Anyone else find being on Maternity leave lonely?

(17 Posts)
mummasays Wed 28-Sep-16 18:26:28

Just me and baby all day and twice a week hubby goes out to football training in the evening. I literally get so lonely please tell me I'm not the only one blush

Bluecarrot Wed 28-Sep-16 18:37:10

I enjoyed tots groups and met two of my closest friends there 13 years ago.
Our local leisure centres do buggy workouts and child friendly post natal classes.
I'm normally happy to be v solitary though so maybe you need more.... But it's a good starting point.

Spudlet Wed 28-Sep-16 18:41:47

Sometimes. You have to make yourself get out there and join groups etc. I did baby yoga, swimming and attended the local children's centre breastfeeding group (as an example) - managed to make a few friends at some of those.

It can be hard to motivate yourself to get out but it helps if you can. It gets easier as the baby gets older and becomes more of a human, less of a screaming animated ham.

8DaysAWeek Wed 28-Sep-16 18:41:56

Yep it's lonely. Pre-baby I was quite happy being on maternity leave, chilling out, doing what I wanted. Didn't really care about being alone. But for some reason I feel lonelier now that DS is here. He's 8 weeks now and I've enrolled in mum and baby yoga and a buggfit class so hopefully that will help. There's only so much wandering around shopping centres and museums I can do. Still though, getting out at all helps. I'm sure even just seeing people out and about helps loneliness

FlyingDragon Wed 28-Sep-16 18:44:31

I made a point of finding a baby group every morning. It was a bit tedious to begin with but gradually I did get to meet people and started to look forward to it. If sitting around talking to/trying to make conversation with strangers really isn't your thing, you could sign up to classes that focus on something - baby yoga, baby sensory, music, library rhyme time etc and then any chatting is usually done before or afterwards and feels a bit more natural.

Cinnamon2013 Wed 28-Sep-16 18:52:17

So lonely. I go to groups, I see people, I go to cafes, I get out the house all of the time. But when baby and toddler are screaming and crying or sick and it's just me that has to handle it it feels really lonely.

Well, that was cheerful! But you are not alone in feeling alone...

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs Wed 28-Sep-16 18:59:32

Oh I found it desperately lonely and craved adult interaction. I didn't find any mums and tots groups that I seemed to fit into but I loved the local library's nursery rhyme group great (lots of grannies are awfully friendly!) I walked...for miles and miles when ds was tiny. It helped me get out of the house and also shifted my baby weight. Good luck, OP, but you can always chat on MN if it all gets a bit much x

mummasays Wed 28-Sep-16 19:20:41

Glad I'm not the only one!! I do go to one class a week a stay and play just not sure of any others so may have to find others in my area. It's the evenings that are quiet seeing as baby goes to bed about 6.30/7ish then I'm just sat watching crap telly until hubby gets home late from footy training :-( maybe I need a hobby hmm

SquirrelPaws Wed 28-Sep-16 19:29:06

Desperately. I got to the point where I wouldn't call my mum or MIL to see if they were about, because if I didn't, I could hope someone might pop in, and if I did, and they were busy, I knew for sure I'd be on my own all day. I enjoyed the breastfeeding group and went to a few others, and had coffee with friends as often as I could, but mostly I was on my own with a tiny squeaking person who, as much as I loved her, was shit company. DH would come in from work and two or three times, get changed and go straight out again for sports. His reaction to fatherhood was a panic about keeping himself healthy, so he thought this was doing his best for DD.

Famalam13 Thu 29-Sep-16 11:06:25

Yes. I go to a group everyday and look forward to the day the cleaner comes as there is another adult in the house. I would say you need more than one class a week smile

basketofironing Thu 29-Sep-16 11:17:39

Echoing PPs, you definitely need more groups. I find I can't spend enough time out of the house lately. Sometimes it's the only way I can get some peace and quiet out of DD!

I have groups on three days a week and have made a few friends (outside of my nct group) and usually spend the spare days walking round locally, browsing shops, visiting museums/galleries/parks. Somehow being out of the house a lot, even if I'm still alone, feels much less lonely.

Rinceoir Thu 29-Sep-16 11:23:29

I found it quite lonely. I moved area at 36weeks, didn't do NCT and found everyone had their own little group afterwards. I found some groups that I liked, made a few friends. I also would put baby in sling, then hop on tube and go someplace in the day.

As for the evenings, I was happy enough at home, but you should maybe find a grown up hobby a day or two a week (like your DH has!).

Sun1983 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:21:39

Yep mummasays I'm on here now with crap telly in the background lb in bed since 7 bfriend at gym 3 nights a week gets in at 9ish by then I'm bored and think I may as well go to bed! Sometimes do little bits of housework saves me doing it during the day that passes a bit time. But my day times are full of busy although it's all mam and baby stuff

WalkThePlanky Thu 29-Sep-16 20:29:08

First time round I was terribly lonely. Now I've got two, I'm too knackered to be anything. I do think that the first year with a baby can leave you feeling a bit isolated because it's so consuming and it's harder to relate to normal people and them you. It passes though.

Boredmummy16 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:29:35

Yes it's very lonely.
I try to get out of the house most days but there's only so many times you can go to the supermarket !
I found it easier when my baby was younger and slept and fed most of the time as I could get stuff done or watch tv. Now she is older the days can feel very long, especially the hours leading up to bedtime.

nessa4 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:43:57

At five months I was on bed rest until J was born. I encouraged myself to go to baby massage, other activities and even a daily walk to the park. I made a few friends too and that helped structure the week.

RabbitsNap01 Thu 29-Sep-16 20:48:39

I went back to work early both times partly because it's lonely - ideally you need a morning activity and an afternoon plan - even if that plan is shopping and cooking dinner. I found I listened to the radio a lot and that helped a bit. It's probably much nicer if you have a pool of friends in a similar situation.

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