Preparing DC1 for arrival of DC2 - top tips please!

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

DS is 2 and very possessive of me (the cat got told off this morning for daring to sit on my lap )

Currently pregnant with DC2 - not due for 5 months yet.

We may have to move house around the time of the new baby arriving as well.

Please share your top tips for preparing DS and managing the transition!

[Sparrowlegs248]

Following as in a similar position but with a smaller age gap. Ds will be 18 months old when Dc2 arrives. Quite little to understand I think but I'd like to prepare him if I can.

[kiki22]

I have a 4.5 year gap so its been much easier to explain to ds1 about babies needs but from the start I referred to ds2 as your baby your brother never the baby or mummies baby, I got him to choose clothes and toys for his brother and once ds2 came along involved him in everything and ask him to look after his brother while I pop to the loo or whatever.

I never tell him to stay away from ds2 let him kiss and hug him whenever he wants ds2 has got used to it. I also tell him he's my favourite but not to tell ds2 lol.

[kavvLar]

Things that I found helped:

Princess Polly / pirate Pete brand books talking about becoming a big brother / sister. Will try and link. These are very good at getting them used to what will happen. www.waterstones.com/book/im-a-new-big-sister-a-princess-polly-book/amanda-li/9781409313731

Getting them to 'talk to the baby' in your tummy and then making ENORMOUS fuss about how baby is moving and can hear their voice / is so pleased to hear their big brother / sister etc

If you are in hospital then when DC are brought in to visit baby for first time be sure to get some warning and try and have baby in the crib so you are not holding them. Then you can take DC by the hand and meet baby together. Also a present from the baby to DC went down remarkably well.

Once home it will be tricky but was easier than I thought. Plan in special time with older DC, take them out by themselves even if just to park or for cake, and give them a special 15 minutes a day where they get to call the shots and choose the activity and you go along with it ( thinking baking / art/ lego rather than trashing the place). Apparently gives them some control back over their environment.

Lastly a trick we have massively benefited from is this. Oldest DC was very upset when the littler one got attention or praise from us. We took to saying 'oh how brilliant look baby has done this, she must have been watching her big sister do it, look DD you have shown your baby sister a really good example '. Astonishing results.

Good luck, it will be easier than you think

[kavvLar]

Also try not to freak out and scream when older one tries to pick younger one up by the head DD1 I'm looking at you just don't leave them alone together for the first few weeks

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Thanks for the ideas.

He'll be approaching his 3rd birthday by the time the baby arrives.

We are starting to get him used to the idea that there is a baby in mummy's tummy (he like to shout 'Hello baby!' at my bump!). Good idea about referring to it as your baby brother/sister.

We weren't planning to find out the sex of the baby, but do you think this would help DS to know?