annoy him, and that it can't be replaced by making DD look at eBay scooters with Daddy instead.

That if it's freezing outside he should perhaps put a jumper on her, rather than say, "She forgot."

mishw Fri 02-Mar-07 19:52:41

That faces need washing possibly several times a day.

Teeth and hair need to be brushed before going out - let alone clips or hairbands!

When I say DD1 needs feeding at 5.30pm that means actually sitting down eating not starting to make food!

When I say that you need to feed DD2 (5m) now, it means now not when you've made a cup of tea, been to the loo, checked emails etc!

That some clothes do not go together

However he is generally pretty and gives me a lie in and encourages me to have a night out so I can't really complain

shimmy21 Fri 02-Mar-07 10:29:54

that shouting at children 'Look, I'm late for work!' does not make them think 'oh well in that case I'll hurry up and put my shoes on really fast then.'

purpleduck Fri 02-Mar-07 10:16:54

omg lillyloo that is so funny....and scary as i'm amazed my husband hasn't thought of that!!! My husband, as he was home yesterday (ok, he took the day off to go on a school trip with my son's class) I had to go to uni and he offered to "do all the morning stuff". So 15 past 8 he's telling the kids to put their coats and shoes on, even though their faces are filthy, their hair hadn't been done URGH!!!! Cue one very cranky wife!! He still doesn't understand that yes, their faces DO need cleaning every time we go out!!! But overall is very good.

KaySamuels Fri 02-Mar-07 09:25:58

These have had me laughing my head off!

My dp does nearly all of these bless him!!

His worst is giving them choices rather than just telling them. Teas is the worst he has complained in the ast about cooking 5 different teas whilst I have giggled to myself!

Yes my dp is ncapable of being quiet too ludaloo!

He also is incapable of letting ds sleep without prodding him ffs!!??! He says it revenge for sleepless nights and doesn't see my reasoning that his actions will very likely result in a screaming toddler! And his eldest is 10!!

ghosty Fri 02-Mar-07 06:23:43

My DH still needs reminding that putting the children in front of a DVD while he goes on the computer does NOT equal Quality Time with Daddy .... <<sigh>>

He also still does not get that a 'lie in' for me is when he gets up the minute the children wake up, closes the bedroom door, takes them off to the kitchen and bans them from coming in to see me for 2 hours.
To him, a lie in (for me) is bringing them into our bed at 6am and getting back in himself and going back to sleep ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

But apart from niggly things like that he is a great dad (when he is here that is )

ghosty Fri 02-Mar-07 06:20:04

Got a vision of a grown man (MorningPaper's DH) in pink trousers and a red spotty top

Steppy1 Fri 02-Mar-07 05:39:37

...that trying to get DS (6) and DD (4) to tidy their playroom at 7pm on a weekday night WILL NOT WORK..... and that his 'motivational talk', at 7.15pm threatening to throw the toys still on the floor into bin bags...won't work either

then retiring to his office as 'more work to do' at 7.30, leaving mum to sort out 2 highly distressed, sobbing children isn't a good idea either....

earlgrey Fri 02-Mar-07 05:11:40

LOL at majorstress! God, that sounds familiar .....

Totally agree with the option thing, too. Conversation goes (and remember it's me cooking the supper):

"Would you like your supper now, girls? What would you like?".

Erm, no, it's suppertime, they're having it now, and it's X, not X, Y or Z.


"Would you like to go to bed now?"

FFS they're 7 and 8, of course they bloody wouldn't!

And when I was weaning them, breaking off bits of incredibly salty poppadoms and handing it to them was not a good idea ...

kama Thu 01-Mar-07 23:02:39

Thanks I can actually see her as well as hear her, she is literally two meters in front of where we sit. You're right about the noise though!

exbury Thu 01-Mar-07 22:36:17

Kama - no - IMHO - if you are within earshot and can still here general bathing riot noises going on, you can be pretty sure they are not drowning . Not sure my DH would stay within earshot, though...

kama Thu 01-Mar-07 22:28:26

meant to add onto that post - it that really terrible? (worried now!)

kama Thu 01-Mar-07 22:27:50

berolina - we do that all the time. infact, we often sit in the living room with the bathroom & livingroom door open whilst she plays - it is 2 meters from one door to the other.

lupo Thu 01-Mar-07 22:12:53

sorry should have read 10.30pm not 1.30 am yikes

lupo Thu 01-Mar-07 22:12:01

asking ds 2.6 if he would like to go to bed now...
I come in to find he is still awake at 1.30

dh response: 'well he said he wasn't tired yet...'

DeviousDaffodil Thu 01-Mar-07 20:43:42

Smith - sounds like y Dh.
SAys ' It's bathtime' and carries on watching tv. Now my ds's are good, but running their own bath, washing and putting pjs on without supervision is not on..

Themis Thu 01-Mar-07 20:41:20

Although he will kindly take the children swimming occasiionally on a Saturday afternoon , he forgets that the swimming trunks and towels will not dry whilst still in the rucksack and that they actaully need TAKING OUT AND DRYING OFF !!!


that the children have a bedtime routine - that is why they go to bed nicely EXCEPT when HE doesn't stick to that routine !!

LilyLoo Thu 01-Mar-07 20:39:04

Nightmare! Came back from girly weekend, Bliss. However friend not too impressed when neighbour advised that she had seen her dh out with the two dd's1 + 3 both wearing tops and tights. When questioned he thought they were leggings !

Smithagain Thu 01-Mar-07 20:32:34

Like so many others, DH doesn't understand that announcing that it is bed time and then carrying on drinking coffee and reading the paper sends out a somewhat mixed message.

And that it is no bloomin' use sending a vertically-challenged 4yo upstairs to get clean trousers, when her hanging rail is six feet off the ground. Or getting irate when she is still not dressed 20 minutes later.

DeviousDaffodil Thu 01-Mar-07 20:27:54

To bath the kids occassionally.
To not give them food that is past the sll by date.

ludaloo Thu 01-Mar-07 20:26:59

How to be friggin QUIET

Wallerbies Thu 01-Mar-07 20:24:41

my DH has just cleaned the highchair with some yucky bleach containing kitchen cleaner which I'd hidden at the back of the cupboard and the work surfaces with tonights organic lasagne still cooling. Well DS wont be eating left overs tomorrow (yes I've recleaned the high chair and tray. He claims this is the first hes ever heard of this and thought I would think washing up liquid would not be good enough!

busybusybumblebaby Thu 01-Mar-07 17:05:51

My dh constantly needs reminding of the childrens routine.....and we have 3 children would have thought he should have mastered it by now...but NO CHANCE!! I still need to remind him of everything!! some times it makes me sooo MAD!!

lanismum Thu 01-Mar-07 17:03:05

oh no, he didnt put a normal nappy on dd for swimming, oh no, he put a swim nappy on her before a 3 hour drive..............hence 1 very wet miserable baby and one stinky car seat

crayon Thu 01-Mar-07 16:42:50

Just because 3rd old's trousers have somehow found their way into 5yr old's drawers, this does not mean that 5 year old looks good in them.

That shirts look nice, yes, but they are a bugger to iron and they have plenty of t-shirts in their drawers too .

Elasticwoman Thu 01-Mar-07 16:30:05

Forgot to cream and t shirt ds then aged 4 when taking to the beach and then was surprised when ds threw up in the car. Failed to notice sunburnt back so did not apply aftersun. I found out after returning from a week away looking after my aged mum, post hip op.

V reproachful of me when more recently I was so immersed in su doku that I forgot to meet ds in changing rooms, leaving him wet and alone with no towel for more than 10 mins. Mea culpa, Bad Mummy.

Dophus Thu 01-Mar-07 15:16:09


My DP did that too! He was really embarrassed though as he had to complete the class he had taken him too (only bloke with a lot of Mum's)

majorstress Thu 01-Mar-07 14:59:45

That if one of his dds or I am ill, he does not automatically have to become ill himself, becoming MORE helpless than any of us and creating loads of extra work for me.

exbury Thu 01-Mar-07 14:45:13

lanismum - did he find that out before or after he drowned a child?

lanismum Thu 01-Mar-07 14:36:16

that there is a HUGE difference between swim nappies and normal nappies <sigh>

Berries Thu 01-Mar-07 14:14:05

That starting a request with 'I would prefer you to...' IS giving the child a choice, and they can just choose the opposite. If it's non-negotiable ffs just TELL THEM. He then whinges at me because they don't do what he wants them to.

Also, if I say we're leaving in 10 minutes, how come I can get myself and 2 dds ready by the front door, but he still hasn't got his shoes on?

Apart from this he is lovely by the way, and can put a bobble in a ponytail whilst pushing a shopping trolley

Chooster Thu 01-Mar-07 14:11:15

DH thinks that he can somtimes not bother warning DS before putting him on the nuaghty step.

He also thinks that if he SHOUTS REALLY LOUD, DS will actually do as he asks

Last night he also didn't understand why I was pissed off when I came in from work at 5.30 to find out that DS had slept for an hour from 4pm to 5pm and he still hadn't eaten... Needless to say he (DS not DH) was still awake at 9.45pm last night and then tired when he woke at his normal 6.30am

mrsdarcy Thu 01-Mar-07 13:58:30

That when your children are aged 1 and 3, a child-level cupboard is not a good place for a litre of soy sauce. Especially in the beautiful new kitchen that has just been fitted.

cat64 Thu 01-Mar-07 12:37:14

That when it's time for us all to leave the house for work / breakfast club in the morning, the important thing is to get them out of the house, not to have a theoretical arguement about ... "well at their age they should be able to do x, y, or z, for themselves"

MorocconOil Thu 01-Mar-07 11:35:18

Oh I forgot- he also tells them not to splash him if they all go swimming together.

He'e pretty good most of the time though.

MorocconOil Thu 01-Mar-07 11:32:27

Expects 5 and 7 dss to tidy their Beirut looking bedroom by just shouting'tidy your room now!' and leaving them to it.

Commands them to find a pair of socks when there aren't any in the sock drawer! He wouldn't have a clue where to start looking himself.

Expects them to do their homework without any help.

sputnik Thu 01-Mar-07 10:51:01

That small children in the supermarket go in the trolley, in the SEAT. Only.

Dophus Thu 01-Mar-07 10:40:37

Yup - all of the above...

- appropriate clothing
- matching clothing
- when DS1 (25months) says no - ignore him
- needs feeding at least three times a day at the same time
- needs nap every day (at the same time)
- boy's day is not cbeebies day
- It is not appropriate to palce highchair in fornt of telly at meal times
- you can't catch a cold by beign cold
- swimming is not life threatening if you have a cold
- cats do not kill babies
- bath before wind down
- wind down before bed
- bed is at the same time every day
- If DS reappears after going to bed - giving him a chocolate is not the best course of action (FFS)
- When DS cries int he night because he want sto be in bedd with us - putting him there is not the solution to restful nights

shall I go on?

Bozza Thu 01-Mar-07 10:18:26

Have to say though that my 2 are very warm blooded which is why they don't have vests. would expect most children to need a vest.

Muminfife Thu 01-Mar-07 10:03:30

that even if you put something slightly out of a toddler's reach, they can still get to it.
yesterday it was a broken vase!!!
he must have borken it and thought if he told me i'd yell at him and he'd be late leaving. so he just left it on the countertop in the kitchen - about 2 " from the edge.
I noticed later that ds was using a tube from the hoover to knock things off the surface while muttering about raisins.
he got as far as an opened tin of pilchards or some other type of nasty fish from wartime- which is also a bit of a hazard and a pain to clean- before i waddled over to stop him - by chance he didn't knock the vase over.

he does it with mugs too.
of hot tea.
but i don't know why i should expect sense out of someone that eats tiny stinky fish with their bones still in.

prettybird Thu 01-Mar-07 09:38:07

I still haven't got a lot of these things and ds is 6!

trice Thu 01-Mar-07 09:32:41

that if you give in to the begging and let impressionable 5 year old ds watch dr who just before bed then he will get screaming night terrors.

adath Thu 01-Mar-07 09:26:37

_pretty much anything to do with getting DS ready is too much for my DH. Seriously. he'll get his jacket and shoes on and stand there waiting by the door while I simultaneously get my jacket and shoes on, DS's jacket and shoes on AND pack a back with nappies food drinks etc_

Oooh another one dp does, gosh this thread is making me wonder whether my dp has many brains at all actually.

ellieandhattie Thu 01-Mar-07 08:53:41

i always put vests on my 2 dd's mia

MiaWallace Thu 01-Mar-07 08:34:45

Well there's me told

pishwasher Thu 01-Mar-07 08:23:15

or he'll get himself (and sometimes me) breakfast/lunch/dinner and go sit down to eat. Ummm, honeypie? DS needs to eat too.

pishwasher Thu 01-Mar-07 08:21:59

pretty much anything to do with getting DS ready is too much for my DH. Seriously. he'll get his jacket and shoes on and stand there waiting by the door while I simultaneously get my jacket and shoes on, DS's jacket and shoes on AND pack a back with nappies food drinks etc!!!!!!!!!


Bozza Thu 01-Mar-07 08:20:26

My two hardly ever wear vests.

bloss Thu 01-Mar-07 08:06:17

Message withdrawn

franke Thu 01-Mar-07 07:33:20

That the kids need breakfast in the morning...

sigh.....see you later

MiaWallace Thu 01-Mar-07 07:21:48

Just to clarify - The option is not what ones she should wear, but whether she needs to wear them at all.

MiaWallace Thu 01-Mar-07 07:20:54

When dressing dd, dp thinks a vest and socks is optional

BibiThree Wed 28-Feb-07 11:41:45

DH still doesn't get it that:

just becuause DDs top and trousers are both pink, it doesn't mean they "go together" well

DD's hair needs more than a tentative stroking over the top with a hairbrush in the mornings

big man fingers and bobbles/bunches do not work well together and to just put a slide in

if you teach her the word boobies/goolies/bumhols, she WILL use them, probably in public

slowreader Wed 28-Feb-07 11:07:58

He also dealt with the problem of howling-grandaughter-in-pram ( I foolishly left him in charge for half an hour) by stuffing cotton wool in his ears.

Flower3554 Wed 28-Feb-07 10:43:25

Priceless slowreader. I've just woken Lo laughing out loud

slowreader Wed 28-Feb-07 10:40:53

My father (after 4 children and 3 grandchildren) said to my 3 year old son, on being asked politely for a drink, 'but I don't know what you drink darling.'


They agreed



Bozza Wed 28-Feb-07 10:39:37

DH cannot do a thing with DD's hair. He can't even manage to put a clip in so that it is not in her eyes.

her Wed 28-Feb-07 10:33:08

my MIL doesn't get the five minute wanring thing either.
when she is ready to go home, she just ups and leaves, leaving dd1 in floods of tears

That he can't expect to actually WATCH something on the telly without interuptions while dd's are still up. Esp when he gets home 1 hr before bedtime and dd1,3, has been dying to see him all day.

That if we've had a fight that day and it's unresolved when we go to bed, I won't want sex. He seems genuinely unable to grasp this one!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has however seemed to realise that a 5 min warning is so much easier. And that setting the timer for her 1/2 hour on the computer means she will get off with no fuss at all.

LadyOfTheFlowers Wed 28-Feb-07 10:25:20

that toddlers dont care if he is trying to listen to the news/play xbox etc.

throckenholt Wed 28-Feb-07 10:21:11

of not od.

throckenholt Wed 28-Feb-07 10:21:00

the importance od a matching pair of socks .....

her Wed 28-Feb-07 10:15:44

that hot cross buns half an hour before dinner time are not such a good idea

Skribble Wed 28-Feb-07 10:14:15

You can't say to the kids right time to go to school at 8:45 and expect them to be ready at 8:46.

They need at least 15mins to brush teeth and hair, put shoes on, get bags, get lunch money and get out the door.

morningpaper Wed 28-Feb-07 09:42:10

How to adjust the car seat

How to collapse the buggy

Pink trousers and red spotty top doesn't look very good

singersgirl Wed 28-Feb-07 09:39:40

That if he's saying to the children "Get ready now" he actually needs to be ready himself, with shoes and coat on, by the front door, not faffing around on his Blackberry in the sitting room - because they don't think he means it.

ellieandhattie Wed 28-Feb-07 09:26:21

seat not sea
voice not voicw

ellieandhattie Wed 28-Feb-07 09:25:43

forgot the car seat one - dh can strap the dd's in their seats but wouldnt have a clue how to fit them into the car if he needed to change the seats to another car and can only get dd1 into her sea wth copious (sp) amount of bribery where as I just do the mummy voicw and she cooperates

adath Wed 28-Feb-07 07:54:12

*dh says he doesn't know how to strap ds2 into car seat, 3rd baby, same car seat*

My dp too we have a different car seat actually but it fastens in EXACTLY the same way as then old one which he had to learn to fasten really quickly while I was in hospital having ds and he and my dad had to bring dd to see me.

twoisplenty Tue 27-Feb-07 22:41:44

Dh says to ds "you need an early night because you stayed up late last night". does he expect ds to say "ok dad, yes an early night sounds just the ticket!!"??

Dh does it at least once per week!

emkana Tue 27-Feb-07 22:38:32

Well, I did point it out to him, but he admitted straight away to be wrong (which is rare for him!) and he sulked only a teeny weeny bit.

He's not bad I guess...

Skribble Tue 27-Feb-07 22:34:23

DH doesn't seem to get that kids remember everything said and will not be amused if you don't go through with something.

fryalot Tue 27-Feb-07 22:30:43

That children don't understand the difference between the programme he's been waiting all week to watch and .....jump on daddy and scream really loudly time!

berolina Tue 27-Feb-07 22:27:20

Dh. Left. 21mo. Ds. Alone. In. The. Bath.

It was 'only' to pop into the next room and get something, but I was incandescent.

badelaide Tue 27-Feb-07 22:24:42

dh says he doesn't know how to strap ds2 into car seat, 3rd baby, same car seat

kama Tue 27-Feb-07 22:22:16

Exbury - I thought that too!

WestCountryLass Tue 27-Feb-07 21:40:03

Glad to know I am not alone, my DH does nearly all of these

exbury Tue 27-Feb-07 20:44:34

emkana - your DH realised his mistake? without you pointing it out and him sulking? and he did something about it?

That, and the fact that he was bathing DDs in the first place, would make him near-as-dammit perfect in our household!

themoon66 Tue 27-Feb-07 20:39:24

Mine never seemed to understand that in crowded shops, you DO NOT under any circumstances, let go of the toddler! You certainly DO NOT stick your nose in a magazine in a city centre WHSmiths and expect a 2 year to amuse herself!

ellieandhattie Tue 27-Feb-07 20:34:28

that dd needs her juice beaker refilled or she'll not ask and just won't drink

she has hairy mclary book every night at bedtime do not deviate with a different book she knows its hairy mclary then sleep

that although shes dry in the day she needs a nappy at night (shes 2.5)

that dd2 at 7 weeks old does need her nightfeed and that turning over and sticking duvet over his ears will not put the bottle in the mouth and stop her crying

WinkyWinkola Tue 27-Feb-07 20:21:51

Forgetting DS's nap when I'm not about and then wondering why he is having to handle a meltdown come the afternoon.

Making DS sit for fifty minutes in front of a web cam then wondering why DS starts whining and wriggling.

But he's a good, loving dad. I think it's because he's not here all day every day that he forgets some stuff.

kama Tue 27-Feb-07 20:15:54

1. Not to change nappies in the living room right next to people (i.e myself) eating at the table.

2. Not to put on all the outer clothes then spend ages leaving the house so that the child overheats/gets impatient. And also not taking off all the outerclothes immediately after coming back into the house.

3. The importance of winding down before bed time.

4. Not having volume so loud as to damage their ears.

charmkin Tue 27-Feb-07 20:10:00

mine hasn't realised that they need tea EVERY night!

and that saying ds come here won't work
he is 1

wordgirl Tue 27-Feb-07 20:07:10

After over 13 years of parenting DH still can't get his head around the fact that they don't obey his every word He seems to think that if he asks them to do something they will actually do it whereas I very quickly realised that this wasn't in fact the case!

adath Tue 27-Feb-07 20:05:19

DP only does the 5 minute warning in the bath has not yet managed to apply it to the rest of dd's life yet.

FrayedKnot Tue 27-Feb-07 20:04:57

Dh has been a parent for 20 years and I STILL have to remind him about the 5 minute warning thing.

He also gives DS way too much choice for a 2.11 year old.

DH "Shall we go swimming today, DS?"

DS "No"

Me "Well, that's that idea stuffed, then".

Legacy Tue 27-Feb-07 20:04:51

That 'winding down' at the end of the day is important for a pleasant bedtime.

DH still does mad shrieking and chasing of naked boys around the bedrooms after bath, and then wonders why they are always 'so naughty' for him at bedtime?


Kbear Tue 27-Feb-07 20:01:32

ah, they don't always know the finer points do they? Five minute warning essential IMO!!

My DH asks the kids if they're hungry, they always say no. Half an hour later, no dinner cooked, two starving kids! I put dinner in front of them and say "eat up" and they do!!

emkana Tue 27-Feb-07 19:58:38

woy are your dh's all perfect?

emkana Tue 27-Feb-07 19:36:16

... that our dd's always ALWAYS need a five minute warning before finishing an activity they enjoy...

today dh was fed up and wanted bath time over with quickly, so he just pulled the plug out and said "right come out now"

cue mega tears...

it was so bad (and he felt so bad when he realized his mistake of not warning them) that he actually ran them a second bath

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