7yo Am I doing this right?

[TellMeStraight]

So nearly 7yo DD is an adorable, sweet bundle of joy.

But, she very very rarely does what she is asked when she is asked to do it.

Sometimes she will just point blank ignore an instruction, sometimes she's say "in a minute", sometimes she go off to do whatever but get distracted and end up reading a book instead.

This is a problem for two reasons.

1, it means I am constantly having to micro manage her morning and bedtime routine. And even then I am left utterly exasperated and cross with her.

2, if she's doing as she pleases now and the only repercussion is us running late - what happens when she's 13 and is continuing to do as she pleases?!!

I told her last night this can't continue. I've said she needs to take responsibility for herself a bit more. I've said I will help her to learn her morning and bedtime routines (timetable on the wall etc) but that from now on she will get asked once only. If I have to ask twice then she losses priviledges like going to parties (last night already lost her one of those) or after school hobby.

Is this OK? Am I being too harsh? Too weak???

[WowOoo]

I'm in the same boat with mine.

I've been giving him lots of time and warnings to get ready and I still find him naked and playing with Lego. Argh!

I think time warnings and choices help. Eg: don't start playing with that now as you're having a shower in 5 mins and won't have time to tidy it up; you've only got 10 minutes until it's time to go upstairs for a story so you need to eat supper now or there's no story. That's the kind of thing I say. I sometimes use a timer with an alarm - he loves this.

He has missed story time, TV time and having supper. These seem to have worked.... a bit.

I haven't been as harsh as you. He'd hate to miss a party. I remind myself that he far less awareness about time than me. But I have asked him why I have to ask him again and again to do something. Help!

[Floralnomad]

Way too harsh for me, but then my DC never had a morning or bedtime routine as such so I'm probably not the best person to judge . Ive always taken a very laid back approach and we all seem to have survived .

[TellMeStraight]

There was logic behind her losing the party. It's an evening party for a start and she's been up and down stairs last couple of nights, not getting to sleep until 9pm and then having trouble getting up for school.

She was told very clearly that if she wanted the party, she had to have good nights sleep the rest of the week. She knew this meant staying quiet and staying in bed. But 5 mins later she comes down again.

I just feel like there has to be consequences that are carried through. Not just endless 'one more chance'. I can't keep repeating myself, not being listened to and stay sane!!

I thought maybe I've babies her too much. Not let her make her own mistakes.

[TellMeStraight]

Babied her. (Is that a word?)

[Tiredqueen87]

If my DD (7) does not do what I've asked , I count down from 5 and then shit will hit the fan. 9 times out of 10 she does it