Wondering about developmental delays in my toddler?

(7 Posts)
dh85 Wed 24-Aug-16 11:27:06

Any advice would be appreciated as I've convinced myself something is drastically wrong sad
My son will be 2 in November and isn't speaking, he has no words just a lot of humming when he's excited or general incoherant babble or yelling (but not in a tantrum kind of way). He'll make sounds like 'b' or 'mmmm' but not say baba, he doesn't say mama or dada (although when he cries it sounds like he's crying mama but its not very clear). We had his hearing checked at 10 months (and he passed the exams) as he had started to babble at 6 months and then fell quiet for a long time, he wouldn't respond to his name or any loud noises, he just sat there in his own little world and didn't engage with us unless we came to him. He has been referral off to speech and language therapy and we are awaiting an appointment, but as time goes on and the harder we try with him there is STILL no improvement in his speech, and its got me watching for other traits now. He does communicate with basic needs, like he'll bring us his empty juice cup if he wants more, or his megablocks bag if he wants the zipper open, but again this is limited. He will engage with us if we are doing something he likes, but if he has initiated play by himself he's very hard to engage with. He wont use shape sorters, build his blocks or use toys as they are to be used, instead he will take them one by one out of the bag, or puzzle and group them together on the floor or sofa, not by colour or anything specific just in a group. He has little stacking pots which he will also group together and sometimes will try and put them back together but not stack them, he will let us do it though. If we tidy his toys away he doesn't get upset or annoyed, he is generally a very placid and pleasant child but we can see the frustration sometimes when something displeases him but he can't tell us what it is.
Apologies for the long winded post but I really need advice or reassurance. The health visitor is only concerned with his speech and doesn't seem to find any other abnormalities but it was a brief interview.

albertcampionscat Wed 24-Aug-16 12:09:35

I can't advise or reassure - but when I worried about ds1's speech I found the m-chat ASD test helpful.

www.m-chat.org/

Other thought - can you afford a private salt session.

Pandamanda3 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:21:40

Hello there
I seen your post & thought I'd reply. Iv been in your situation myself some 17 years ago now though. Wondering why my ds hasn't done this or that yet, in my case my son was diagnosed with develp delay then later on autism, but do not panick that's not to say your child will be.
One thing I can say is with both my sons they developed in there own time, Mother Nature has a way of catching up and each child is different in that. My son had babble then lost it and didn't really start talking then till he was about 4. You could try a play group to see how he feels around other children sometimes that can help but in my case it did bear issues and give more clues as to his social skills, Coping with noise etc.. One thing I have always found hugely helpful is macaton's picture exchange etc.. You can easily make little flash cards yourself of everyday things. So that if words fail your son he has a way to express his feelings and needs to you through pictures. It takes some learning for him to acknowledge the benefits and why he should flash a card to you so to speak but he will get the hang of it eventually.
You can start by doing one for juice and always say to him that's your your juice? do you want some juice? Or a picture of his fav toy? And say do you want to play? Shall we find your toy?
You can build them up to suit and eventually he will know that for whatever reason if he can't get his little point across the cards will help.
You can have feelings cards you know happy sad faces just to eleviate frustration that may build. But always r_iterating the verbal sound back to him which you will do anyway as a mum. You matter at your kids all the time don't you? It's natural to have a little gab. But if your waiting for a referral then in the meantime this could help. as I say at first it's a bit hit & miss but it could help.

Get your family to follow what your doing with him too so everyone is aware of anything you find is helping so he feels comfortable he can be understood if your not there. He will start to pick up words it's hard to see right now as you naturally worry but I found eventually it all catches up when they are ready. Try not to be too concerned by milestones and 'the they should be doing at such an age!
It will drive you crazy, if there is anything else you want to know or ask do post im no expert mind, just a mum who's been there & my ds is now about to start college. So no matter how much they can & cannot do it doesn't matter they find there own way eventually especially with a good mum like you behind him!
Hope this helps take care x

nennyrainbow Wed 24-Aug-16 12:34:41

It could be ASD from what you describe, but unless it's obvious such as no eye contact, I would say you are unlikely to get a diagnosis at this age as children develop at different rates. Will you be getting a 2 year health check where you are? I would think that would be when the HV would be likely to take it further.
My DS2 was a late talker too, got very upset by seemingly unimportant things eg a biscuit not being perfectly round, and would only engage with adults on his own terms. He was diagnosed with high functioning ASD when he was 4.5. Like you, I had concerns about his lack of babbling and speech and had his hearing tested but there was nothing wrong there. As he got older, it was his behaviour that started to cause concern. He was assessed for autism when he was 3 but because it still wasn't clear cut ( he had good eye conduct and facial expressions), they didn't diagnose him immediately. Incidentally, his speech caught up to normal levels without intervention once he started reading. It turns out that he responds much better to visual stimuli than ones that you hear, which explains his speech delay and also his aptitude at reading and doing jigsaw puzzles. He is now an intelligent 6 year old whose specialist subjects are the solar system and the human body!

dh85 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:44:03

Thankyou for taking the time to reply, I'm so grateful for any advice! From my perspective it's like he just doesn't feel the need to speak? If that makes sense. But my mum and sister are convinced something is wrong - which is upsetting to hear and maybe I am making excuses for him because I dont want to believe that there may be something?? I do really believe though that he is ok for his age as boys are notoriously slower, but its the speaking thing thats getting to me. He's happy to make his little noises, and he shows emotions appropriately too. He claps when he's happy or something pleases him or jumps up and down waving his hands making his excited humming sound when he's excited. Its driving me crazy not being able to communicate properly with him, and Im constantly talking to him and its so repetitive its making me wonder why he isn't catching on? He understands what I'm saying, every word but just wont try to talk back. He's not around other kids much but neither was my daughter and she was quite advanced in speech and understanding for her age regardless. And when he's around kids he's aware of them but he's happy to play by himself, but again if they are doing something that he's interested in or finds funny, he'll react appropriately by laughing or clapping. Its so frustrating not knowing sad

nennyrainbow Wed 24-Aug-16 13:39:05

I can understand your frustration and worry. And bear in mind that nothing gets done quickly on the NHS! But on the plus side, you're already on the list for speech therapy which is the important thing at the moment. If there is a deeper issue such as ASD, my experience is that getting a diagnosis doesn't change anything so there's no need to rush it. You can use the same strategies at home (eg the visual cards that someone suggested above) and he should get the same support at nursery with or without a diagnosis because it goes according to need. If, when he goes to nursery, the nursery thinks there is a problem and he needs extra support eg 1:1, they will get someone in to assess his needs.

Endofthelinee Wed 24-Aug-16 19:49:07

Hi, my ds is 2 at the end of January and is similar to yours, but he does repeat dadada or mamama, but doesn't know what it means iyswim.

We spoke to hv about a month ago and he has his salt appointment tomorrow. I think you should push to be seen quicker.

Good luck, hope it gets sorted soon.

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