Baby visiting stepson in prison

(25 Posts)
user1476349587 Thu 13-Oct-16 10:18:40

Hi, would you be happy to take your baby when visiting his sibling or half sibling in prison? Has anyone got experience of this? It doesn't seem a good environment for a baby.

NapQueen Thu 13-Oct-16 10:19:32

How old?

And what crime (not being nosy but if he is in for child abuse then it'd be a no regardless!)

user1476349587 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:22:02

He is in for sexual inactivity with minors.

user1476349587 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:22:40

He is 19 years old

TormundGiantsbabe Thu 13-Oct-16 12:23:23

Not a chance.

mouldycheesefan Thu 13-Oct-16 12:24:35

No and i wouldn't be bothering to go myself either.

FV45 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:25:05

What's sexual inactivity?

Whatever it is, if sex and minors are involved then of course I wouldn't take a baby there.

BastardGoDarkly Thu 13-Oct-16 12:25:45

You got answers on your other thread!?

Minus that little snippet though, so no, now I know what he's in for, I wouldn't.

(You're not allowed duplicate threads btw)

Vixxfacee Thu 13-Oct-16 12:26:13

It's his step dad not even his dad.
Not quite chance even if it was his dad.
What is sexual inactivity anyway?

BastardGoDarkly Thu 13-Oct-16 12:29:04

It's a step sibling to the baby isn't it?

Guessing the inactivity is a typo for activity?

FenellaMaxwell Thu 13-Oct-16 12:33:06

Would I take a child to visit someone in prison for sex offences against children? hmm you really need to ask that question?! Not a chance in hell!

MidnightVelvetthe7th Thu 13-Oct-16 12:38:21

I would take a baby yes, but an older child (4 or older) no as a 4 year old doesn't need to know about prisons or crimes or sexual abuse & such a visit would lead to these difficult questions. Of course these questions could be answered, I'd just rather not at that age.

If I understand your OP correctly its not that you think the baby would be at risk of harm, more that the environment isn't right for a baby? It also would depend on the crime, if the prisoner only found 13 year old boys with brown hair attractive then a female baby is not at risk from him. However I wouldn't take my 13 year old brown haired son, obviously!

RockinHippy Thu 13-Oct-16 12:53:20

I'm a bit confysedconfused

You are asking if its a good idea, to take your baby to visit his 19yo stepbrother in prison & stepbrother is in prison for sexual activity with a minor - is that right ??

A lot depends on the circumstances & age of the minor he is accused of sexual activity with & how old SS was at the time of the offence.

If he was 17/18 & was in a relationship with a 15 yo, then depending on a few factors it wouldn't be quite so bad to take a baby to visit

In any other circumstances you need to protect your baby & keep away

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 13-Oct-16 12:55:40

If he was 17/18 & was in a relationship with a 15 yo, then depending on a few factors it wouldn't be quite so bad to take a baby to visit

Would you really go to prison for six years for that? (As he's been there for three, five or take, and automatic release at 50%...)

AmeliaJack Thu 13-Oct-16 13:00:16

No.

PotteringAlong Thu 13-Oct-16 13:02:06

No. and he would never see them again.

Cel982 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:03:24

Well, the baby's not going to be in any danger regardless of what the crime was, is he/she? hmm That's not really the issue. It's whether the prison environment is suitable for a baby. If it's very small I don't think there's any problem, but an older toddler would be more difficult to manage. I suppose the question is why you wuld being the baby - is it convenience, or to foster some sort of relationship between them? In which case, given the nature of the offence, it's probably not something you'd want to encourage.

RockinHippy Thu 13-Oct-16 13:03:38

You've lost me Anchor confused

I don't see where the OP has mentioned he's there for 6 years? But if so, then yes you are right

I was factoring in the time it might take to get through the legal system, so the offence could have happened at a younger age

Though that said, I have just spotted the OP said minors - if thats not a typo & its more than one offence - then there is no way in hell should she be keeping up contact between him & child siblings

Cel982 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:03:52

*would bring

user1476349587 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:13:28

Yes inactivity was a typo. And yes I've made two threads by mistake.

The 19 year old half brother to my baby boy has had sex with a 14 year old. I don't have any concern about my baby's safety in terms of being in the prison environment or from his half brother.

By environment I meant actually visiting the prison as I've never been inside a prison before so it is all new to me.

And yes I also am asking myself big questions at the moment about whether I want my baby to have any relationship with his half brother at all in the future. It's all been very recent so I'm still dealing with the shock of it. It's a horrible situation.

MidnightVelvetthe7th Thu 13-Oct-16 13:25:58

Don't make any rash decisions, there's time to think about it yet. You don't have to decide on any future relationship right now.

I'm assuming the half brother is your partner's son, not your son also.

I'd not take the baby for the first few times as you're likely to be emotional & the baby will pick up on that. Visit alone & get to know the layout & the environment then maybe take the baby at a later time.

Scribblegirl Thu 13-Oct-16 13:31:17

How old is your baby?

On a basic level I don't think prisons are necessarily somewhere children shouldn't go; I know a couple of people who visited their fathers in prison when younger and I think the benefit of maintaining the relationship outweighed any upset about the prison environment.

However it's really up to you as to whether maintaining the relationship is indeed worth it in this instance. The fact that a 19 year old in prison for a (presumably consensual) sexual relationship with a 14 year old does suggest to me that there's more to this than we're aware of.

user1476349587 Thu 13-Oct-16 14:10:59

My baby is nine months old. We don't know the full facts yet until the sentencing takes place as my partner's son has not been honest with us. The cautious approach sounds best, I will probably leave the baby with a friend and go without him for now to prison visits.Thanks for the advice.

RockinHippy Thu 13-Oct-16 14:33:23

Good luck User that sounds like a horrible situation to be in & until you know more, this sounds like a good sensible plan flowersflowers

AndNowItsSeven Thu 13-Oct-16 14:39:32

I don't think would go to prison for conseual sex with a 14 year at age 19.
It is very wrong and a criminal convention is appropriate, I very much doubt it would be custodial.
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