Does anyone else 'dislike' taking their children to toddler group??

(16 Posts)
Shootingstar2289 Sat 17-Sep-16 20:07:32

Ok, so I feel like I'm the only person who hates taking my young child to baby/toddler group. Am I alone?

It started off when I took my first born (now 4). He has never been naughty as such but 'challenging'. He has recently been diagnosed with Autism which explains his 'odd' behaviours. But I felt like other mums used to to judge me when he played up.

Now I have a 1 year old daughter and I have recently took her to toddler group for the first time as my partner keeps saying she needs to socialise, which she does but I get anxious about groups etc.

Anyway, my daughter was crawling around (she isn't quite waking well) and a mother was sat with her not yet mobile baby amongst all the toddlers and not in the special baby area they lay out. I seen my toddler starting to crawl towards the baby (she only wanted to look at him) so I immediately went over to pick her up. As I was about to pick her up the Mother nudged my daughter back to slide her back and looked at me like why is your daughter here? (She hadn't touched the baby or anything). I was quite shocked because it wasn't like I wasn't watching her and was letting her be boisterous around the baby. I was right there. She was also amongst all the madness of toddlers and toys and not in the safe baby spot they put out for that reason.

Truthfully, if a toddler as heading towards my baby I would pick my baby up out of the way from the child who is only playing doing what toddlers do.

Of course, the nudge didn't hurt my daughter. But I have been feeling really anxious about it and wish I said something but I hate a scene and it was my first time at the group.

I really don't want to go back. Am I being silly?

As well as that, the groups always seem so bitchy. She said that.. Who said that...

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose Sun 18-Sep-16 14:04:28

I have 2 dc under 3 and I know I'm probably supposed to go to these god awful things but I just hate them.

I hate the grubby toys and the manky old playmats and the instant coffee, and the snot and dribble from other people's children.

Luckily, my eldest is at preschool and they will both be in childcare when I go back to work, so they'll get the socialisation from that. We also have lots of friends their age who we see regularly (most days we meet friends with other toddlers), so we very rarely go to groups and soft play.

Give me a muddy park any day.

The other woman sounds rude, but I wouldn't read too much into it. Maybe she was in that area because she also had an older dc or her friend did or something. Just don't go back if you didn't enjoy it.

What about taking your dc to something a bit more structured, like a class or swimming lessons?

I know it's not this board but YANBU.

jimijack Sun 18-Sep-16 14:08:24

Torture, absolutely torturous.
I went because I thought I should for my son.
No one spoke to me, my child was challenging so it was hard work.

My second son I never went near. I don't want to, don't have to and so I didn't.

ShelaghTurner Sun 18-Sep-16 14:14:38

My youngest has just started school. No other children planned but really missing that scene. I've often wondered if parents would pay someone to take their child to music group/toddler group/baby gym etc. I'd love to do that and it would mean the kids get the stimulation and the parents gets time for a hot coffee and a long wee! grin

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Sun 18-Sep-16 14:32:25

Don't feel bad about not taking your children. They don't really socialise at that age anyway.

I hated toddler groups like you. There was always a weird undercurrent of competitive parenting and some parents watched their children like a hawk and got terribly funny if anyone went near them.

The conversation always felt a bit forced and I usually ended up with a headache afterwards just from the effort of being chatty and cheerful whilst stopping my son taking the other childrens' biscuits grin.

I'm sure there are some good ones out there but if you don't enjoy it, don't force yourself to go.

Mol1628 Sun 18-Sep-16 14:37:58

I find our toddler groups here pleasant and both my children enjoy them and I have made friends.

I hate them though, mostly because I can't tell tolerate other people's children well.

ftw Sun 18-Sep-16 14:45:26

I hated them.

Can you afford the more structured music/dance/football groups instead? They're usually about a fiver a go.

I got on far better with them.

Helloooomeee Sun 18-Sep-16 14:48:51

I have similar aged children and I hate them. I always feel like an outsider and it sends my anxiety into overdrive! My eldest is currently being investigated for aspergers and was very challenging. My youngest is much more placid so I do find it easier with him but I go home feeling like a freak with 3 heads when everyone else is in their little groups and I find it so hard to meet people and socialise... possibly where dc1 gets some of his issues from!

MrsA2 Sun 18-Sep-16 20:57:59

Hate them! My DD struggled with pushing other kids for a few months before she turned two and so I felt like I spent the whole time shadowing her incase she started to get too fiesta. And navigating sharing situations with toddlers in small church halls that automatically means they want the same one toy! I totally avoid them now. Parks, farms and even sports centres with soft play but acres of space are much easier. Agree about the very strange dynamic with other parents too.

Shootingstar2289 Sun 18-Sep-16 21:54:35

Thank for your kind replies! I am glad I am not the only one who seems to dislike them. I swear some of the parents at this group only go for the 'gossip'. I've recently moved to a village and after going to the group only once I've realised how bitchy this place actually is haha.

I am going try out some swimming groups instead as my dd loves water! There's also an indoor play area 8 miles away so am going to try that out too.

Boogers Sun 18-Sep-16 22:05:37

Shootingstar that's exactly what toddler groups are in a village setting - a place for people who have known each other all their lives to gossip and bitch. I HATED the toddler group in our village. Would rather have teeth pulled without anaesthetic than go to one again, ditto newborn baby groups.

EsmesBees Sun 18-Sep-16 22:11:02

See I quite liked the opportunity to sit down for 2 mins with a cup of tea while she runs around like a mad thing. I'm in a city though and it's a varied mix of parents so no gossiping going on.

dlnex Sun 18-Sep-16 22:29:41

I didn't like toddler group, and I have not enjoyed dealing with school, & some after school activity group type things - in one case, where I hang around to watch - it took 2 years for anyone to speak to me, but once they did they were really nice, and my DD played really well!

Only1scoop Sun 18-Sep-16 22:33:33

I went to one

Once

Never again

waitingforsomething Mon 19-Sep-16 06:42:39

I used to like one I went to with DD. It was in a big city so wide variety of parents/childminders attending and it was pretty laid back and well resourced. I live in a different setting now and HATE going with DS. It's a smaller area, stuck up competitive mums saying things like 'ahh can't he walk yet? My baby was walking at 10 months' to my 13 month old DS. I don't even bother anymore.
I guess it just depends where you live and what sort of groups are available to you.

Shootingstar2289 Mon 19-Sep-16 12:42:46

Definitely feel your pain Boogers haha. We live in Cornwall and it's like it everywhere in all honesty.

I had that problem about the walking too waitingforsomething. My son didn't walk until 16 months and my daughter has just turned 14 months and not walking. People like to treat everything as a competition. smile

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