Sibling relationships - advice/books I can read?

[redclover79]

Hi
I'm 31 weeks pg with my second and although I talk with ds every day about when I have the baby, I'm worried about how it will all go when it actually happens! DS is 2.9 and although he's not clingy I'm worried about how he's going to handle a new baby and receiving my divided attention!
Are there any books I can read so I can prepare myself? I am an older child and I remember HATING my brother the whole time I was growing up!

[saintmaybe]

I like 'siblings without rivalry' by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish,

Don't assume that it will be hard for your ds1; it might or might not be, probably a mixture, but try not to decide that for him!

Aww, good luck!!!

[funnypeculiar]

agree with saintmaybe that it MAY be better than you expected-it was for us!
We just read everything we could find about new babies to ds when I was expecting dd - I just went to the library & asked for everything they'd got!

Other advice would be all the obvious stuff, which I'm sure you know already ... make lots of fuss of your eldest, expect him to go off YOU for a bit (ds was fine with the baby, but a little sh*t with me for a couple of weeks); let him help with baby stuff - eg dribbling water over tummy at bathtime. chosing clothes, telling you why lo is crying(!) etc A good bit of advice I was given was that children often find babies interesting rather than loveable - eg ds was obsessed with the fact that dd did YELLOW poo - we made the most of that!
And, finally, practical advice - if you can, stock up on little, wrapped presents for ds in case of 'emergancy' (eg need to feed lo, ds looking ready to kick off) - we hardly had to use them, but nice to know they were there (obviously, CBeebies/DVDs are an alternative route to the same thing!

Good luck ... & have fun!

[redclover79]

Meant to reply to these on Weds but ds was on one and I never got round to hitting the post message button!
Thanks for the book title saintmaybe will look on amazon when I get paid!
Funnypeculiar thanks for the advice, esp the poo thing!?
I'm sure I'm just adding another thing to my 'list of things I need to worry about before I have this baby' list!

[sanae]

I also recommend "siblings without rivalry" - recommended to me by my health visitor when I'd just had my third and my first two seemed to be fighting all the time. I had my three very close so they all have to "deal with each other" a lot. As with all these books, didn't solve the problems completely but useful insights into the sibling relationship and useful strategies to try - in fact, I'm glad you've reminded me of them!