Hi, looking for some advice on grandparents not being interested pleased. It's a bit of a tough topic, as my wife's mum who lives 45 miles away makes an effort every other weekend or when she can to come visit both kids (aged 17 month and 3 month).
My wifes Nan, lives roughly 5 miles away and is great with the boys, she looks after the eldest every Wednesday. When it comes to my parents, it's a totally different story. My mum and dad live approx 5 miles away, and my mum doesn't work and doesn't drive. My dad was working until two weeks ago when his contract ended. In the year and a half that my eldest has been on this earth, my mum has only ever come round to the house during the week once. My wife is at home all day every day with them both and i've tried saying "the kids are at home all the time during the week, come visit" but my mum doesn't.
At the weekends they occasionally come visit, maybe once every 3-4 weeks but normally they are out taking the dogs on a long dog walk or similar. Yesterday my mum text asking to take just the eldest to a farm on Saturday. I discuss this with my wife last night and she wasn't happy. We just don't feel comfortable with them taking him somewhere like that (it's his first time to a farm) considering he hasn't really bonded with either of them, and vice versa. It also annoyed us both that she only wanted to take one and not both kids.
I text her back with the following:
"We would both prefer it if you spend more time with both the boys before taking them somewhere like a farm, and when you get to know the boys a bit better. It would be nice if you both got involved in their lives more often and not just for the fun weekends and the odd day out. Chantelle (my wife) is at home all day every day and with dad being off work, you could both see them more often if you wanted to. We would just feel more comfortable with you both having them more regularly before going to the farm thats all. You can still have him on Saturday but would prefer if you did something more local or something at home with him".
I can tell she and my dad are upset and we're going to see them tonight to discuss.
Did we do the right thing? Are we in the wrong? HELP! :(
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
Grandparents not interested
18 replies
hypermind · 12/08/2016 15:08
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.