Baby name regret(14 Posts)
Hello, sorry if I've posted this in the wrong place, I haven't used this site much and can't seem to find a place where this topic would fit... Anyway, I'm unhappy with the name my new baby has. I feel like I was rushed into agreeing to one after a pretty traumatic birth and wish we'd gone with our other choice. DH is fuming that I don't like it and says it hurts his feelings and he loves it. I have bad anxiety and he says it's just that. I never had this with dd name though and picked that in pretty much the same way. I even rang the registry office and they said I could re-register him. When I told DH he said do what you want but I'm having nothing to do with it. He's been really stressy ever since and I've been ill with mastitis and also have a toddler at home so tried to forget about it. Everytime I think about it, I start crying and feel really down about it. DH says there's no way we're changing it and I'll have to get used to it. Its making me resent him and I don't really know what to do. Whether to push for him to let me change it even though his name has been announced to the world or just leave it and try and get used to it? DH is really bothered what oher people think but I couldn't care less what people will think about caging his name. Anyone else been through similar?
I named dd1, l announced her name the second l was told she was a girl after she was born. Not sure why l called her what l did though!
euphoria hormones at surviving a horrendous birth Dh had said previously he liked the name and so was delighted.
5 years on, it's grown on me and dd1 really suits her name.
Is it a name you like, but just never imagined calling your dc?
Thanks for your reply. No I don't really have any problems with the name as such, it's pretty traditional, I just prefer the other one I think. It's completely my own fault as when DH went to register him I said just pick (between the 2.) As I really couldn't hack being pestered anymore. I did ask if we could wait but he said no as we'd still be in the same predicament. I just told him now that Im still not happy and I want to change it and he's gone to sleep downstairs
It's no problem to change it if you could both agree but if your DP really wants to keep the name I'm not sure what you can do. I'm sorry you've been ill and it sounds like a stressful time. Do you like the name at all?
I'm glad that your dd name has grown on you that gives me hope when people ask me his name I just feel like it sticks in my throat and it's pretty underwhelming. Whenever people hear dd name I always get comments of how lovely it is. When I say my sons name I just get a nod of he head and something about it doesn't sit right with me
Thanks Coconut. I'll be honest right from the birth it's all been pretty horrible. DH is usually very calm and laid back but he's really stressed all the time at the minute. I feel like from the minute I brought it up he went on the defensive and it's now such an issue that he won't even talk about it. I think it would embarass him to change it too.
I think you need to put down your foot. You have just been through a traumatic birth and are on a hormonal roller coster. Don't make any rash decisions though I think you have 12 months time to do this. Your dh sounds pretty pig headed has he usually a hard time compromising? If the second name option is not to his liking could you both come up with a new alternative? Take your time but i'd say you should try to change it. I find it odd that your dh was sent to the reg office and told to choose between the names by himself. Both parents should be happy about the name. I hope he is not bullying you into having his way. In my view, tell him you mean business but maybe give yourself a rest from this for a couple of weeks until your Mastitis is sorted and you feel more on top of things again.
congratulations on your baby
Can you put the name you like as a middle name and tell people that's the name that baby will be known by, but original name is the official first name?
No he's not pig headed at all, he's such a lovely person and a brill dad etc. I think he's just had enough and is annoyed that I told him he could pick the name and now I've turned around and said I don't like the one he's picked and he's feeling a bit hurt. It was me that sent him to the registry office as I wasn't really up to going and at the time I thought I'd be fine with either name, they're quite similar. So he was led to believe I'd be happy with either and picked the one he liked best and he told me which it was before he left. And then for some reason it doesn't seem to sit well with me. I don't think hormones are helping or the fact that we'be had a bit of a rubbish time with everything.
You don't need to rush OP. Maybe just give it a bit of time till you feel better and your DH has calmed down a bit. Sounds like you are both pretty emotional at the moment. You might find that the name grows on you but if not you might both be in a better place to disuss it.
I think you're right Coconut, I think we're both very tired and drained. He's just come to bed and said he's sorry and just really tired. I've made him sound like a bit of an asshole reading my posts back and they don't make a whole lot of sense but he's really lovely and supportive. It's hard to explain things online. My only worry leaving it a while is that it will be that bit harder for DH and everyone will be used to his name. I'll definitely leave it until we're both a bit better rested and feeling better.
Morning pop but probably you are more in need of if I remember correctly
newborn stages are a remote blur.
How lovely of your dh to say sorry. we can all get into a strop over certain things some times and you are probably both tired and exhausted. Take your time, explore both names together and change if necessary. In the meantime, can you use nicknames that would help bridge these two names if you do decide to change?
I sort of know how you feel, I liked my DS's name as a theory before he was born, and when we went through our list after the birth it seemed the right one to pick. Once the drugs had worn off it seemed really weird and a few months on every time I say it I feel a bit uncomfortable! It's pretty unusual and I can tell some people are thinking 'wtf?' I'm hoping just to get used to it over time and one day I'll have that 'I can't imagine him being called anything else' moment.
Maybe a nickname will develop, or maybe you'll learn to love it. Until then be honest with your husband that you are struggling a bit with it but that you don't blame him, after all you gave him the choice! Hopefully you can work something out. Also I gave the cat a name I loved
Call her the new name for a week and 'live'with the name and see do you still want to change and if you do go for it. We were kind of in a similar situation with dd2 and she is her name now but I still am not 100% on it.
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