Ds1 is 7. He's a lovely, caring boy - prone to getting a bit carried away with his enthusiasm sometimes - but always at the centre, well intentioned and kind.
He's been struggling with his writing for a while now and has esteem issues about his 'intelligence' - nothing that has filtered down from dh's and my attitudes, but it's difficult to get him out of a negative frame of mind about himself sometimes.
A few days ago he came home and surprised us by saying he wanted to stand for his classes' school councillor - something he shied away from in previous years. The application form was quite long and needed to be handwritten so I was delighted to see him take time over writing it. He did a really good job and we told him so.
Dh and I told him how proud we were of him for wanting to stand and that we couldn't be prouder of him even if he won it, as he kept saying he didn't think many of his classmates wouldn't vote for him.
Another boy who he is close to in the class also applied and although they are good friends, I feel like DS feels inferior to him a lot of the time.
As feared, DS came home saying he had come last in the voting and his friend had got the most by a long way. He wasn't dramatically upset by it but he did say quietly that he would never put himself forward for anything again. Of course I repeated how proud of him we are etc, but he looked so dejected.
Now I know this experience is an important learning curve for him but I can't help feel a little heartbroken for him, mostly because he tried SO hard and came last. The coming last is the hardest but to swallow. The other boy's application form apparently hardly had anything on so it's clearly just a popularity contest.
I just so wanted him to have his efforts rewarded because it's been a battle trying to get him to persevere when there's things he struggles with more than other children. He has really strong emotional intelligence but that works against him in situations like this.
What else do I/can I do to make it better for him? Or should we just move on?
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Ds1 tried so hard but still failed
20 replies
unreconstructedperfectionist · 16/09/2016 20:29
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