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DD likes girls who don't t much like her...

4 replies

peanutbutterkid · 06/02/2007 11:17

DD (5) most likes 2 girls in her class who are very good mates with each other, and never that friendly to DD. They are friendly to other girls in the class, just not DD!

This has been situation for almost a year, I tried (often) inviting the 2 girls around for playdates, but they never come.

Recently the 2 girls had birthday parties and DD not invited. At some point DD may notice that these girls aren't interested in her friendship... if she's upset, what do I say? Thankfully she does have other friends.

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fennel · 06/02/2007 11:29

I think it must be quite common. There are usually a few children who everyone wants to be friends with and it isn't going to happen.

My dd1 (6) wants to invite older, cool boys round to play. They aren't usually that keen .

I don't know really what you do about it except try and find/encourage more realistic friendships. Or see if you can find out what she might be doing to put them off. My dd1 isn't really the best at making friends, she backs off when other children are friendly half the time, so I suppose it's just something she'll have to learn or work out for herself to some extent.

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dejags · 06/02/2007 11:31

Personally, this is one of the worst bits of parenting.

I was always the little kid who was left out and am ultra-sensitive to it when it comes to my kids.

She will definitely notice (if she hasn't done so already). If she asks I would just be truthful and explain that we can't be friends with everybody. I do think it's a bit mean that they won't accept a playdate at the age of 5 though - perhaps if you make a date for their mum's to accompany them it could work?

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fennel · 06/02/2007 11:36

It is hard. my 5yo dd2 gets invited to lots more parties and playdates than my 6yo dd1. I'd say my dd1 is actually a nicer child, in that she's more sensitive and selfless, but she's not as good at managing the playground dynamics and making herself popular.

I would focus on the friends your dd has though, at least she has some.

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peanutbutterkid · 09/02/2007 21:04

You're right, fennel. I fear she's way too much like me (very quirky and sulky!).

A little girl who used to really like DD but DD has gone off (inverse problem) had 3 mates around the other night for birthday tea, including one of these girls DD likes (but not DD). And DD was genuinely happy for her former-best friend. So maybe DD will be more resiliant than I fear.