Separation abroad - please help

(1 Post)
confusedinparadise Thu 25-Aug-16 05:45:45

My lovely husband and I moved abroad with our 7 year old son 2 years ago. We had a horrible time during our first year, despised our house - but were unable to leave due to the company policy, and overall it was a nightmare. He was strong throughout it all, and got us through. Recently we are loving our new house/job/school...Everything should be good, right? Wrong, we have decided to separate.

We no longer make eachother happy, after 8 (married 5) years together being around him makes me anxious, he doesn't make me feel wanted/appreciated/loved etc. This is in no way his fault, I constantly put him down and in general he can do no right. We are both so unhappy together... Yet neither of us want to let go.

Of course we have a 7 year old son to consider - who is 8 hours flight away from all his family and little friends. He's loving being here and has a fantastic group of friends, we do not want to rock the boat.

Our plan is to live together (we can't really afford to live apart atm) and co- parent with rules. We love and respect each other dearly, we're just not meant to be - even the attraction has gone. So I hope this can work? It will be short term-ish, 9 months.

So my question is - What do we do? I really do not want to be with him any longer (he kind of wants to give it another go, but I know this would not work)
Is this co- parenting idea ridiculous?
Am I being selfish in wanting our unit to remain the same-ish for now but not have the commitments and demands of a relationship?
He is the most wonderful and amazing person I have ever met. We got pregnant when we were both 20 and he's looked after me and our son so well - so the guilt of this decision is breaking my heart. A cliche description would be 'i love him but i'm not in love with him'.

Please bear in mind that we are both only 27 and my message might seem naive or selfish or many other things, but we're just trying to find our way in the world, with minimal confusion to our little pride and joy. Any advise would be appreciated very much

p.s I forgot to add that he is an amazing father who worships our son.

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