I want a friend who...

(5 Posts)
maybethedayafter Sun 25-Sep-16 21:12:41

...is just as shit as me at keeping in contact and knows there's no issue with that. Really, what I would like is a friend who I'm so close too that we just exist in each other's lives without effort, but unfortunately that doesn't come along every day. I want friends, I want to socialise but I'm so sick of feeling guilty for not being in touch more. They don't make me feel guilty, I do. Some days it's remarkable enough that I've got myself dressed, clean and fed, seeing people sometimes seems a step too far but I know I'm isolating myself by not doing it, hence the guilt.

These are the ramblings of a somewhat lonely, exhausted, post-natally depressed mother. Even I wouldn't want to be my friend.

Bagina Sun 25-Sep-16 21:17:46

Yep. Same here. Just to "be". I can't really be arsed to give too much. I'm busy. I'm knackered. I guess that's what dh is for. We just "be". I wish I had a friend who would just come round and flop on my sofa. Haven't had that since teen years.

LifeIsGoodish Sun 25-Sep-16 21:29:40

You are not the only one! I'm good at being a friend when I'm with people, but useless when I'm not. Even when I remember to phone, I never dare to - maybe they're eating, or putting the dd to bed, or want some quiet time with their OH, or even just to chill alone. After all, sometimes I do. And as for social media - I just don't get it!

So I'm lonely. And no-one knows that. Everyone thinks I'm vivacious and outgoing, and must have loads of friends. Sometimes I feel like I only exist when I'm around other adults. Alone I'm in a sort of stasis.

maybethedayafter Sun 25-Sep-16 21:35:13

I use social media as an excuse - if I've liked your photo/status I've "checked in" so now I don't need to call/text.

winteriscoming1 Wed 28-Sep-16 13:16:33

Oooh, I read this and thought 'that's just like me', so you're not the only one. I'm sometimes just pleased that I remembered to brush my hair and teeth before leaving the house and then you get to the school gates and their are mothers fully made up looking like they've just walked out of the Next catalogue.

Friends can be exhausting work. Be friends with yourself. But I know what you mean about having someone who just 'gets' you. I don't have that either, given up looking now.

Be happy just as you are, with your nearest and dearest, or get a cat. Cats are great, they don't give toss about anything.

Don't beat yourself up about not being sociable, not everyone is and if they are it's normally just an act and they'll be going home and crying into their tea and toast.

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