Im so jealous it really really hurts!

[fishpie]

I have known this family for approx 10 yrs( they are ok people- IYKWIM.) just an average ordinary family- Mum, Dad and 2DDs aged 10 and 13yrs. Every Thursday evening I take my DD3 swimming and this family are there, usually its just the Mum and 2DDs(the youngest one has lessons too!) To cut a long story short is that they are sooooooo nice to each other, I have never seen the eldest DD strop or moan, they just sit around talking and every now and then you hear a laugh. The eldest is prepared to help the younger child etc. Its lovely to watch.
What happens in my house is all 3DDs fight, argue and strop even thou we have rules about not behaving like that in public. My dd who is almost 13 refuses to come with me and if I do make or she relents she is an absolute nightmare- what am I doing wrong? We are as I would describe to anyone that we are an average family, tell our dDs off when necessary, encourage homework,praise the good, not smack etc, so why cant my DDs behave like this??????

[mummymic]

i think that they are not a normal family and must bribe their children, or use electric shock treatment whenever in public in order to maintain their 'perfect' public persona!!
we are not like that and we are a pretty normal family!

[Spoo]

I am not an expert (is anyone on here?) but I don't thing you are not doing anything wrong. I often feel like this with my kids. My eldest is stubborn and fiercly independent and whilst I see that most two year olds are similar I do battle with him on a whole host of stuff and he has no qualms in showing me up in public and making me feel like the most incompetent mother on the planet. Friends have commented on his determined nature. However, I wouldn't change him for the world. I love the fact that he is individual and will challenge the world. These girls that you see may be well behaved gentle and kind , compliant? but that is probably not the whole story and they probably have characteristics that enfuriate their parents. I am sure that your daughters have qualities that you really like. To me your near 13 year old sounds REALLY normal. I would stop looking at others kids and start to see your girls for who they really are. Have you spoken to this mother - maybe her life is perfect - but I don't believe anyone who says it.