Do i let my ten year old go and live with dad?

(5 Posts)
user1472037573 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:26:13

Please can anyone help me and give advise my ten year old daughter lives at home with me, step dad, 2 sisters aged 9 and 7 all girls are to the same dad and i have a 5 month old son with my partner now. For a good while now my 10 year old daughter wants to go amd live with her dad this breaks my heart and i dont want her to go but she will cry daily for him and i feel like she hates me for this, ive really had enough and dont know what to do for the best any advice would be very grateful thank yous

LostQueen Wed 24-Aug-16 12:32:00

Has she explained why she's so unhappy living with you all?

creativevoid Wed 24-Aug-16 12:32:25

I don't have experience of this (yet), but I am wondering how often she sees her dad? If it is 50/50 maybe this is worth considering, if it is significantly less, perhaps this is her way of expressing her sadness at not seeing him more? In which case maybe just increase the contact? Is her father even willing to have her with him permanently? Are you happy with him as a father and think he would/could do a good job? Even if the answer to the last two questions is yes, I would question whether splitting her up from her siblings is wise, and wonder whether her father, if he were truly acting in her best interests, would think it was wise. Maybe the two of you talking to her and telling her that you both think the current arrangement (or some modified version that meets her needs better) is in her best interests would help.

uhoh2016 Wed 24-Aug-16 20:51:09

How does Dad feel about it? Are her sisters likely to follow? How often does she see Dad now? Could that be increased to start off with before a full move to Dad's?

SharonfromEON Wed 24-Aug-16 20:58:37

I would need to know why she wants to move in with her dad.

How far away does he live?
How would he feel?
Is he the Disney Dad with no rules?

What is current contact?

Does she feel lost with 4 children..Does she want some 1-1 time which I understand with a 5 month old is difficult

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