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Childhood Depression?..Just normal?...Just his personality?

3 replies

knakered · 19/02/2007 15:22

I have an 8 year old son who has frequent (1-2/week)emotional sessions that involve a lot of painful tears, red faced frustration, distress etc around...nobody loves me, I never get invited to xyz, stop annoying me...they are annoying me...last year it was really bad and I thought directly related to his school change - crying every day for a year..."I have no friends...everyone is mean to me.."...after hoping he would settle and working with school to asses whether there was a bullying situation to no improvement we moved his school - all is now happy on the school front ...but we now have the same outburst over home related incidents and sometimes in the school run car journies -- he either has a low iritability threshold as he sames to be unable to cope with boyish banter - or waht is worrying me now is it something more??...there is a history fo depression in the family ...my grandfather, couple of cousins _ I have experienced bleak periods in my life where I have felt paralysed by normal life and had PND - however I had thought the family bit is possibly only the population average (I have a massive familY) and I had a very difficult
childhood so have attributed my situation to this. I look at my son and am terrified that He may have to feel and does feel how I felt...is it "just normal"...is it "just his character"...or is it some level of depression?...how do I know?....how can i best help him?...or am I just being unrealistic that all children are sunny little souls - I have 3 others Children and thye do not exhibit thihs kind of emotion

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NoDoubt9901 · 20/02/2007 11:49

Have you spoken to him about how he feels? I don't have a child that old but you might be able to get a greater understanding of how he feels if you discuss it with him. Maybe go and speak to an understanding GP, it might help you understand a bit more or s/he might put in touch with someone to help set your mind at ease. I am not qualified to have an opinion TBH, your post did catch my eye as my DD's bio dad was severely depressed and suffered from a mental illness. I worry myself sick about my DD and pull apart and try to evaluate everything she says/does. I do think that that is a danger, you become over paranoid and pick on things that maybe aren't as bad as you think they are...iyswim. I hope someone else can give you a better answer.

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DetentionGrrrl · 20/02/2007 12:12

all kids are different, so can't really compare to another child you have. I'd be reluctant to label him at this age as having a 'problem', some kids are more emotional than others, he may grow out of it, it may be his personality.

having a chat to your GP (without DS) can't hurt if you're really concerned.

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ChristmasPud · 20/02/2007 12:31

I would say take it seriously but don't think of it as labelling him with a 'problem'. He may be expressing these feelings that nobody likes him because he now has this impression because he was bullied in the past. Even though he is not being bullied now he may have the assumption based on past exprience that other children won't like him. I was bullied at primary school by other children and also by a teacher. I still find it hard to accept sometimes that people's 1st reaction to me isn't a negative one. I remember one inicident standing in the kitchin crying and holding and knife telling my mother I wanted to die - and bless her all she did was tell me to stop being silly (In a nice way I mean). But I knew I did actually feel that way and wasn't just being badly behaved.

It may be worth looking into what child counselling is available to try and help him build up his confidence and have more of an emotional defence against the world. Counselling with children generally involves them doing things like painting about how they feel rather than being as verbal and analytical as adult counselling. Perhaps if he had this now it could help nip things in the bud and make him less prone to depression later e.g. in teenage or adult years. Also it may become his personality because if it becomes ingrained over the years perhaps. Going through the GP and NHS will probably mean a long waiting list - but there may be a local voluntary orgainisation that offers counselling at a reduced rate or private counsellors if you are in a position to pay. He may still have a disposition to react to things more than other children - but it might help him manage it.

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