So as the title says, life is a constant battle with my DD who is 8. This may seem a trivial example, but we have just had a total standoff over tea. She refused to eat it because of one offending ingredient, I said fine, but was not going to cook anything else. She has stormed off.
Trouble is I guess that is all quite normal, but during our constant battles she also throws a whole load of other stuff into the mix. Today a new one is that she started to pull out her hair. Other times she says that she is a bad person, and nobody loves her, and that everybody hates her, including me. She has also started doing some things that seem slightly bordering on the OCD side (for example, constantly biting her cheek on each side a set number of times).
The thing is, she has sort of always been like this, Since she was a tiny baby I have never felt I can do or be enough for her, she seems to want to eat me alive, and is constantly testing boundaries. One example, she refused a bottle AND solids as a baby (of course, eventually accepted the latter), so was breastfed for what seemed forever, just to get food into her. I know this sounds as though it shouldn't be connected to what is gong on now, but somehow it seems as though we're on a continuum.
I work close to full time and she has always made it very clear to me how she feels about that (not good)!!!
I don't know what to do. The worst thing is that I am scared about her behaviour but equally I am really bloody angry and a lot of the time at the moment just feel like I don't like her very much (of course, I love her to distraction). My DH thinks she just knows how to press my buttons and I shouldn't react, but with the hair pulling and the other stuff, I worry it's more than this. Even to the point that I wonder, does she need some sort of therapy, or am I over-reacting? I should say that much of the time she's fine and often after these episodes will be happily talking and playing before long.
What should I do? Is this normal 8 year old behaviour? I'm pregnant with my third and really wondering where the upside is in parenting at the moment (although I know it's very clearly not all about me)!!
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Life is a constant battle with DD (8). I'm worried about her mental health.
11 replies
squonkyone · 12/09/2016 18:04
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