16 month old hates her dad!

[Rubbishmummy22]

Hi I'm a first time poster, normally just read but I really need advice! My dd 16 months has always been a mummy's girl, she just always wants me. Recently however it has got to the point where she seems to hate her daddy.

She is a really affectionate baby (always kissing and cuddling/running into my arms) with me, and sometimes with other friend or family, but she will not do anything with dh. I'm really baffled as to what's going on. She won't let him read to her (she just holds the book out to be saying mama mama) put her to bed (she just screams) bath her (more screaming) feed her (won't eat) or even be alone in a room with her (again more screaming)

My poor dh is so upset by this and is backing off from her as the constant rejection if making him so sad.

I'm also exhausted as it would be lovely if he could do things with her to give me some downtime. Feel like I can't say this to him though as I am the lucky one in this.

He is honestly such a lovely dad but she just won't have any of it. I really don't no what to do!

[ffab]

Hello, and welcome. So sorry to hear about your daughter's reaction to DH. Firstly I know it's not quite on topic but could you reconsider your name. Maybe it's a joke but calling yourself 'rubishmummy' does seem to be putting yourself down when you are obviously anything but.

Secondly your daughter's reaction to get father does soundd extreme in one so young. Are you sure there haven't been any incidents in which he may inadvertently have frightened her? Excessive tickling for instance can frighten children.

I am certainly not an expert but I would suggest he backs off for a while and waits for her to approach him. Maybe he is trying too hard and making things worse.

[mammybops]

My youngest went through this phase but it wasn't limited to my husband...all the men she encountered got the same reaction.

With us it started around age 1 and didn't really start getting better until she was around 2 and a half.

It devasted my husband, and to be honest he did back off rather than be rejected which seemed to be a middle ground she could deal with, occasionally joining him when it suited her.

Now they're inseparable and DD1 and I joke about their (DD2 and DH) little secret club.

As long as you're confident (as I was and sounds like you are too) that nothing else is happening that you aren't aware of then just reassure your husband that he needs to be patient and his time of being 'the one' will come and it'll be you who feels left out and him that gets no rest (at least that's how it works here...we seem to have 'the one' cycles).

[Lovesmypinkones]

Lots of little ones prefer their mummy as they're with them most of the time.
Could dad take her to the park on his own, have some alone time, taking you out of the equation.
She may surprise you both.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I would second him being alone with her . He could take her swimming or to soft play . Maybe you could go out with friends so that he can do some of the parenting at home without you there . They need to build a relationship . My ds actually favoured my dh and it crushed me .. when he took a week of work by day 2 I was almost being ignored my ds . So I would take him out to just remind him I was also there x

[milkshakeandmonstermunch]

DD1 was the same at that age OP! DH works and I was a SAHM then worked pt so DD was with me most of the time. DD wanted me to do everything and rejected DH. He found it so hard. From about 2 things started to improve. The more she let him do, the more he did with her and then the more she let him do iykwim. She is nearly 3 now and daddy is her "best best friend in the whoooole world". I am cast aside at 6pm every day and get ignored all weekend . Ideal really as DD2 has arrived now. I have several friends who have had the same and it is so hard on the dads.

[norbert23]

Same here, we've just had a very clingy month 16 and she's mellowing out a bit and getting back to being a bit more normal. She has every Friday with daddy though and that helps as she doesn't get the option to choose me (I'm at work) so it might also be one of those things where she'd be better if you're not there - go get some me time and they can have a bit of playing and cuddles x