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4 replies

KCpip · 29/08/2016 21:03

Hi,
I'm a first time mum. Just wondering if anyone else out there experiences these swinging emotions on a daily basis?
My little one is 15 months old. She's very active but not walking yet. I love her to bits (obvs) but sometimes the day to day can be so repetitive. I find my mood can be all over the place on an hourly basis. Is this normal?
I'm quite a quiet person and mainly enjoy spending time with a small number of close friends. My friends aren't in the same place as me just now with regards to children and I'd love to have a bit of support from some mum friends but I find it impossible to get to know other mum's when I'm out and about with my little one as she takes up all of my energy.
Just wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone and/or if there is a point anyone has found that it gets easier?

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beginnersewer · 30/08/2016 11:54

I found that age really difficult as all mine ever wanted to do was run around and there wasn't really much two-way interaction with him. It was easier to have conversations with other mums if we were at somebody's house rather than out and about as the kids were contained in one room and the novelty of having a friend over/different toys to play with would usually keep them entertained.
There is also a local toddler group here where the toddlers race around on ride-on toys etc and it is possible to have a bit of a chat in between refereeing arguments over who plays with the red tractor...
Can you invite someone over to play if you get to know them a little at a playpark or toddler group? It can be a bit nervewracking making the first move but I had to do it as most of my old friends are not local, and it has worked well for me - I have found several other mums who were also feeling quite isolated as no local family/friends with kids.
Good luck!

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KCpip · 30/08/2016 14:54

Hi,
Thanks for your tips. I agree one-on-one play dates would probably work best. We've started going to a little baby sign class so hoping we might meet some people there. The local playgroup seems to be mostly childminders and granny's so haven't managed to meet anyone there.
I made a couple of mum friends early on but they've gone back to work FT and although we keep in touch I can tell their time is v. limited these days.
It's nice to hear your thoughts. Sometimes it's just good to know other people are feeling these things too :)

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beginnersewer · 30/08/2016 17:20

No reason you can't ask a granny to meet up if they are looking after the children regularly. They may be less isolated than another SAHM and therefore feel less need to make a new contact, but you've got nothing to lose by asking, and for all you know they might also be struggling with a lively toddler all day. I know a lot of older ladies locally and they often have seen a lot more children grow up over the years so have a really helpful perspective on what is important and what isn't.
Also, I met a nanny once who said she felt really left out at a lot of baby groups because the mums didn't seem to want to talk to her. So don't ignore the childminders just because they're childminders if that makes sense.
Just look out for someone you think you might get on with and ask, worst case scenario they're not keen and you look out for someone else.

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KCpip · 30/08/2016 18:13

I agree about not ruling people out. I do speak to the granny's and they're all very lovely. I would also speak to the childminders but they all know each other really well and chat amongst themselves.

I live in quite a small place where everyone seems to know everyone and having moved here from elsewhere I find it hard being the newbie. Having said that, I've lived here for a few years now, maybe I need to get better at getting out there!